How Do You Deal With A Child Who

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Nyasia

Nyasia

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doesn't want to stay in school? how many times can you actually show them how bad it is in the streets without an education! How much trouble they will go through to get a good job! how being a minority in many places is already a stirke agains't you , then you gonna add to it by being a drop out!?

Can anyone give any good sound decent advice as too how you would handle that?
 
I wish I could. I can't even get my soon to study spelling words every night. lol
Maybe have people who have experienced the bad side of not finishing up school have a chat with them?
 
I'll tell you what my mom and dad did...

The topic came up when I was rebelling 😀 They took my ass for a ride downtown (where the homeless were staying ) and showed me what could happen to me if I quit school like I planned. Talk about scared straight! :crap

Don't know if it will help in this situation but it may be worth a try.
 
Krystal I have doen that ma, I have even gone as far as telling him that I am sending him to live with his dad who is in the army and have him put in Military school, but nothing seems to phase him at this point. And if ya know me by now, ya know I have no patience for bullshit like this, so it's very hard for me to deal with this diplomatiaclly. :angered I mean I have sat there and even spoken to the locas all together and told them about this when we were in NY, and apparently things haven't changed.
 
tell them all about what they will miss (prom, graduating w/ friends and reunions). i for one dropped out of hs (got my ged) and even though i had reasons (or thought so) i wish that i would have not . you miss out on so much fun and no matter what you do is a stage in your life that you missed and cant go back to. have them talk to people who never did finish hs
 
I did as well SN, and if it wasn't because I made it my point to educate myself after that I would have been workign in Bed Bath and Beyond a tthe age of 60! but I guess it's like when your a kid you don't think anything will go bad? but I don't know how else to make him see that for a better life you need a great education.
 
Well from experience because I do have an 18 yr old and an almost 20 yr old. There is really no advice you can give them that you haven't preached already. WE sound like "drill sargeants" to them. They may listen to what we're saying to not disrespect but it doesn't penetrate. My 2 oldest fuked up in H.S. It's bad enough they went to a much overcrowded HS here in the city and when I was at work, their asses were cutting! I busted one of them right here in my own house when I came home early from work because I wasn't feeling well. Oh boy, let me tell you thank god the neighbors were working. I went the hell off on him. He was COLD BUSTED and couldn't get out of that one! I called the school and requested all the absenteeism to compare to days that I was AWARE they were home because they had a valid excuse and I authorized for them to stay home. But those days that I found were cut days was their asses! I know they loved to play basketball after school, I didn't permit them to anymore. I wanted to see homework assignments. I went to school to meet with the Assistant principal on finding out information on alternative schools. To cut this story right here Naya, the oldest son finished HS in an alternative school by going to school at night and receiving his HS diploma. And my 18 yr old is now busting his ass in a GED program. I'm not happy with the GED thing but if that's what it takes so be it. My oldest son works and is now looking into enrolling in college and my 18 yr old will find a job also after the GED program, college or both.

It's very hard when it comes to teens who think that what we talk is "mierda" (shit). We want to see them become successful in whatever choices they make in life but the teens today are a lot more hardheaded then my generation. That's my opinion anyway.
 
you would think that our children would learn from us and see that what we went thru its what we dont want them to do.
 
exactly Sn, my point exactly 🙁 Thanks LaBetty.

I just want the best for my kids, the best the world has to offer,but bring a single mom doesnt' help matters either you know? cause I don't have the other half backing me up, his dad can tealk to him till he's blue, but what good is having a phone conversation? and especially if you haven't been around for the bigger part of his life.
 
Naya? Has he given you a reason for wanting to do this? Could it be that he's bored in class and needs more of a challenge to keep his interest?
 
Nyasia said:
exactly Sn, my point exactly 🙁 Thanks LaBetty.

I just want the best for my kids, the best the world has to offer,but bring a single mom doesnt' help matters either you know? cause I don't have the other half backing me up, his dad can tealk to him till he's blue, but what good is having a phone conversation? and especially if you haven't been around for the bigger part of his life.
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Just pray and have faith that he will make turn for the better on his own. 🙂 Because you're not doing anything wrong and he knows that.
 
he's hanging out with others who feel the same way, you know? and he says he hates school, that he hates the teachers, he is constantly mouthing off to them according to the principal who called me today and told me this! But i Have gone to meet with some of his teachers and they haven't told me any of this. And I hate not trusting him Krystal, it really makse me sick inside not being able to trust him now or what he tells me.
 
Nya, I am no expert on teens at all, But I do remember being one. My Mom gave up and all the decisions were left on me. I live with much regret about how I did things. Yeah they are better now but only because I had to bust my @ss SUPER hard for it. I remember being diffcult and hard to talk to. I wanted everything to be "My WaY" and if It didnt work out I didnt care. I really believe now that if my Mom didnt give up and was on top of me Like Betty said about her kids Things would be different.

Kids need someone to be strong and not give up and go to extrems sometimes to do what they have too. I dont know how U should go about it. Everyone is different when it comes to how much patience they have. But dont give up. Keep him home dont let him do anything if you have too. No TV, No calls. Nothing...Eventually he will give a little to get a little. I know that makes your Job all the more harder, But I guess that is 1 of the scarifices we take as a parent.
 
I hear you on the trust issue Naya. 🙁

Not being able to do that makes your job that much harder. As for him hanging out with others that think like this...ask him...are those boys gonna be around when he's struggling to make a life for himself? HELL NO! Cuz they're gonna be to busy with their own ish to care about him.
 
And it's especially hard when you have to work and then come home to cook, and do other things. Then you have to deal with the teen at home. It's a lot of pain and aggravation. But do hold your ground. He'll appreciate it later in life. Yes the friends have an amazing influence on them. And that's what makes it so much more difficult for us. what the friends say matters and what we say doesn't. Don't allow him any privileges. No matter what he says to you. Mine thought they were grown. Yeah alright! Grown living under my roof {ya' think?}
I told him that if he was so grown pay my almost $1000 rent every month. Buy the food. Pay the cable that's in their room. And pay the phone bill that they love to raise bullshitting all night with their very much influential friends! They both stayed quiet when I threw that in their faces! They were like 😱
 
Delisious said:
Thats right betty...SOunds like something I would do.
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Yes you have to wake them up to reality! Because they think it's all about mommy and/or daddy doing it for them always! Heeeeelllllll noooooooo! :nono
That shit doesn't work like that! And I let them see it. Now that my oldest son is working he has to contribute. And when he does, he complains. So the drama continues! I'm at another level.
 
take him on a tour of a prison and show him what can happen if he doesnt have a good education maybe that will scare some sense into him i know it did for me
 
o damn this is what I have to look forward too in a couple of years....🙁......I will enjoy these grade school yrs cause it lookslike I have alot comming ahead..lol
 
damn I keep getting Melissa22 and Melly 22 and Michelle28 all mixed up! which on of you is pregnant?..lol is it you Melly22?
 
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