His friends.........

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1sxychica

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Another dilemma, hahaha... I hope u guys don't think i complain too much. Just need ur word on this matter.

Anyhow, here goes....

My hun is like a social butterfly(bad wording, i know). He knows so many people sometimes it amazes me. We could be in a place out of town and he would know someone there....

SO there are a bunch of guys recently crossed his way. They all used to be high school buddies. So they all started hanging around each other A LOT lately, sometimes they hang out every day.

So the problem is.... I really really really don't like these guys. I mean this is how it goes with them when I'm around: they are talking about something they did back in high school and laugh about it (me having no clue) then they are talking about someone they all know (again, me having no clue), they also talk about some inside jokes and call things by nicknames (yes, me having no clue).

And now it seems to me that every time I call him he's over at this guys house. And everywhere we go out we seem to find them around. So basically i get no "time alone" with my own boyfriend.

So you say this is not a BIG problem, I can live with it. But I always believed that there must be something wrong in a relationship for a man to spend so much time with his friends, mind u... all of a sudden too, it happened withing the past month.

To me, everything is perfect in this relationship. No fights all love. So then what's up with this?

How do I tell him that I can't stand these guys and that I want him to spend time with me more. I can't just tell those guys to get out, cos I need time with my man, so I'm stuck listening to all this BS about their friends and these sexy girls they meet at the parties.

Another thing is that my boyfriend is sooooooooo different from them. They look like the kinda guys who don't take care of themselves, they looks like drop-outs, losers, idiots... listening to their conversations wants me wanna go puke. As you see, I really don't like these guys.

I ask him what happened to his old friends, he says nothing. THing is, I love his other guys he used to hang with, they're funny and considerate that I'm fairly new to the scene (been with him for 3.5yrs and they knew him for over 8yrs). SO they try not to make me feel isolated... unlike these losers.

Anyhow... damn this is long... I hope u get the idea....

I'm not asking u guys to agree with me.. i actually want to know if my thinking is wrong..... i want u to help me out before this leads to some kind of argument.

thanks a lot!!

*luv ya*
 
juss talk to him sit him and down and tell him how u feel bout it

but u got to understand he hasnt seen these guys in how long? probalby misses the good ol days

im sure if sum of ur old gurls came back in ur life ud want to spend time with them to right??

but the best way is to talk to him how u feel and hopefully he will understand how u feel.... but dun be a bitchy about it or anything

a nice calm quite talk should work..... 🙂

hope that helped hun
 
you know v,
you're thinking is kinda wrong... you've been w/ him for almost 4 years and sometimes you guys need to revert back to who you were and get back to basics...

true that he is chillin w/ his friends soo much you notice a difference, but you have to recognize that they have been there before you were... and he will realize the reason why he stopped chillin w/ them in due time.

just be patient boo...
 
WOW BEBE I THOUGHT I HAD MAD DRAMA IN MY LIFE.. LOL BUT I KNO HOW U FEEL BC I WENT TROUGH IT THAN IJUST HAD ENOUGH OF IT AND WENT ABOUT IT THE WRONG WAY!! SO HERE GOES WHEN HE IS OUT WITH THESE "LOSERS" AND HE INVITES U JUS SAY NO I DONT LIKE BEING AROUND THEM.. MAKING HINTS AND REMARKS MAKING IT CLEAR THA U DONT LIKE BEING AROUND THESE PEOPLE!! THAN SIT AND TALK TO HIM ABOUT TH SITUATION.. TELL HIM U FEEL U GUYS ARE PARTING ASK AND SEE WHA IS UP.. MAYBE HE JUS WANTS TO BE WITH HIS H/S FREINDS.. TALK TO HIM ABOUT THE SITUATION BEFORE IT GOES ANY FURTHER MAMA.. TELL HIMHOW U FEEL AND SEE WHA HE SAYS.. THAN COME RIGHT BAK HERE AND TELL US!! MMUAHZZZZZZZ GOODLUCK
 
k well i talked to him today...
we were at this cafe... and AGAIN this one guy pops up.. and we were having this really serious talk about just his future plans and all...

then this guy comes up and again starts talking. Doesn't he see that we were in the middle of something??? So then it was time for me to go home and on the way home I told my BF how i felt about this. He said that he never tells them where he is, that he never knew that this is how i felt.
I told him straight up that I don't feel comfortable around those people and that they look like tha kinda guys that would get him in trouble. Like he looks sooo much more mature than they are, and the things they talk about is like he's not like that...

so anyhow, he seems to understand where i'm coming from. I don't know how this will change anyhting.... but i'll see how it goes.

_________________

ANd guys thnx sooooo much for the reply.... I know i should have just talked to him before venting... but it gets to me sooo much that a guy i love is spending more time with his friends than me... I don't get to see him whenever I want to... so the only time i get, those few hours, i want to be alone just me and him, talk about things, u know.. cuddle or whatever, i don;t want some dudes popping up and disturbing.... i found it sooooo irritating today and i just remembred.. we didn't even finish our converstaion... GGRRRRR
 
WELL MAMA I CANT SAY THAT I WOULDNT BE PISSED OR SLIGHTLY UPSET, I THINK ITS MORE SO THAT YOUR QUALITY TIME IS BEING INTERUPTED RATHER THEN THE GUYS THEMSELVES. WHEN MEN GET AROUND OLD BUDDIES ITS ALL ABOUT CATCHING UP AND THESE GUYS MAY NOT TAKE NOTICE AS TO YOU BEING SO UNCOMFORTABLE BECAUSE THEY ARE PROB ALL SINGLE THEMSELVES, BUT MAMA YOU HAVE TO LET YOUR MAN KNOW HOW YOU FEEL WHATS THE POINT IF YOU ARENT GOING TO LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU FEEL YOUR TIME TOGETHER HAS BECOME LESS AND LESS AND RATHER THEN HAVE YOUR MAN PLAN ON WHERE YOU ARE GOING OT GO OR DO WHY DONT YOU MAKE THE PLANS SPRING THEM ON HIM LAST MINUTE SO YOU KNOW YOU WONT BUMP INTO ANY OF HIS FRIENDS. ALL IN ALL I THINK THE BEST THING FOR YOU TO DO IS TO COMMUNICATE THESE FEELINGS TO HIM RATHER THEN BE MADE TO FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE OR THAT YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO DEAL WITH IT SO SPEAK YOUR MIND MAMA 😀
 
thanks SexyAngel 🙂 ur right!

... i am trying my best to avoid any places they might be at .. and i'm letting him know how i feel little by little... cos i don't want him to feel as if i'm choosing for him who to be friends with.
 
Hey girl, I know I'm a little late, but don't demand that he stop seeing them. If they haven't got him into trouble yet that will only remind him that a LTR is like having a mother (which is what these guys are probably telling him if they aren't in one!) and will push him away. Make sure he make more time for you than for them, that's what you deserve. There is a reason they stopped hangin out with eachother in the first place. I don't know what it is, but it might solve the situation itself. But when you are around, LISTEN to what signals these other guys are giving. Not including you, talking about hookin up or insinuating that HE should be more like them are BAD signs! If this is happening speak up, loud and clear! My guy of 3 years left me after talking with his "boy" on the phone a lot for like a month about his (his friend) 21st b-day. This guy isn't his "boy" either. When we moved from Chicago he didn't even stop by to say bye or anything AND he tried to kick it with me when we all went on vacation together while my man was sleeping right next to me (I told my man too!). I don't even know if this makes sense but, I hope it helps!!!

Good luck!!!
 
shany thanks a bunch for ur reply.

THing is peeps, these guys live close to one another. I asked my BF what is it that brought them back together and he said cars.. they all have similar cars. And I found out that then he drops me off at home they all together go "cruise". CRUISE?!!?! WHY! This is what sets me off.. guys go cruise to pick up girls, and all his friends are single, and he has the best looking car out of all of them, which means he gets most attention...

U see why I don't like these guys? They have girls for one reason only, and so basically they're always single... so what does my man gotta do with them? They share nothing in common, except for cars. And more than that, he started swearing (not at me) after starting to hang with them. I hate people who swear afrer like every word, and that's how these guys are. ANd now I notice my bebe swears here and there... they're NOTHING BUT BAD INFLUENCE... :sosad
 
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