why is it so hard to find the right one?

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tonyalso7

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here i am all alone in my apartment.becuase,i dont want to
call this girl im talking too.were playing this game of cat and mouse,i met her 1 month ago she has 3 kids,enough kids to start her own community.lol.all jokes aside,ive been really trying to know her,but it seems she is a little too insecure to be in a relationship with someone right now.one minute she tells me i want to try to take you serious,the next minute she is like im not trying
to have any compromises ,i want to feel free go to places and not have anyone on my back telling me i cant go out.we are suppose to be freinds im cool with that but when i go to the club to meet up with her it seems she was testing me to see how i act in the clubs.well as i walk in she isnt there till about an hour later,she shows up.i say hello to her she smiles at me with that funny looking grin on her face.she is socializing getting her drink on.she tells me you can dance with anybody,and i smiled and told her i know.so we start dancing with other people,then she sees me talking to a girl i know,i didnt mind it though.i felt it was an advantage for me.so we finally dance and i tell her about time they play some good music,then she snaps and said what do you mean about time,you was the one talking to that girl.so right there i figure she is insecure,but why is she playing this game in the first place.so i decide to buy her a drink,she already had one in her hand when i was handing her the drink i bought for her.then she snaps and asked are you trying to get me drunk?i smiled and told her no i respect you,i just wanted to buy you a drink,then she ask me do you want to take me home?i smiled and said yes ill take you home if you dont have a ride she said i do.then i said i respect you and she said you better respect me,with a smile.then i smiled and said i respect you but if you want me too take you home ill do it.i was being sarcastic when i said that.then i told her ill talk to you later then she said becareful im watchng you.i told her you are not my girlfreind.and she told me im just kidding.so i walk away from her and keep playing this game of dancing with other people,i couldnt take it no more so i left the club and went home.i stopped calling her like 4 days ago,she tried calling me on thursday,but i havent called her back,because she is not serious,does anybody in here have an idea of what should i do?let me know i would appreciate this.im just trying to find a good woman that doesnt play games.tell me what you guys think?
sincerely
tony also :crap
 
coros girl thats a good question.no i havent sat down and talked to her about it.im going to do that,but she would have to call me up first so i can set the record straight.i know it sounds like im playing games too.but i only give the person what they decide to give me.but if she calls me and ask me why i havent called?im going to tell her because she isnt serious,if you was i would call you more.what do you think coros girl? good idea?im going to be up front about this whole mind games she is playing.maybe she is testing me,who knows.anyways thanks for the advice i really appreciate that sweetie.i hope you dont mind i added you as my buddy.

sincerely
tonyalso... the up and coming musician youll someday know about.:hearton
 
Ok here I go lol First do you know what it is you are looking for right now. Are you looking for a serious relationshipor just someone to spend time with when the need so arises. THere is no dount about this woman being insecure, a woman secure with herself would find no need to play games. When ever two people hook up htere is the getting to know the person part of it all and that is right at the beginning obviously you are trying to do just that and she is taking any intiative that you take in doing so and using it to play this game with you because right now she is assuming you only want to play games just about everyone is doubtfull of a man coming at her if she has been threw shit in the past but it doesnt mean that in order to know if a man is real or not you have to play wth him and vice versa. She has already let you know she is insecure with her actions so before you decide to any further in persuing anything with her ask yourself if you can handle her insecurity because it will comeinto play as you mentioned yo dont want to be told when you can go out etc etc. If you feel it is something you can handle then talk to her let her know where you stand that there arent any games and if she can accept that your intentions are real take it from there. In what ever you decide to do talk to this woman and let her know either way. best of luck 🙂
 
That was alot of reading 😛heeeeeeew: J/K There's plenty that have the same question so don't feel alone my friend 😀 And There's alot of others who don't know a good thing when they have it right there in front of them! I KNOW PLENTY BUT THEY'RE TOO SCARED TO REALIZE IT!!
 
Communication is the best answer. And it's true... no matter how hard it is, you gotta do it, or you'll die wondering about the possible outcomes.
Thing is... she is alone... with three children.... obviously she is insecure. She doesn't want a man whose heart won't be hers and hers alone. She needs a man who is ready to settle down, who is ready for a commitment and a family.
She needs to hear things like "But I'm here with you, not them" kinda things. If you feel that this is too much for you then you shoulnd't go on... because in a long run her insecurity will destroy both of you.

Think about this....... speak with her.......... act on it.
 
1 SEXYCHICA SO BY READING ALL THE THINGS I WROTE ABOUT HER,DO YOU THINK SHE IS A PLAYER OR JUST INSECURE?IM DEFITNITELY GOING TO TELL HER THAT IM SERIOUS,AND THAT IF SHE WANTS ME TO CALL HER,SHE IS GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE THINGS SERIOUS,BECAUSE I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THE GAMES,IM 30 YEARS OLD,AND I WOULD LIKE A GOOD WOMEN BUT IF SHE IS GOING TO CONTINUE TO ACT THIS WAY THEN IM OUT THE DOOR.1SEXYCHICA,YOU ARE A WOMAN,AND YOU PROBABLY KNOW BETTER THAN ME WHAT SHE IS TRYING TO DO.JUDGING BY ALL THE THINGS I WROTE ABOUT WHAT TRANSPIRED BETWEEN US WHAT DO YOU THINK IS UP WITH HER?I THINK I KNOW,BUT ILL FIND OUT TOMORROW,OR WHEN SHE CALLS.IM GOING TO MOVE ON IF I SEE SHE IS STILL PLAYING THE SILLY GAMES.GET BACK AT ME 1SEXYCHICA,I REALLY AGREE WITH WHAT YOU SAID COMMUNICATION IS IMPORTANT.TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF,AND THANKS TO EVERYBODY AT CF FOR GIVING ME THEIR INSIGHT,I REALLY LOVE THE ADVICE.ONE LOVE TO ALL OF MY NEW FAMILY HERE


SINCERELY TONYALSO THE UP AND COMING MUSICIAN YOULL SOON KNOW ABOUT. 😉
 
Tony Also,
Thing is... you gotta let her know that you want HER. She won't stop being insecure untill she gets it straight on her mind.
I don't think she is a player. At least not from what you wrote about her. She seems to just want a man who is secure and who is into her.
Best advice was what I told you along with some people who posted... talk to her. SHe is not stupid, she can think and talk back... and you will benefit from it soooo much better than from US giving u an advice for someone you have described in one paragraph.
But be prepared because things like these take time and patience!!!

I hope it all works out for u. Tell me how it went.

Take care now!
 
hey tony..listen what i have read here..there rite..dont try to work so hard to get what you want..u start off as friends then from there follow your heart..it suxs when the other person may not feel the way you do and at times u keep it to yourself..ive been thru the ringer for a longggg time and i have learned thru my mistakes etc...talk to her ..but seems to me she is just playing you and believe me...games are in school..not when it comes to a relationship..im talking to someone and he is not serious what so ever and i grew tired of his game..everyone deserve better and to be happy but no realationship is peachy ..u will always have your moments but as long there communication.trust and honesty then it can work ..let her know what is up..if she has kids and i dont know what her situation was like and what was the cause of the father or the fathers of her children to leave her or she left them..i dont know but knowng her and see how she reacts around friends or snap is not a good sign...reacting in front of everyone isnt good cuz where is the respect and the maturatiy in that..?? if your looking for someone with the same feelings u carry ..it will come on time..give it a talk and if she tells you one thing and then goes back on her word then she isnt for you..its all game and you dont need the stress or the heartbreak..you deserve better..its her loss not yours.let me know..madeline
 
hey 2 sweet.thanks for youre insight.i called her on sunday,i told her that she wasnt serious,and she told,me were just freinds.youre taking this too serious.but im thinking if we are freinds then why she isnt trying to get to know me.i already made up my mind about this.im not even going to bother with her.im done.so 2 sweet are you still talking to that guy you mentioned in your post response?i would love to chat with you some time if you dont mind.im on hotmail tonyalso7@hotmail.com 2 sweet,i really appreciate youre advice,it really woke me up.thanks to you and everyone at this site.i got nothing but love for all of you.

sincerely tonyalso one holla back!
 
i talk to him but that is it...i went thru to much for the past 1yr a1/2 and u cant save someone if they dont want to be saved you know. theres to much going against him cuz of his brothers and there issues and have him fall into it but i had to let go .. all i do is be there for anyone and everyone cuz its a job that i use to do cuz it was required in my job desciption but other then that..i listen and solve or try to solve everyones problems but my own..what u have just done ..u did rite....u can do better and you will find better...im 35 and im still learning but im sooo much wiser and ive grown up way before my time...ill add you to my hotmail list..mine ..well i have sooooo many but im online uwntmyckie@aol.com and mhernandez8@hotmail.com...it doesnt matter how old a person is ..im there for anyone..welll i have 2 ears and a heart..so if ur in the need for some direction or guidance ..let me know cuz online i have kids from 15 on that calls me the internet mom and i think its cool and alot of penpals all ova...i have room for more..well dont let her bother you ..just have her ignore and hopefully sooner or later she'll get the hint..ttyrs g2g
madeline
 
tony read this..and its true, life is full of wonders, take it as it comes..people come and go..u have real friends and u have friends that r not really ur friends..stay focus


The basic element
In the chemistry of love
The foundation for which
Relationships are made of

An unconditional belief
As rich as old wine
Without doubt or hesitation
In the back of ones mind

A quality that exists
Very little today
Some folks take it serious
Others just want to play

To treat it as a game
Is disrespectful and cruel
To take for granted ones heart
And hustle them like a fool

When it comes to trust
How does one really know?
How can one be sure
Exactly when to let go

Its such a great risk
To open up your heart
It takes one cruel intention
To tear it apart

How can it be earned
Its so hard to come by
Be true to those who love you
Never cheat and dont lie

For all things good and bad
Eventually do come around
One day it could be you
Whos heart hit the ground

If someone deceives you
Treat it as a lesson
Stay strong in the midst of
His/her indiscretions

Most important of all
Always trust yourself
For without this within you
You cant give to anyone else!
 
i really loved youre poem,i write poetry myself.i can tell you learned a valuable lesson about letting go.youre poem saids it all.
im on migente too.my name on migente is boricuachulo1.im going to add you as a freind,on my hotmail list.by 2 sweet,and thanks for everything.

sincerely tonyalso
 
well im just passin thru..i always write poems...its a hobby of mine..i wrote to you thru hotmail as well let me know if u received it ok..i got to get going and ill be on later on..its to boring sitting at home but ill ttyrs ok..u take care
madeline
 
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