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8th-Sin

8th-Sin

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Top Ten Things Your Weatherman Says That Sound Dirty, But Aren't

10. It's gonna be sloppy, so don't forget your rubbers.

9. Old Man Winter sure is rearing his huge, ugly head, isn't he?

8. The south is getting hit hard tonight.

7. This long and powerful formation should extend into your region, pretty much soaking the entire area.

6. She's gonna blow like crazy tonight.

5. Things don't look like they'll be clearing up anytime soon.

4. This just in...

3. It's hot and moist in Beaver...Pennsylvania.

2. Taking a look at my Doppler...

1. Tonight you can expect 5 to 7 inches.

Weathermen, you know how they always overestimate...chances are there will only be 3-5...
 
Top Fifteen Best Pick-up Lines for Smokers

15. "Hey, babe--how about we save these for afterward?"

14. "Once you hack, you'll never go back."

13. "What's your sign--Smoking or Non?"

12. "If you show me your patch, I'll show you mine."

11. "Behind these wrinkles there's a Marlboro Man."

10. "Do you prefer soft or hard pack?"

9. "Second hand, third hand ... as long as I get a hand in there somewhere!"

8. "Hey, what's you sign? Mine's cancer."

7. "Here, you can sit on my oxygen tank."

6. "Sure, I'm 37. I can buy 'em for you."

5. "Talk about a match made in Heaven ...."

4 . "Is that a Virginia Slim in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

3. "Your butt or mine?"

2. "I have a big, fat Cuban waiting for you back at my apartment."

1. "Wanna know why my fingers are yellow?"
 
Number 7 Kills me... LOL

Top Ten Signs You're Losing Your Sexual Appeal

10. You find air-sick bags where the Vaseline used to be.

9. When you talk about sex in the chat room, no one seems to care anymore.

8. Hookers start charging you their "Dom DeLuise" rate.

7. The last time you got a piece of *CENSORED* was when your finger slipped through the toilet paper.

6. Instead of asking you to dance, girls ask you to watch their stuff.

5. Even your *CENSORED* isn't hard.

4. *CENSORED*

3. Your wife states "Well, at least I don't have to worry about you cheating on me now."

2. Your parents argue about which one of them you look more like.

1. Your wife says, "I think I'm going to have a headache right after ER is over."
 
Your Local Weatherman's Top Ten Pick-Up Lines

10. Hi! I'm not Willard Scott.

9. Spend the night with me and I'll see to it they name the next hurricane after you.

8. Don't make your front so stationary!

7. Is it wet in your area?

6. Wanna see how I measured that 8" of snow this morning?

5. You know you'd be really surprised at what dew point can do to your underwear.

4. Insert any "Warm Front" Joke right here.

3. The thermometer don't get any redder than this!

2. That ain't rain.

1. Baby, go out with me, I'll close your school tomorrow.
 
Frosty The Snowman's Top Ten Pickup Lines

10. "I'm only in town for a few weeks, so I was thinking that maybe you and me..."

9. "What's a snow angel like you doing in a backyard like this?"

8. "Wanna go back to my place and 'thumpety-thump-thump?'"

7. "Ever been hit in the chin with a snowball?"

6. "I honestly don't mind sleeping in the wet spot."

5. "I drive a Zamboni."

4. "Wanna play Hide-the-Carrot?"

3. "Wanna see if your tongue really does stick?"

2. "Frankly, I prefer frigid women." (mrsbrak@aol.com)

1. "No no no, it's only yellow snow that you can't eat."
 
LMAO!!!! What does the dewpoint do to your underwear?????????? LOLOLOL 😛
 
Top Ten Effects of the 'I Love You' Virus

10. Changed the dot of the little "i" to hearts on all my Word documents.

9. Will keep Donald Trump off the Internet for a while.

8. Hard drive is now REALLY hard.

7. After cybersex, you blurt out "hold me."

6. Immediately followed by the 'I Want a Divorce' virus.

5. Much uncomfortableness between same-sex coworkers everywhere....

4. Odd craving for a cigarette after downloading.

3. Cursor develops open sores along with a slow drip.

2. My best friend now thinks I'm gay.

1. Instead of just booting up your machine, you now have to engage in foreplay.
 
Top Ten Signs You Are Going To Die a Virgin

10. When you "Slip into something more comfortable," it's usually sweatpants.

9. Friday night means AOL night!!!

8. Mad rapist knocks you out of the way to get to Mother Theresa.

7. Prostitutes regularly pay you not to have sex with them.

6. You do not personally know Madonna.

5. Last diaphragm you bought was endorsed by Donna Summer.

4. People often say you bear a striking resemblance to Newt Gingrich.

3. Boyfriend dumped you for Chelsea Clinton.

2. Laid awake all last night, worried your name would show up on this list.

1. Often find yourself wondering, "Should there be cobwebs on my penis?"
 
I Got Some! -- But Ofcousre Dirty Ones, lol

Man walks into a bar and orders ten shots of Tequila. Bartender asks, "What's the occasion?". Man replies, It's my first blow job. Bartender say's, well congratulations have another on me. Man say's: NO THANKS, IF TEN WON'T TAKE THE TASTE AWAY NOTHING WILL!
_________________________________

A teenage girl came home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me?"

"What's that?" asks her mother.

"That babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?" said her daughter.

"Yes it is dear!" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and that she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.

"But then, when I have a baby," responded the teenager, "won't it knock my teeth out?"

Ok Thats Enough Dirty Jokes lmao, Im Not Postin No More Jack Might Delete Them, lol
 
ROFL LMFAO 😱 WAIT I SHOULD CLOSE MY MOUTH I WOULDN'T WANT TO GET PREGANT :X
 
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