Children's Behavior.

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Dave G>

Dave G>

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OK! The idea was brought to me because I deal with children with behavioral issues. I'm not a licensed Social worker, but my experience speaks for it self. I can help, but I can't do it for you! Unless you wanna be my baby mama! Just kidding!
How can I help you with your chilren?
 
:typing I hope this thread doesn't get earased. Get back to you on this tomorrow morning. sorry.

How do you handle a kid with a tantrum in a public store. Say the supermarket line before thanksgiving day.
 
freestylemeya said:
What do you do when a 5 year old child constantly cries about everything? He not only whines but he cries all the time!
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My daughter is the same way, but she is 3. First off, you have to not give in when your child cries if he did not get his way. Stick to your decision, it's hard to hear them cry and they'll do it for a while, but eventually he will learn, as he gets older, that he can't always get his way. Now if you give in every time he cries, then that tells him, when he cries, mommy will give in and I will get my way. Some times when he cries, you could also bring his attention to something else and go down to his level (mentally). This can change his mood and maybe he'll forget about what he didn't get for a little while. Or compramise with him depending on the situation. :silly
 
aim4night said:
cause i dont want to air it on cf. but nm.
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NO! I was asking why would they erase this. You could e-mail me, do you have my e-mail?
 
o i thought the comment was for me cause you posted it after my post. lol.
 
what can i do for my daughter who is feeling the rejection of her father...i know that i shouldn't talk bad about him in front of her but he has broken so many promises to her..i'm afraid that she will grow up either hating men or grow up searching for their acceptance?...i guess my question is what can i do to make sure she knows that this is not her fault at all and that she can count on me for anything and everything?
oh, and i've been noticing that when i have any male friends she gets a bit jealous and acts out by giving me attitude, so what can i do...or should i seek professional help?

oh and she's 10 years old..if that helps.
 
my son has adhd and the meds are working great!!!!! no questions... just had to add that! :whistle :spin
 
I'm not a specialist in Behavior, but I work for the Department of Youth Services and I deal with a lot of different cases ranging from Youth Sex Offenders, and kids that are basically in programs because of certain criminal acts that they have committed. We deal with children ages 10-18, male and female. You wouldn't believe the cases I see on a daily basis, however, situations like Kitty's can get ugly and become a problem for your daughter, as well as yourself. I'm not a parent, and I will probably never be one, but you pick up on things in society, put them all together, and you have yourself a educated conclusion.

The first step would be to TALK to your daughter so that she is aware of the situation between her and her father. That's the primary thing to do. If he keeps breaking these engagements, maybe it's time you cut him off, or you let her choose what she wants. She shouldn't feel obliged to see her father, nor should he be able to see her if he can't commit to dates, etc. That's the problem right there- he's not involved enough and YOU need to tell him that. If he can't be a father, then he isn't a man in my eyes.

Second thing, DON'T bring men over to your house while she's there. How do you think it feels for her to see these men? She must think that you are trying to replace her father by putting another man in his place. She's too young to understand, therefore there shouldn't be any men in the home. Not until you have taken care of Step 1 should you gradually have a male "friend" over for dinner. It can be very traumatizing to a child, and you don't want her to have to depend on any man! There's nothing a man can do that a woman can't do for herself.

Professional help? No. She's 10, this is normal. It can become a potential problem by like 13, 14, and 15 if you don't attack the problem now. And trust me, I've seen cases where kids in their early teens are turning to drugs of all sorts, damaging property, running away from home, and assaulting their parents, teachers, and their peers. It's very sad, and I'm sure being a parent isn't easy, but it's a lot harder when you have to deal with a walking time-bomb.
 
cArLiToS WaY said:
If you don't mind my asking, what medications is he on?
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WELL HE STARTED OUT ON CONCERTA( THAT WASNT WORKING TOO WELL) SO NOW HE IS ON 20MG OF ALLTERA. I THINK THATS HOW YOU SPELL IT? HE WAS DOING SO BAD LAST YEAR-SCHOOL WISE- AND BEHAVORIAL TOO. HE IS NOW REALLY FEELING GOOD ABOUT HIMSELF AND DOING GOOD IN SCHOOL. 🙂
 
ROXYGURL said:
WELL HE STARTED OUT ON CONCERTA( THAT WASNT WORKING TOO WELL) SO NOW HE IS ON 20MG OF ALLTERA. I THINK THATS HOW YOU SPELL IT? HE WAS DOING SO BAD LAST YEAR-SCHOOL WISE- AND BEHAVORIAL TOO. HE IS NOW REALLY FEELING GOOD ABOUT HIMSELF AND DOING GOOD IN SCHOOL. 🙂
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That's amazing. I'm glad to hear. A lot of the kids with ADHD, ADD, etc. usually have to take so many different kinds of medications before they find the right one/s that actually do work. I saw a case not too long ago where the poor child was on like 6 or 7 types of medication and it really disturbed me. I have always questioned the usage of these drugs with such young, gradually-growing minds. This isn't the case for everyone, but I just feel like there should be an alternative to these drugs. I'm curious to know what the long-term effects are.
 
Thank you Carlitos, I have talked to my daughter about the situation with her father and I have cut him off and told him that if he's going to break commitments and promises then i don't want him around, however, she will ask for him every once in a while and will want to look for him...so I help her find him...he acts like he's happy to see her but it's during those times that he'll promise to call her or send her something in the mail and he doesn't...i've taken the time to send her little cards reminding her that i love her....that way when she's waiting for something to come for her in the mail she'll get something from me...about the male friends....i agree that i have to be careful who i bring around the house and i don't bring around just any random guy...but i would like to be able to find love again and get married one day, i just hope that she will react positively to it....
 
Kitty- You're very welcome. You seem like a sweet person, and an awesome mom. 🙂 Just do what you feel is right, and what's right for your daughter. As for falling in love again, well, anything and everything is possible and he will take a liking to your motherly instincts.
 
kitty said:
what can i do for my daughter who is feeling the rejection of her father...i know that i shouldn't talk bad about him in front of her but he has broken so many promises to her..i'm afraid that she will grow up either hating men or grow up searching for their acceptance?...i guess my question is what can i do to make sure she knows that this is not her fault at all and that she can count on me for anything and everything?
oh, and i've been noticing that when i have any male friends she gets a bit jealous and acts out by giving me attitude, so what can i do...or should i seek professional help?

oh and she's 10 years old..if that helps.
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Does her father have visitation through the courts? If so, you can either try to make him see her more or have his visitation supervised that was their is a third party to witness his lack of being a father.
If not, You have to be honest to your daughter about the situation and let her know that her father does love her. You might want to let your daughter know that in life there are going to be dissapointments and teach her how to handle them in an appropriate way.

Your daughter will get jealous when male friends are around because they are not her father and she will try to take you from them. She might be use to just having you around and it's your responsibility to treat your daughter no different than any other time.

You do not need to seek professional help, that will only confuse her more. If she is physically and verbally aggressive to you and others, then you might want to. :sunshine
 
Carlitos way is also right, I think he had some good advice too. That's what this is about. :fkinaman
 
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