™FR3ESTYLEKING'S OFFICIAL JOKEBOOK

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Evil.....Just Evil...

A young, lonely guy driving across the country decided to pick up a
stunning, blonde hitchhiker. A few miles into the trek, the blonde
started coming onto him, so needless to say, he pulled over to the side of the desolate, deserted road so she could give him some oral pleasure. Once his pants were down to his ankles, the blonde surprised him with a gun and bound his wrists to his ankles. Then, she robbed him of his wallet and clothes, and drove off with his car. Once she was out of sight, the man struggled to his feet and began
hopping alongside the road in a desperate attempt to get something's
help.A short time later, a trucker pulled up alongside the troubled man. "What happened to you?" asked the trucker, with a grin. The man explained his plight... The trucker stepped down from his truck, and as he unzipped his pants he remarked, "This just ain't been your day, has it boy!"

:lol
 
Bad Johnny, Stupid Blonde

To prepare for his big date, Little Johnny went on top of the roof of
his apartment building in order to get a little color for himself. He
had heard that this 'blonde' liked well tanned men. Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude.

Unfortunately, Little Johnny fell asleep while on the roof, and managed to get sunburned on his "tool of trade." Being very determined, Little Johnny decided not to miss his date with this 'hot blonde'. So, he decided to put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze, feeling this should ease his painful situation.

The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment and Little Johnny
treated her to a home-cooked dinner, after which they decided to watch a movie. During the movie, however, Little Johnny's sunburn started acting up.

After several minutes of extreme discomfort he asked to be excused, went to the kitchen, and poured a tall cold glass of milk. He then placed his sunburned penis in the milk and experienced immediate relief.

The blonde, however, wondering what he was doing, wandered into the
kitchen to see him with his 'mighty sword' immersed in a glass of milk.

The blonde's face lit up and she exclaimed, "So, THAT'S how you load
those things!"

:lol
 
Just some things mama told me...

Not to cuss.

Not to cohabitate.

Not to use that language.

Not to go in the first place.

Not to invest in Telecom stocks.

Not to date sluts.

Not to eat with my hands.

Not to drink from the filthy bucket.

Not to train octopi.

Not to beat myself with slotted spoons.

Not to mix plaids and stripes.

Not to wiggle.

Not to beat eggs for an omelet during Uncle Freddie's funeral.

Not to save and collect my empty enemas.

Not to smell my feet.

Not to banish Captain Snuggles to the washing machine.

Not to lick the poison mushrooms.

Not to unlock the closet.

Not to wear her bras.

Not to “tickle the gator”.

Not to play with the children under the stairs.

Not to juggle the plutonium.

Not to smoke her cigars.

Not to seethe.

Not to let the dogs out, because she’ll know who did it.

Not to cry like a big, fat, hairy little girl.

Not to dance dirty.

Not to fiddle with my colostomy bag.

Not to get jiggy with it, or anything for that matter.

Not to tap on my brother’s iron lung.

Not to take candy from strangers.

Not to let Dad out of the closet.
 
Helicopter Lessons

One day, a blonde went to go get lessons on how to fly a plane. The guy at the airport said there were no more plane flying lessons this year but she could take helicopter lessons. The blonde agreed and the man taught her and said, "I'll radio you every 1000 feet you go in the air." The blonde agreed.

She jumped in and took off. At 1000 feet, she radioed him and asked how she was doing. He said she was doing great. At 2000 feet, she radioed him and asked how she was doing. He said she was doing great. But right before she got to 3000 feet, the propeller stopped and she started twirling to the ground. When she landed, he went over to pull her out of the helicopter. He asked her what went wrong because she was doing perfect before.

The blonde said, "At 2500 feet, I started to get cold so I turned the big fan off."

gotta love da blondes :lol
 
THE TRUTH

At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth” -- even when you don't know anything.

The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted by his mother at the front door he says, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don't tell your father.”

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don't say a word to your mother.”

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms and says, "Then come give your FATHER a big hug."
 
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