Bumper Sticker Sayings:
#1. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
#2. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
#3. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
#4. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
#5. Do I look like a freakin' people person?
#6. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
#7. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
#8. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
#9. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
#10. You! Off my planet!
#11. I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes.
#12. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
#13. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
#14. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
#15. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
#16. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
#17. I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.
#18. Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
#19. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
#20. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
#21. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
#22. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
#23. Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!
#24. Adults are just kids who owe money.
#25. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
#26. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
#27. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
#28. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
#29. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat.
#30. You look like shit. Is that the style now?
#31. Earth is full. Go home.
#32. Is it time for your medication or mine?
#33. Does this condom make me look fat?
#34. I plead contemporary insanity.
#35. And which dwarf are you?
#36. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
#37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
#38. Meandering to a different drummer.
#39. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
#40. I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?
