™FR3ESTYLEKING'S OFFICIAL JOKEBOOK

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*look into my eyes and tell me what u see... promises been broken now that u something something...* lol


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* i have a feeling that i'm sleep walking.... hmmm why's that....*
 
EZE that was classic...

"Punani More Stinkie??"
I fell off my seat in tears on that one..

I always thought it was...

Pretty Mean & Scary!
 
OKAY IF YOU HAVE AUNT FLO STOP BY AND VISIT AND IT SMELL GIRLS RUNNNNNNNN TO THE DOCTOR THERE IS SOMETHING SEVERLY WRONG. TAKE CARE OF IT AND PLEASE CHANGE YOUR PAD FREQUENTLY. THANK YOU LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
 
LMFAO

Q: What do you call a 400 lb. woman who likes to have sex with men and women at the same time?

A: A bisexual built for two.

__________________
Q: What's the definition of gross?

A: When you go down on a pregnant woman and something grabs your tongue.

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Q: What do you do when a Pakistani throws a hand grenade at you?

A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Q: What do you do when a Pakistani throws a pin at you?

A: Run like crazy...he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

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Q: Why did the deviate cross the road?

A: He couldn't get his prick out of the chicken

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Q: What do SPARE RIBS, BUFFALO WINGS, KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN, FROG LEGS & 'SEX' ALL HAVE IN COMMON ????

A: HEY-- THEY'RE ALL "FINGER-LICKIN'-GOOD"

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Q: What's the difference between a Jewish woman and a bowl of jello?

A: A bowl of jello wiggles when you eat it.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A: A readheaded bitch with a yeast infection.

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Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?

A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

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Little Johnny and his pal Billy were walking in the park when they
passed three ladies eating bananas on a bench. "Howdy ladies," Little Johnny said as he passed three women.

"Do you know them?" Billy asked.

"No," Little Johnny replied, "I've never met the nun, the prostitute or the bride we just passed."

"How in the world did you know all that about them ladies?" asked Billy.

"That's easy. The nun ate the banana by holding it one hand and used the fingers of the other hand to properly break the fruit into small
pieces."

"The prostitute," he continued, "grabbed the banana with both hands and crammed the whole thing into her mouth."

"That's pretty impressive!" Billy exclaimed. "But how did you know the third was a newlywed?"

"Oh, that was the easiest," explained Little Johnny, "She was the one
who held the banana with one hand and pushed her head toward it with the other."

__________________
I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next month. My fiance's mother is great. She is putting the entire wedding together and invited me to her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a bit beyond what we had expected it to be.

When I got to her place we reviewed the list and trimmed it down to just under a hundred... then she floored me. She said that in a month I would be a married man and that before that happened, she wanted to have sex with me. Then she just stood up and walked to her bedroom and on her way said that I knew where the door was if I wanted to leave.

I stood there and finally decided that I knew how to deal with this
situation. I headed out the front door...

There, leaning against my car was her husband, my soon-to-be
father-in-law. He was smiling. He explained that they just wanted to be sure I was a good kid and would be true to their little girl. I shook his hand and he congratulated me on passing their little test. I kept it to myself that I thought their "little test" was bullshit, but I'm marrying their daughter, not them.

I also kept to myself that the reason that I was walking out to my car was to get a condom.

_NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE_
Signs that You Might be Gay:

1.) You own moisturizer that has to be bought at a cosmetics counter.

2.) You get offended &/or turned on by the word "Fruit Loops."

3.) Your fantasies include prison showers and dropped soap.

4.) Anyone mentions "The Village People" and you think of your neighbors.

5.) Your friends want to kill Richard Simmons. You'd rather spank him.

6.) You're best friends with the girl you took to your high school prom.

7.) You know over 10 people named Bruce.

8.) You think Pamela Anderson dresses nice.

9.) You dress like Liberace on casual Fridays.

10.) Your idea of "getting lucky" on the weekend is finding Ralph Lauren sheets on sale.

11.) You start to cry when your boss says you can't have the day off for your birthday.

12.) That's NOT a milk mustache you're sporting.

13.) You don't know the score of the game last night, but you do remember that the players had some of the roundest butts you've ever seen.

14.) You aren't insulted when called a 'cheap slut'

15.) When someone asks you if you're a pitcher or a catcher, your first thought isn't about baseball.

16.) When you see a handsome police officer following you on the highway, you speed up instead of slowing down.

17.) You've wondered if batman and Robin share a bedroom.

18.) You noticed that Ricky Martin shaved his chest for his last video.

19.) You're the one everyone turns to when they need someone to plan a surprise party.

20.) You can recite the next line of the following song: "The minute you walked in the joint, I could see you were a man of distinction."

21.) When viewing straight porn videos you watch the women give head and think, They're not doing that right.

__________________
A bum wanders into a diner looking for a bite to eat. He sits at the
counter, next to another guy sitting there reading the paper. The bum
orders a bowl of soup and eats it.

Upon finishing, he's still pretty hungry. He notices the gent reading
the paper has a bowl of chili in front of him, which he apparently
hasn't touched and which is growing cold.

"Say pal - you gonna eat that?" he asks.

"Nope - help yourself," the paper reading dude replies.

"Thanks!" The bum chows down, and just as he's reaching the bottom of
the bowl he finds a dead mouse laying under the chili. He immediately
chucks it all back up and directly into the bowl.

His neighbor looks at him sympathetically and says, "Same thing happened to me."

😀 :nutz 😛
 
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