LATINAHEAT
New member
>
>Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the
>words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the
>testimonials of a few people who did ...
>
> _______________________
>
> I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
>and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow
>job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back.. My
>husband didn't say a word ... he knew better.
> _________________________
>
> I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I
>was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for
>several minutes, I was
>approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
>He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him
>squarely and said, "I suppose you can ... I think I like playing with
>men's balls." ___________________________
>
> My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
>variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the
>boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm
>just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the
>boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. Until this day, my
>sister has never let me forget. ______________________
>
> While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
>release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab
>hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other
>patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she
>would be punished. To my horror, she looked me straight in the eye and
>said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now,
>I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
> The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the
>Tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my
>dignity and Walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last
>thing I heard when the Door closed behind me were screams of laughter.
>________________________
>
> Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
>three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was
>on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in
>between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While
>Enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my
>seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny
>had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go,
>And he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an
>accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny,
>are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW
>that he must
>have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I
>asked one more time, "Now Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he
>jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and
>yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!" While 30 people nearly choked to
>death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat
>down. An old couple made me feel Better by thanking me for the best
>laugh they'd had in months!
> ______________________
>
> This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for two days and a
>Very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, most Likely
>think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't
>get any ... a true story!
> We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to
>have snowed, and it didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So
>Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only
>did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, as they were
>laughing so hard!
>Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the
>words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the
>testimonials of a few people who did ...
>
> _______________________
>
> I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
>and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow
>job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back.. My
>husband didn't say a word ... he knew better.
> _________________________
>
> I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I
>was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for
>several minutes, I was
>approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
>He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him
>squarely and said, "I suppose you can ... I think I like playing with
>men's balls." ___________________________
>
> My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
>variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the
>boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm
>just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the
>boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. Until this day, my
>sister has never let me forget. ______________________
>
> While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
>release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab
>hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other
>patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she
>would be punished. To my horror, she looked me straight in the eye and
>said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now,
>I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
> The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the
>Tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my
>dignity and Walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last
>thing I heard when the Door closed behind me were screams of laughter.
>________________________
>
> Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
>three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was
>on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in
>between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While
>Enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my
>seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny
>had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go,
>And he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an
>accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny,
>are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW
>that he must
>have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I
>asked one more time, "Now Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he
>jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and
>yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!" While 30 people nearly choked to
>death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat
>down. An old couple made me feel Better by thanking me for the best
>laugh they'd had in months!
> ______________________
>
> This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for two days and a
>Very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, most Likely
>think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't
>get any ... a true story!
> We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to
>have snowed, and it didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So
>Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only
>did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, as they were
>laughing so hard!
