latinocop
New member
I read this on another forum. I wonder why she's still single.
Single white female, 24, seeks single male of Irish or European descent, 24-26, between 5'10 and 6' tall, 175-180 pounds, with sandy blond to light brown hair, green eyes that are not too blueish, and a mildly to moderately athletic build. Should have been educated in one of the Big Ten schools and possess a degree in a scientific/computer-related field. Those without perfect eyesight need not apply- and NO LASIK. Must speak one foreign language, preferably Gaelic. Scarring to the body should be minimal. Bones resistant to breaking (i.e. one break or less in the 24 to 26 years) preferable. Seasonal allergies acceptable but only if kept under strict control by Zyrtec®, NOT Allegra®. Nostrils should be no more than 3/8" in diameter. Nipple hair judged on a case-by-case basis. Tattoos, unless they are of greek letters and membership in the fraternity that they represent can be proven, are an automatic rejection. Dental records should be included if possible with response.
Should a romance blossom, I'd like to spend 1/4 of each day with you, on average. Of that time, and we'll just use one week (42 hours) as an example, I'd like to spend approximately 2.5 hours at a movie theater (we have to arrive at least a half hour before showtime so that we allow time in case there is a long popcorn line and/or the person behind the counter gives me a hard time about making a 3/4 diet coke/1/4 cherry coke mix- we wouldn't want to miss the previews), 6 hours watching tv/movies at home (approximately 2 hours of which we will watch on separate couches, 2 hours on the same couch, and 2 hours lying in bed, not including the time when we are having sex with the tv on), 6 hours making out/having sex (2 hours of which I will spend on top, 2 hours of which you will spend on top, 1 hour of which we will do it side by side, 30 minutes of which you will do me from behind (15 minutes doggy style, 15 minutes lying on top of me), and 30 minutes where we will try a new position I learned in Cosmo's Kama Sutra pullout guide), 3.5 hours eating at restaurants (1 hour at a mexican place where I will slap your wrist if you double-dip in the salsa, 1.5 hours at an Italian place, because it always takes me an extra half hour to figure out what I want to order, and 1 hour at a new restaurant, whatever The Reader's restaurant critic picks that week), 2 hours playing Trivial Pursuit (and if you beat me, I will know you're cheating), 2 hours reading quietly side-by-side lying in bed (topics: history, politics, biography, fiction written by Steinbeck), 1 hour where you listen quietly and sympathetically to me complain about how there are no jobs available that encourage creativite freedom for a person as brilliant as I, .5 hours where you rub lotion into my feet without being asked, .5 hours paying me compliments (good starters: "You are so incredibly beautiful" "Are those really your REAL fingernails?" "Come on... you don't dye your hair to get it that gorgeous color?" "Those MUST be colored contacts." "I really prefer your milky white skin to those fake tanning booth tans." "Your teeth are so white!").
The remaining 18 hours, approximately, will be spent sleeping, 9 at my place, depending on if my roommate is home/whether we'll be having sex that day, and 9 at your place, depending on whether you've done the requisite amount of cleaning for me to enter your apartment. This includes dusting, vacuuming, wiping down all countertops/surfaces I might come into contact with, doing a complete change of linens, sanitizing the toilet seat/bowl/area (and putting the seat down), removing garbage, running the garbage disposal for no less than fifteen seconds with running water no less than 175° F to kill all bacteria/infectious disease causing agents that might be present from prior faulty food disposal. Also, your fridge should be stocked with no fewer than 6 each of Diet Coke and Cherry Coke.
If the above conditions are not met, then depending on my mood/whether I have spoken to my mother that day/whether I have taken my birth control pills at the exact same time every night that week/whether you paid for the Pill this month/whether ER ended on an uplifting note this week/how many Cherry Cokes and Diet Cokes I have in MY fridge, we will either go back to my place or I will get really mad about something trivial and storm off, and then get really pissed off if you don't come after me or make you ask me what's wrong for forty-five minutes before I feel better.
If we do sleep at my place, or your place is acceptable for resting (and your place would only be acceptable for resting in the first place if you have a bed that is queen size or larger, and sheets with a thread count of 230 or higher), we will spend one half-hour to one hour cuddling. Then when we are 75% drowsy enough to actually sleep, you will go to your side of the bed and I will go to mine, and I will sleep under a different blanket than you, so there will be no covers-stealing in the middle of the night. I will sleep on my stomach with my head facing left, and you will sleep on your stomach with your head facing right, to avoid either of us blowing disgusting methane-filled morning breath into each other's faces at any time- preventing the romance from dying is important.
And now, a few things about me. I am 5'3.43" tall. Around the first of the month at 9 a.m., I weigh 132.4 lbs. At 9 p.m., I weigh 133.6 lbs. Around the fifteenth of the month at 9 a.m., I weigh approximately 135.1 lbs. At 9 p.m. I weigh approximately 135.6 lbs. My scale is accurate to a tenth of a pound.
My left eyebrow is 1/8" longer than my right, but both eyebrows meet the culturally accepted standard of beauty of 1/4" past the inner corner of my eye. My hair is 22.35" long and has been described as cottonwood bark brown with a hint of berry. My eyes and lips form a perfect isoscles triangle. My complexion is very good; however, there is a small scar from when I had the chicken pox as a child (January 13th-24th, 1983) approximately one half inch to the upper right of the right corner of my mouth. It has been described as cute. I also have one small almond-shaped birthmark on my right calf. It, too, has been described as cute.
If a relationship between us does work out, marriage within 3 years is a requirement, and an engagement ring (platinum Tiffany band, 1.45 carats, radiant cut E VS2 or better, ratio of sides 3:2) is expected within 15 months. Kids (1 boy- Jesse or Adam, 2 girls- Rachel and Elizabeth) approximately 4 years after marriage, depending on whether or not I'm running the marathon that year, which depends on whether the weather permitted me to start training early enough in the spring to be ready by October.
I have been described by friends and family as open-minded, laid-back, low-maintenance and non-judgmental. I ask that you be the same.
Aren't there any nice guys left out there?
Single white female, 24, seeks single male of Irish or European descent, 24-26, between 5'10 and 6' tall, 175-180 pounds, with sandy blond to light brown hair, green eyes that are not too blueish, and a mildly to moderately athletic build. Should have been educated in one of the Big Ten schools and possess a degree in a scientific/computer-related field. Those without perfect eyesight need not apply- and NO LASIK. Must speak one foreign language, preferably Gaelic. Scarring to the body should be minimal. Bones resistant to breaking (i.e. one break or less in the 24 to 26 years) preferable. Seasonal allergies acceptable but only if kept under strict control by Zyrtec®, NOT Allegra®. Nostrils should be no more than 3/8" in diameter. Nipple hair judged on a case-by-case basis. Tattoos, unless they are of greek letters and membership in the fraternity that they represent can be proven, are an automatic rejection. Dental records should be included if possible with response.
Should a romance blossom, I'd like to spend 1/4 of each day with you, on average. Of that time, and we'll just use one week (42 hours) as an example, I'd like to spend approximately 2.5 hours at a movie theater (we have to arrive at least a half hour before showtime so that we allow time in case there is a long popcorn line and/or the person behind the counter gives me a hard time about making a 3/4 diet coke/1/4 cherry coke mix- we wouldn't want to miss the previews), 6 hours watching tv/movies at home (approximately 2 hours of which we will watch on separate couches, 2 hours on the same couch, and 2 hours lying in bed, not including the time when we are having sex with the tv on), 6 hours making out/having sex (2 hours of which I will spend on top, 2 hours of which you will spend on top, 1 hour of which we will do it side by side, 30 minutes of which you will do me from behind (15 minutes doggy style, 15 minutes lying on top of me), and 30 minutes where we will try a new position I learned in Cosmo's Kama Sutra pullout guide), 3.5 hours eating at restaurants (1 hour at a mexican place where I will slap your wrist if you double-dip in the salsa, 1.5 hours at an Italian place, because it always takes me an extra half hour to figure out what I want to order, and 1 hour at a new restaurant, whatever The Reader's restaurant critic picks that week), 2 hours playing Trivial Pursuit (and if you beat me, I will know you're cheating), 2 hours reading quietly side-by-side lying in bed (topics: history, politics, biography, fiction written by Steinbeck), 1 hour where you listen quietly and sympathetically to me complain about how there are no jobs available that encourage creativite freedom for a person as brilliant as I, .5 hours where you rub lotion into my feet without being asked, .5 hours paying me compliments (good starters: "You are so incredibly beautiful" "Are those really your REAL fingernails?" "Come on... you don't dye your hair to get it that gorgeous color?" "Those MUST be colored contacts." "I really prefer your milky white skin to those fake tanning booth tans." "Your teeth are so white!").
The remaining 18 hours, approximately, will be spent sleeping, 9 at my place, depending on if my roommate is home/whether we'll be having sex that day, and 9 at your place, depending on whether you've done the requisite amount of cleaning for me to enter your apartment. This includes dusting, vacuuming, wiping down all countertops/surfaces I might come into contact with, doing a complete change of linens, sanitizing the toilet seat/bowl/area (and putting the seat down), removing garbage, running the garbage disposal for no less than fifteen seconds with running water no less than 175° F to kill all bacteria/infectious disease causing agents that might be present from prior faulty food disposal. Also, your fridge should be stocked with no fewer than 6 each of Diet Coke and Cherry Coke.
If the above conditions are not met, then depending on my mood/whether I have spoken to my mother that day/whether I have taken my birth control pills at the exact same time every night that week/whether you paid for the Pill this month/whether ER ended on an uplifting note this week/how many Cherry Cokes and Diet Cokes I have in MY fridge, we will either go back to my place or I will get really mad about something trivial and storm off, and then get really pissed off if you don't come after me or make you ask me what's wrong for forty-five minutes before I feel better.
If we do sleep at my place, or your place is acceptable for resting (and your place would only be acceptable for resting in the first place if you have a bed that is queen size or larger, and sheets with a thread count of 230 or higher), we will spend one half-hour to one hour cuddling. Then when we are 75% drowsy enough to actually sleep, you will go to your side of the bed and I will go to mine, and I will sleep under a different blanket than you, so there will be no covers-stealing in the middle of the night. I will sleep on my stomach with my head facing left, and you will sleep on your stomach with your head facing right, to avoid either of us blowing disgusting methane-filled morning breath into each other's faces at any time- preventing the romance from dying is important.
And now, a few things about me. I am 5'3.43" tall. Around the first of the month at 9 a.m., I weigh 132.4 lbs. At 9 p.m., I weigh 133.6 lbs. Around the fifteenth of the month at 9 a.m., I weigh approximately 135.1 lbs. At 9 p.m. I weigh approximately 135.6 lbs. My scale is accurate to a tenth of a pound.
My left eyebrow is 1/8" longer than my right, but both eyebrows meet the culturally accepted standard of beauty of 1/4" past the inner corner of my eye. My hair is 22.35" long and has been described as cottonwood bark brown with a hint of berry. My eyes and lips form a perfect isoscles triangle. My complexion is very good; however, there is a small scar from when I had the chicken pox as a child (January 13th-24th, 1983) approximately one half inch to the upper right of the right corner of my mouth. It has been described as cute. I also have one small almond-shaped birthmark on my right calf. It, too, has been described as cute.
If a relationship between us does work out, marriage within 3 years is a requirement, and an engagement ring (platinum Tiffany band, 1.45 carats, radiant cut E VS2 or better, ratio of sides 3:2) is expected within 15 months. Kids (1 boy- Jesse or Adam, 2 girls- Rachel and Elizabeth) approximately 4 years after marriage, depending on whether or not I'm running the marathon that year, which depends on whether the weather permitted me to start training early enough in the spring to be ready by October.
I have been described by friends and family as open-minded, laid-back, low-maintenance and non-judgmental. I ask that you be the same.
Aren't there any nice guys left out there?
