HERES ONE I THINK MOST OF THE OLDER CF'RS WILL
LIKE & RELATE TO! ENJOY!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I was a kid adults used to bore me to tears with their
TEDIOUS DIATRIBES about how hard things were when they were
GROWING UP;
~What with Walking Twenty-Five Miles to School every morning UPHILL
BOTH WAYS through YEAR 'ROUND BLIZZARDS Carrying their younger
SIBLINGS On their backs to their ONE-ROOM SCHOOLHOUSE where they
maintained a Straight-A Average despite their Full-Time AFTER-SCHOOL
JOB at the local TEXTILE MILL where they worked for 35 cents an hour
just to help keep their family from Starving to death!~
~And I remember promising myself that when I grew up
THERE WAS NO WAY IN HELL, I was going to lay a bunch of CRAP like
that on kids about how Hard I had it and how Easy they've got it!~
...But....
Now that I've reached the ripe old age of twenty-nine, I can't help
but, look around and notice the Youth Of Today...
....You've got it so Easy!!!I mean..... compared to my
childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you
kids today you don't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet --we wanted to
know something, we had to go to the goddamned Library and look it
up ourselves! And there was no email! We had to Actually Write
Somebody A Letter -- with a Pen! --and then you had to walk all
the way across the street and Put It In The Mailbox And it
would take like a Week To Get There!
And there were no MP3s or Napsters! You wanted to steal MUSIC,
you had to go to the Damn Record Store and Shoplift It Yourself!
Or we had to wait around all day to Tape it off the Radio and
the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and f@#* it all up!
You want to hear about hardship? You couldn't just download porn!
You had to Bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy
of "Hustler" at the 7-11!
Those were your options!
We didn't have fancy shit like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone
and somebody else called they got a busy signal! We didn't
have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the the phone rang, you had
NO IDEA WHO IT WAS[/I], it could be your boss, your mom, a
collections agent, your drug dealer, you didn't know!!! You just had
to PICK IT UP and TAKE YOUR CHANCES, MISTER!!
And we didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation videogames with
high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With
games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the graphics sucked
ass! Your guy was a little square! You had to use your imagination!
And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one
screen forever! And you could never win,the game just kept
getting harder and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium
seating! All the seats were the same height! A tall guy sat in
front of you, you were screwed!
And sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only
like 20 channels and there was no onscreen menu! You
had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what
was on! And there was no Cartoon Network! You could only get
cartoons on Saturday morning... ...D'ya hear what I'm
saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK, you spoiled little bastards!
That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it
TOO EASY. You're Spoiled, I swear to God!!! You guys
wouldn't lasted 5 minutes back in 1984!
LIKE & RELATE TO! ENJOY!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I was a kid adults used to bore me to tears with their
TEDIOUS DIATRIBES about how hard things were when they were
GROWING UP;
~What with Walking Twenty-Five Miles to School every morning UPHILL
BOTH WAYS through YEAR 'ROUND BLIZZARDS Carrying their younger
SIBLINGS On their backs to their ONE-ROOM SCHOOLHOUSE where they
maintained a Straight-A Average despite their Full-Time AFTER-SCHOOL
JOB at the local TEXTILE MILL where they worked for 35 cents an hour
just to help keep their family from Starving to death!~
~And I remember promising myself that when I grew up
THERE WAS NO WAY IN HELL, I was going to lay a bunch of CRAP like
that on kids about how Hard I had it and how Easy they've got it!~
...But....
Now that I've reached the ripe old age of twenty-nine, I can't help
but, look around and notice the Youth Of Today...
....You've got it so Easy!!!I mean..... compared to my
childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you
kids today you don't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet --we wanted to
know something, we had to go to the goddamned Library and look it
up ourselves! And there was no email! We had to Actually Write
Somebody A Letter -- with a Pen! --and then you had to walk all
the way across the street and Put It In The Mailbox And it
would take like a Week To Get There!
And there were no MP3s or Napsters! You wanted to steal MUSIC,
you had to go to the Damn Record Store and Shoplift It Yourself!
Or we had to wait around all day to Tape it off the Radio and
the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and f@#* it all up!
You want to hear about hardship? You couldn't just download porn!
You had to Bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy
of "Hustler" at the 7-11!
Those were your options!
We didn't have fancy shit like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone
and somebody else called they got a busy signal! We didn't
have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the the phone rang, you had
NO IDEA WHO IT WAS[/I], it could be your boss, your mom, a
collections agent, your drug dealer, you didn't know!!! You just had
to PICK IT UP and TAKE YOUR CHANCES, MISTER!!
And we didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation videogames with
high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With
games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the graphics sucked
ass! Your guy was a little square! You had to use your imagination!
And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one
screen forever! And you could never win,the game just kept
getting harder and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium
seating! All the seats were the same height! A tall guy sat in
front of you, you were screwed!
And sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only
like 20 channels and there was no onscreen menu! You
had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what
was on! And there was no Cartoon Network! You could only get
cartoons on Saturday morning... ...D'ya hear what I'm
saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK, you spoiled little bastards!
That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it
TOO EASY. You're Spoiled, I swear to God!!! You guys
wouldn't lasted 5 minutes back in 1984!
