™FR3ESTYLEKING'S OFFICIAL JOKEBOOK

🤖 AI Summary

No AI summary has been generated for this thread yet.
This dude's CRA-ZEE

Little Johnny was a mean, arrogant, foul-mouthed brat, and his father
was tired of it. Christmas was coming up, so he gave Little Johnny an ultimatum, "Behave yourself and you'll get what you want for Christmas; keep acting like a jerk and you'll get a pile of dog ish in place of the gift".

Little Johnny couldn't help himself when he told his dad what he wanted for Christmas. It was habitual. "I want a phucking teddy bear laying right here beside me when I wake up on Christmas morning," Little Johnny said. "Then, when I go downstairs, I want to see a train going around the phucking tree, and when I go outside I expect to see a new bicycle leaning up against the damned garage!"

Christmas morning, Little Johnny woke up and rolled over into a big pile of dog ish. Confused, he walked downstairs and saw a bunch of dog ish around the Christmas tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog ish by the garage.

When he came back inside the house, his dad smiled and asked, "So,
Little Johnny, what did Santa bring you this year?"

Little Johnny replied, "Beats the hell out of me. I think I got a
phucking dog but I can't find him anywhere."
 
Ways To Make HIS Xmas A XXXmas!

1.)Trim his tree.

2.)Lick his luscious candy cane.

3.)Be his "ho-ho-ho" for the holidays.

4.)Polish his Christmas balls.

5.)Ride him like a reindeer.

6.)Taste his sweet egg-nog.

7.)Deck the halls with moans of pleasure.

8.)Fa, la, la, latio- la, la, la, la.

9.)Spark his menorah with a hot strip tease.

10.)Request a stiff stocking stuff-her!

11.)Make his Kris Kringle tingle.

12.)Gift wrap yourself in sexy lingere.

13.)Unwrap his package.

14.)Hang mistletoe from any place you want kissed.

15.)Rock his jingle bells in the frosty air.

16.)Make your Rudolph's hose as red as his nose.

17.)Heat him up with a snow job.

18.)Give the Christmas carolers a show of your own.

19.)Dress up as Santa's nasty little helper.

20.)Make sure you're naughty, so it's nice.
 
Death Row in Women's Prison

Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"

Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"

Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!"

Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.

By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"

And the blonde yells, "FIRE!!!"

😱
 
Not Going To Try This Again

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.
 
Blondevision

A blonde went to an appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time: a brown curly wig, big baggy clothes, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she approached the salesman again and said, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

"Because that's a microwave," he replied. 😱
 
Another Dumb Moment

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!''

The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!'' 😱
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top