CF Freestyle GrandMaster
- Jun 26, 2002
- Reaction score
I will never tell :lol Thank you and "My spare time is geared toward funny" :lol
FR3ESTYLEKING said:Clemson Wedding -- A long, true story
This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. This was a huge wedding with over 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage and took the microphone to talk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and groom's families for coming and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a fabulous reception. To thank everyone for coming and bringing gifts and everything, he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift from just him. Taped to the bottom of everyone's chair (even the chairs of the wedding party) was a manila envelope. He said that was his gift to everyone, and told everyone to open their envelopes.
Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 picture of his best man having sex with the bride. (He had gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired a private detective to trail them weeks prior to the wedding.) After he stood there and watched the people's reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said "F*** you !" he then turned to the bride and said "F*** you !" and then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said..... "Thanks, I'm out of here."
He had the marriage annulled first thing that Monday morning. While most of us would have broken off the engagement immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with it anyway as if nothing was wrong. His revenge: 1) Making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception. 2) Letting everyone know exactly what did happen. 3) And best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of all of their friends, their parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, nieces and nephews, etc.... Ya gotta love this guy.
KENNY GUIDO said:I guess this thread should be "unstick" now sinc he aint a mod anymore!
FR3ESTYLEKING said:RATED S for SEXUAL:
There was a couple who did not want their children to know when they were going to have sex, so they decided on a code of "writing a letter."
One day, Daddy said to his daughter, "Tell your mommy that Daddy wants to write a letter." The girl went and told her mommy and the mom said, "The red ribbon is coming out, not now." The girl went back to the daddy and told him.
One day, Mommy told her daughter to tell her daddy that she wanted to write a letter. Daddy replied, "Not now. Daddy already wrote the letter by hand."
I'm bored sowwwwwwwwwy
3rd Grade Quiz........
A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students, Johnny.
"I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!"
The teacher had had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office. While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. The teacher agreed. Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agrees to take the test.
"What is 3x3?"
"johhny said 9."
"What is 6 x 6 ?"
"johnny said 36."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grader should know. The principal looked at the teacher and told her he thought Johnny belonged in third grade.
"Let me ask him some questions. What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
"johnny said Legs."
"What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
"johnny said Pockets."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Johnny in the fifth grade, I missed the last two questions."
#1. How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?
#2. Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too.
#3. Let me smell that shirt - don't worry, it's good for another week.
#4. Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day.
#5. That outfit isn't sexy enough, here, unbutton your blouse.
#6. Why don't you hitchhike? It would totally be cheaper.
#7. The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here.
#8. Don't clean your room so often. It makes the rest of the house look bad.
#9. Can I borrow your new speed metal CDs?
#10. Naw, you don't have to call me, I'll eventually figure it out if you're in trouble.