Joke Of The Day!!!!hehehehe!!!!!

🤖 AI Summary

No AI summary has been generated for this thread yet.
This one's short and sweet!LOL!!!!!

What's up CF Crew:

Here's another one.......

A married couple goes to an art gallery where they see a picture of a nude woman with leaves covering her private parts. The wife doesn't like the picture and moves on, but the husband continues to stare at the picture.
The wife says, "What are you waiting for?"
The husband replies, "Autumn". LOL!!HEHEHE!!!!!

Peace!
Boriqua7😀
 
HERE YOU GO HAD TO MAKE UP FOR MON.

Angus Broon of Glasgow comes to the little lady of the
house exclaiming, "Maggie, cud ya be sewin on a wee
button that's come off of me fly? I canna button me
pants. "

"Oh Angus ... I've got me hands in the dishpan, go up
the stairs and see if Mrs. MacDonald could be helpin ya
with it."

About 5 minutes later there's a terrible crash, a bang,
a bit of yelling and the sound of a body falling doon
the stairs.

Walking back in the door with a blackend eye and a
bloody nose comes Angus. The little lady looks at him
and says, "My god, what happened to ya? Did you ask her
like I told you?"

"Aye," says Angus. "I asked her to sew on the wee button
an she did. Everything was goin fine but when she bent
doon to bite off the wee thread, Mr. MacDonald walked
in... "
 
Welcome back DOOS.LOL!!!!!!

That was a good one Doos:
I have a new one but I can't take credit for it....Blankita32 AKA Patty sent me this one....

Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court on Friday before the judge. The judge said, "You seem like nice young men,and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court on Monday."
Monday, the 2 guys were in court and the judge said to the 1st one, "How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, your Honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever." "17 people? That's wonderful! What did you tell them?" "I used a diagram, your Honor. I drew 2 circles like this: O o, and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs, and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs." "That's admirable!" said the judge. He turns to the 2nd boy and says, "How did you do?" "Well, your Honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever." "156 people! That's amazing!! How did you manage to do that?!?! "Well, I used a similar approach. I drew 2 circles....o O, and said (pointing to the small circle), 'This is your AS***** before prison............'"
LOL!!!HEHEHEHE!!!!
Boriqua7 via Blankita32😀
 
OMG, I forgot all about that joke.....lmao!!!!

Ya'll are loco!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Patty 😀
 
LMFAO......😛 THAT ONE WAS FUNNY HOLD UP ILL COME THROUGH
LET ME LOOK AT MY JOKE BOX
 
A gay guy walks into a barber shop.
He says to the barber.
"Sir how can I make hair grow on my chest?"
The barber replies, "Go home and put Vaseline on your chest real thick..."
That night the young man does as the barber told him.
His partner climbs into bed and reaches over to hold him and feels the slime on his chest,
he says, "What the hell is this?"
The other man replies, "The barber told me that if I put Vaseline on my chest hair would grow..."
His partner replies,
"You stupid son of a bitch, if that were the case you would have a damn pony tail hanging out of your ass."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

============================================
There are these two queers, named Syrel and Sessil, driving
happily along in their car. As they came to an intersection, they
stopped for the red light. All of a sudden a big semi-trailer comes
crunching through the back of their car!

Syrel and Sessil were really pissed! Syrel says to Sessil to get out
of the car to tell off the truck driver.

So Sessil gets out of the car and approaches the truck driver, who
apparently is one huge mother trucker (tattoos and all)!

"You bloody idiot! Look at what you've done to our beloved car!",
exclaims Sessil. "You're going to pay for this damage you know!"

"Suck my dick!", shouts the truck driver.

This prompted Sessil to go back to his car, to discuss the situation
with Syrel.

"I think he wants to settle out of court, Syrel."
 
What's up Doos!!!!

What's up Bro!
The vaseline joke was funny!LOL!!!HEHEHEHE!!! Take it easy on the foul language before Mr. Jack wipes this thread off the face of the earth. LOL!!!!(You know he will do without hesitation). Whenever I have a joke with curse words....I use the Asterisk.LOL!! Take it easy Bro! Peace!
Boriqua7😀
 
OOPS MY BAD I FORGOT TO CORRECT IT SORRY JACK BUT

HERES ANOTHER :

Stan was seconds away from receiving a vasectomy when his brother
and sister-in-law barged in holding their newborn baby. "Stop! You can't do this!"
exclaimed the brother. "And why not?" asked Stan. "Don't you want to have a beautiful baby
someday? Like my wife and I have here?" Stan said nothing. The brother grew impatient,
"C'mon Stan, I want a nephew. Stan, make me an uncle." Stan couldn't take it anymore.
He gave his sister-in-law an apologetic look and asked his brother,
"You're sure you want a nephew?"
"Yes," the brother replied. "It would be an honor."
"Well congratulations, you're holding him."
 
Ok, heres anotha from meeeeeeeeeeee....heeheehee...


A young boy comes down to breakfast one morning. His mother asks, "Have you done your chores yet?" "No," replies the boy, "but could I have breakfast first?"
"You know the rules, go outside and clean the chicken coop, milk the cow and feed the pigs."

The boy goes down to the chicken coop and lazily cleans it. When he is finished he kicks a chicken. Next, he walks to the barn and takes out the old milking cow. After milking her thoroughly, he kicks her. Then the boy gets the food and feeds the pigs. Once he is done, he kicks a pig.

Finally, the boy runs back to his house, very hungry. His mother gives him a plate with nothing on it but an apple. Disappointed, the boy says, "Where's my eggs, my milk and my sausage?"

"Well," says his mother, "I saw you kick a chicken, so now you don't get eggs. I saw you kick the cow, so now you don't get milk. I saw you kick the pig, so now you don't get any sausage."

Just then, the boy's father walks in and kicks the the cat. The boy says to his mother, "Should I tell him now, or do you want to?"


lololol. (takes a bow!!!!!)

😛
 
GOTTA GIVE IT

TO YOU BLANKITA32 THAT ONE WAS GOOD I HAVE THAT JOKE
LETS SEE WHAT I HAVE UNDER MY SLEEVE
 
HERE I COME

Bill walks into a bar and sees Ralph sitting at the end of the barcounter
with a great big smile on his face. Bill says "Ralph, what are you so happy for?"
"Well Bill, I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat,
and a redhead came up to me... tits out to here, Bill, tits out to here!
She says "Can I have a ride in your boat?" "I said 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.'
So I took her way out, Bill. I turned off the key and I said 'Its either screw or swim!'
She couldn't swim, Bill, she couldn't swim!!." The next day Bill walks into the bar
and sees Ralph sitting at the end of the bar counter with a bigger smile on his face.
Bill says "What are you so happy about today Ralph?"
"Well Bill... I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat
and a BEAUTIFUL blond came up to me... tits out to here, Bill, tits out to here!
She said 'Can I have a ride in your boat?' "Sure you can have a ride in my boat."
So I took her way out, Bill, way out much further than the last one.
I turned off the key and I said 'Its either screw or swim!' She couldn't swim!!,
Bill, she couldn't swim!!!!." A couple days pass and Bill walks into the bar
and sees Ralph down there cryin over a beer. Bill says "Ralph, what are you so sad for?"
"Well Bill, I gotta tell ya.... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat,
and the most desirable brunette came up to me... tits WAY out to here, Bill,
tits WAY out to here. I had more wood than my boat does.
She says "Can I have a ride in your boat?" "Sure you can have a ride in my boat. "
So I took her way out, Bill, way WAY out... much further than the last two.
I turned off the key, and looked at her tits and said 'Its either screw or swim!!'.
She pulled down her pants.... she had a dick, Bill !!! She had a great BIG d*ck!!!
And Bill, I CAN'T SWIM !!!"
 
Oh HELL Nooooooo! 😱

OMG...LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Doos, you got me man.......😱
 
A blind man and his guide dog enter a bar and find their way to a bar stool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender-"Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is a blonde, the bouncer is a blonde, and I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb. blonde with a black belt in karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde, and she's a pro wrestler Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, " Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

TOOOOOOOOMMMMAAAAAA'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top