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Freestygal

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I would really love everyone's opinions on something that Ive been going through. I hope Im posting this in the right forum. There is this guy that I know for a long time. We had immediate chemistry and there was a lot of flirting going on. I was hoping for something to come of it but eventually I found out he was involved. However, we still maintained a friendship and even a little flirtation...even though I never let things go too far (although he wanted it to). This all went on awhile ago. But now when I see him he is like a different person. He used to look at me like I was special to him and now he basically ignores me. I havent asked him whats going on but I just dont get it. Any opinions? I guess people really change sometimes. But it hurts me when I think of how things used to be compared to how they are now. Thanks.

Randi (FreestyleGal)
 
Well I guess u had to be in my shoes to understand Pete. I know him for a long time, quite a few things went on between us. It's not like we just met, he flirted, and then that was it.

Randi (FreestyleGal)
 
we have no or little control over other people and what they do...especially if he's involved with someone else, it wouldn't be wise for you to involve yourself also because in the end you might get hurt. it seems that since he didn't get what he wanted from you, he decided to keep his distance...idunno this is just my perspective on the info you gave... if he had wanted to maintain a good relationship with you, then he would have been honest from the very start... but if you feel that you need to know what's going on, then ask him...
 
His Old Lady must know about you and feel threatened....scared you will take him from her in time...falling in love isnt always intentional.....she told him to back off and how would he feel if she had a "MALE" close freind that was attrative and spent alot of time togeather.....HOOllLLLLAAAAAA!!!!! Damn Im Good...JK
 
Tempest..I think u really hit it on the head and I have been thinking the same way about this. I do hope I get the opportunity to ask him someday because right now Im really in the dark. Although I guess some things are just not always meant to be..including friendships.

Galvatron..Im not so sure his wife ever found out. But it could be that he decided to be faithful and let things go with me. However, he should have thought more about other people's feelings before he even started with me. He has no idea just how hurt I am.

Randi (FreestyleGal)
 
ahh his wife...now that's different.... makes everything more complicated .. most of the time, men who flirt or have other relationships while married usually go back to their wife and the other woman is usually the one that's hurt and upset... he has a wife and he's flirting with someone else..now what does that say about him and how does that look...if it's an innocent relationship then that's understandable...but don't break your heart over this guy..just take it as a lesson and look for someone that will focus on only You instead of complicating your life and someone else's....
 
Freestygal said:
Tempest..I think u really hit it on the head and I have been thinking the same way about this. I do hope I get the opportunity to ask him someday because right now Im really in the dark. Although I guess some things are just not always meant to be..including friendships.

Galvatron..Im not so sure his wife ever found out. But it could be that he decided to be faithful and let things go with me. However, he should have thought more about other people's feelings before he even started with me. He has no idea just how hurt I am.

Randi (FreestyleGal)
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Oh He was Married? Then why did you even get your hopes up in the 1st place? Were you hoping he would leave her for you? Were you willing to fool around with him if he made a move....If you knew he was married it should have been CASE CLOSED. INVOLVED and MARRIED are 2 differnt things. its your bad ..not his

Ladies stay away from married men....Fellas do the same....What would you want your Future / present Husband or Wife to do .....COMMON SENCE. SORRY...
 
I'm gonna have to say that when he realized he wasn't gonna get what he wanted...that's when he backed off.

But I must ask this cuz it always boggles my mind...if you knew he was married...why flirt with him or whatever? Why set yourself up for that kind of hurt? Makes NO sense to me whatsoever no matter how strong the attraction is. *shakin head*
 
GALVATRON said:
Oh He was Married? Then why did you even get your hopes up in the 1st place? Were you hoping he would leave her for you? Were you willing to fool around with him if he made a move....If you knew he was married it should have been CASE CLOSED. INVOLVED and MARRIED are 2 differnt things. its your bad ..not his

Ladies stay away from married men....Fellas do the same....What would you want your Future / present Husband or Wife to do .....COMMON SENCE. SORRY...
Click to expand...


ditto. personally the first thing i try to find out is if the guy is involved with someone and if he is it's nevergonnahappen don'tcrossmypathagain and goodbye...and he may lie, but there's just somethings you'll know that he's lying...just steer clear of people who are already in a relationship...you wouldn't want someone to mess with your life so it's just not right to do that to someone else even if he likes You and doesn't want to be with his wife...as long as he's still married or with someone else it's best you let it go and let him go.
 
Tempest Aria said:
it seems that since he didn't get what he wanted from you, he decided to keep his distance.
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I got the same impression Tempest. He thought that perhaps you would be a booty call, and when you didn't comply, he moved on. It's a crappy thing to do.
 
GALVATRON said:
INVOLVED and MARRIED are 2 differnt things. its your bad ..not his
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Well Galvatron, I can't say I agree with the last part of your statement. Re-read what Freeestygal said.....


Freestygal said:
There is this guy that I know for a long time. We had immediate chemistry and there was a lot of flirting going on. I was hoping for something to come of it but eventually I found out he was involved.
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She never said that SHE was flirting with him, she said there was "a lot" of flirting going on. That says to me that it wax coming from both parties. She also said she eventually found out he was involved, which means that while he was flirting with her, he hadn't come forward with the info right away, so he gave her the impression that he was available. That leads me to believe it's HIS bad, not HERS.
 
Girl, I Know It Bothersome To Have Someone Who You Thought Was Interested In You Or Were At Least Cool With You Just Do A Complete Turn Around But It Does Sound Like He Taught You Were Gonna Be A Quick Hit And When You Wasnt He Just Let It Go. Take It From Let It Go, Nothing Will Come Out Of It If You Pursue It.
 
Reply To Chuck D...You Know we cool chuck but peep game.

So Its not YOUR Bad For falling for a married person...lol C'mon now.....The Avverage person MOVES ON*******Ive had crushes and thoght many people that were taken are cute.....But It stops there. The thought goes as quick as it comes...😉
 
Galvatron, I See Where Your Coming From But If You Read What She Wrote, She Didnt Know He Was Married When All Of This Flirting Was Going On. Like I Said Just Let It Go Because Its Not Worth It.
And On Another Note, We Are Not Able To Choose Who We Fall For, If That Was The Case Then No One Would Have A Broken Heart. I Believe The Key Is When And How To Just Let Things Go.
 
Ok I just read all of this and let me make myself clear. I DID NOT know he was married when I met him. When he finally admitted it to me, I had already developed strong feelings for him. However, when he asked me to sleep with him, I turned him down because Im not the type of person to sleep with a married man. And even after I turned him down we were still friends. What I am trying to figure out is why he doesnt even want to be friends with me at this point.

La Mas Grande...you are so right...sometimes we cannot choose who we fall for. If you had told me yrs ago before I met him, that I would fall for someone like him, I would have laughed. But sometimes things just happen...that's life.


Galvatron..Let me just say that he initiated this whole thing, not me. I fell for him because of how he treated me. And let me tell you, if I knew he was married from the start, I would never have allowed myself to let things get even as far as they did. But were u saying that all of this was my fault and not his?? HE is the one that's married, not me. He should have refrained from the start and been smarter about things. I was in the dark and just acting on my feelings...esp. when i thought he felt the same way.

Chuck..thanks for saying the opposite lol You got it right.

Anyway, thank you all for your insight. I have been trying to be strong about this whole thing and I think Ive been doing the right thing. I guess Im just trying to figure out how people can change so easily. Im always consistent in my actions towards people. But I guess liek Expose said..."Seasons change...People change".

Randi (FreestyleGal)
 
Freestygal said:
What I am trying to figure out is why he doesnt even want to be friends with me at this point.
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There could be a few different reasons:

He didn't expect the feeling to develope, and now he feels awkward.

He was expecting you to have an affair with him, and when that didn't happen, he walked away.

He is afraid you will say something to his wife, and is keeping his distance.
 
Randi, Sweety I Know What You Mean. All That Is Left If For You To Move On. I Know Easier Said Then Done But Its Still Something That Has To Be Done.
Good Luck Sweetie

🙂
 
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