1sxychica
New member
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2001
- Messages
- 15,375
- Reaction score
- 3
- Points
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Dear _____________:
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further
contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was
exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself
also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file
should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in
your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following
reason/(s) you were disqualified from the competition. (Check those that
apply...)
___Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating
it, or subjecting my children to it.
___Your first name is objectionable. It's just not something I can picture
myself yelling out in a fit of passion.
___The fact that our dining experiences to date has left MY wallet a little
lighter, and YOUR pants a little tighter!
___Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the truckload"
indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my
personality.
___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about
yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.
___Your legs are skinnier than mine.
___You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be beaten up
repeatedly at recess.
___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck condition from trying to
kiss you.
___I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.
___The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent
slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.
___The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.
___You still live with your parents.
___Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Star Trek
uniforms a little disconcerting.
___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect that
you are some sort of psychotic stalker.
___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am seeking in a
long-term partner.
___Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should however,
happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please resubmit your
application.
___Somehow I doubt those condoms I found in your overnight bag were really
necessary for a successful business trip.
___I am out of your league, set your sights lower next time.
Sincerely, ______________________
I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further
contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition was
exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself
also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file
should an opening become available. So that you may find better success in
your future romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following
reason/(s) you were disqualified from the competition. (Check those that
apply...)
___Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it, hyphenating
it, or subjecting my children to it.
___Your first name is objectionable. It's just not something I can picture
myself yelling out in a fit of passion.
___The fact that our dining experiences to date has left MY wallet a little
lighter, and YOUR pants a little tighter!
___Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the truckload"
indicates that you may be interested in me for something other than my
personality.
___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions about
yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.
___Your legs are skinnier than mine.
___You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be beaten up
repeatedly at recess.
___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck condition from trying to
kiss you.
___I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.
___The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent
slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.
___The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in conversation.
___You still live with your parents.
___Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Star Trek
uniforms a little disconcerting.
___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect that
you are some sort of psychotic stalker.
___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am seeking in a
long-term partner.
___Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should however,
happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please resubmit your
application.
___Somehow I doubt those condoms I found in your overnight bag were really
necessary for a successful business trip.
___I am out of your league, set your sights lower next time.
Sincerely, ______________________
