™FR3ESTYLEKING'S OFFICIAL JOKEBOOK

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`Life's Reflections`

1. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

2. I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

3. Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

4. Ever notice that anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

5. You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is.

6. I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

7. Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.

8. I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
 
BIG BOSS MAN

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.
The brain said, "I should be boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."

The hands said, "We should be the boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."

And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs, and the eyes until finally the a*****e spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the a*****e being the Boss. So the a*****e went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the a*****e should be the boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Moral of the story: You don't need brains to be a boss - any a*****e will do.

😛
 
!!OMG!!

Oh My God!

There were three nuns talking and one nun said, "I was cleaning the priest's chamber, and I found some Playboy magazines under his pillow, so I burned them." The nuns looked at each other

and the next one said, "That's nothing, I found a box of condoms in his drawer, so I poked little holes in them with a nail."

The third nun suddenly jumped out of her seat and said,
"Oh my god! I got to go."

😛
 
😱 LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
 
.::SEXY TIMEPIECE::.

A man is sitting at a bar one night, wearing a fancy new watch, covered with buttons and lights and dials. The woman next to him says, "Wow, that's a really fancy watch."
Thanks, says the guy, "It's the cutting edge of technology. I can telepathically ask this watch anything I want to know, and it'll answer me, telepathically."

"Rubbish," says the girl.

"No, it's true," says that guy. "Look, tell you what, I'll prove it. I'll ask it if you've got any panties on."

The guy scrunches up his eyes for a moment, as if concentrating hard to talk to his watch, then opens them and says, "Nope, it says you haven't got any panties on."

"Well, it's wrong," says the girl, "I do have panties on."

"Damn," says the guy, slapping his watch, "it's an hour fast!"

😱
 
not me! I always knew.lololol you can't live that restricted all your life!.lolol
 
LMAO!!!!!!! :spin

13.) Consumption of alcohol may make you dial the wrong number and have you talkin to whoever answers for like ten minutes and then saying "Ummm who is this?"

=X
 
LMAO Bawk Bawk! I had to *ADD ON* cuz thats what happened to me on Saturday night! 😱

I thought I was calling my friend in Cali and ended up calling my cousin in NY! :stoned It was funny as hell! LMAO!!!
 
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