What's with the Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde thing?

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Dianita

Dianita

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What is it that? You meet someone, they can be the kindest most patient person you'll find, overall just great. As a friend, they're the best. Then once when you're in a romantic relationship, they get all psycho and become someone completely different. One day, you fall in love with your sweet friend and the next day, you find yourself looking at them thinking "who the hell are you?"
Has this ever happened to anyone else and is there a way to find that person again?
 
This has happened to a huge portion of the human race. 🙂

Being deceived.

That is why when you get into a relationship with someone you have to study that person really well without rushing things or seriously commiting. Because you don't want big problems in the long run. 😉
 
But what's the point in it? When someone acts like someone they're not, they pay the most in the end right?
 
Dianita said:
But what's the point in it? When someone acts like someone they're not, they pay the most in the end right?
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Yes but the person that really is screwed in the long run is the one that changed their ways. 😉
 
:bangbang maybe I should just become a nun:realsad
 
Enigma said:
This has happened to a huge portion of the human race. 🙂

Being deceived.

That is why when you get into a relationship with someone you have to study that person really well without rushing things or seriously commiting. Because you don't want big problems in the long run. 😉
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AMEN!!!!!! Truer words have never been spoken.
 
This has been such a bad, sucky week. Instead of getting better, things just seem to be getting worse. I'm tired of feeling like I'm competing. I'm tired of feeling like nothing I do is good enough. If this relationship doesn't end soon, it will next year. It feels like I'm waiting for a time bomb to go off sometimes. I love him, but I don't think he realizes the position he's putting me in. If he goes back, he'll probably go back with his son's mother, but, if I'm lucky and things don't work out he'll come back to me. How is that supposed to make me feel. At the same time I don't know if I can handle taking the blame that his son won't have both his parents. When it's time to move on, I don't think I know how. Obviously I suck at picking men. I've never even been on a stinkin date. I don't get men at all. I've treated both the men I've had in my life like kings, yummy food, daily massages, lots of nookie, honesty, comprehension. When I love someone I give all of me, and what's the use? I sometimes get tired. I hate having someone always mad at me. I hate fighting. I'm the most non-confrontational person there is. Omg, I'm sorry just venting...maybe it's me. I'm doing something wrong, something's wrong with me.
 
Girl listen to me...NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! you have been put into a very unfair situation and it isnt your fault! I know exactly what you are going through. I seem to pick the WORST men on the planet ( current husband included). I feel so bad for you and you should not be putting yourself down it's just not woth it. If you need to talk or if you just need someone to listen to you while you vent I am here...Keep your head up!!!
 
susiedeoro1 said:
Girl listen to me...NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! you have been put into a very unfair situation and it isnt your fault! I know exactly what you are going through. I seem to pick the WORST men on the planet ( current husband included). I feel so bad for you and you should not be putting yourself down it's just not woth it. If you need to talk or if you just need someone to listen to you while you vent I am here...Keep your head up!!!
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Thank you so much. I just get so upset sometimes, cause I don't know what to do. I love him and I want to keep fighting. Sometimes I wonder what I am fighting for though. If I learned one thing, just loving someone isn't enough. Maybe in an ideal world, but I know a relationship needs alot more than that to work, and I don't want him to be with me because I'm second choice. Every time he calls to see how his son is, she reminds him of this great love they share, and then he tells me how good she was with him. At times, he gets so different and I can't help but feel that it's her she's thinking about.
 
you need to sit down and try to talk to him ( I know it may be easier said than done) and find out what he really wants. Does he want you or does he want her? It's not fair that you are the only one fighting for this to work and if it keeps on like that then it most likely won't work. Both ppl have to want to make the committment. It's hard I know but in the end it will all work out in the end.
 
susiedeoro1 said:
you need to sit down and try to talk to him ( I know it may be easier said than done) and find out what he really wants.
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That is the best option to figure out what is going on in the household. Why emotions are dampered with sadeness and confusion.

Communication is the key to everything. If there is no communication then there is anger and fighting etc and that is not good..especially when there are children around and that is not healthy for them.

If something feels so wrong in a realtionship it should be dealt with quickly...especially if other people are involved because you never know.
 
I try and he changes the subject or he gets annoyed, or when he does talk, he'll tell me one thing one day and act completely different the next.
 
Dianita said:
I try and he changes the subject or he gets annoyed, or when he does talk, he'll tell me one thing one day and act completely different the next.
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OMG...with me, changing the subject is the worst thing to do, because it shows that your legitimate gripe with him is being disregarded. You know what song comes to mind? "When The Pieces Fall." And you can only try to nail it into his thick skull for so long before you gotta sit back and....let the pieces fall....ain't nobody, man or woman, worth the pain and the suffering and heartache.....and there's too many men/woman in this world to be sweating just one.
 
dianita, you have not found the right man yet, you will one day. you deserve to have someone that is going to treat you like a queen, just like you treat him like a king. you are a good woman and you sound like your the bomb. you probley cook real good food(my mouth is watering) you probley give the bomb massages(damm my back hurts) lots of nookie, dammmmmmm, you probley know all the tricks in the book(my mouth is watering, damm, i said that already) honesty and comprehension (sure, why not) anyway, do you like meatballz
 
Dianita said:
Thank you so much. I just get so upset sometimes, cause I don't know what to do. I love him and I want to keep fighting. Sometimes I wonder what I am fighting for though. If I learned one thing, just loving someone isn't enough. Maybe in an ideal world, but I know a relationship needs alot more than that to work, and I don't want him to be with me because I'm second choice. Every time he calls to see how his son is, she reminds him of this great love they share, and then he tells me how good she was with him. At times, he gets so different and I can't help but feel that it's her she's thinking about.
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sweetie time and time and again I have felt that distance w/ my past relationships.....IT SHOULD NOT BE HARD WORK! it should flow. of course no one relationship is perfect but you know what, it shouldn't be this difficult if its real. You are a strong woman w/ a daughter to care for, you don't need this man by your side. He may be a good man but he's just not the man for you. its inevitable that feelings for his ex still linger and in all honesty do u think its fair to you to have that around? I don't think anyone should be 2nd best and it seems like that's what he's doing. I'm sorry ma but u deserve so much better. Unfortunately for me, I've learned that the hard way and now I will NOT let anyone put ME on the back burner. I have learned to value MYSELF more as a woman, as a person, as a mother and as a friend. es hora q hagas lo mismo. Date tu lugar y si no le gusta q se joda! ay suficiente hombre q te aprecie.....
 
Brklyn345 said:
OMG...with me, changing the subject is the worst thing to do, because it shows that your legitimate gripe with him is being disregarded. You know what song comes to mind? "When The Pieces Fall." And you can only try to nail it into his thick skull for so long before you gotta sit back and....let the pieces fall....ain't nobody, man or woman, worth the pain and the suffering and heartache.....and there's too many men/woman in this world to be sweating just one.
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I find myself singing that alot lately, since most the song pertains...But yeah, I hate when he changes the subject, or he gets just plain annoyed. "I don't understand his situation..." "I'm making a big deal outta nothing..." You know, I love him, I'd like for things to work out, but there's a good chance they won't. If I decide to move on sooner, it wouldn't be be because I don't love him, but because I don't think all this crap is healthy, and I want to set a better example for my daughter.
 
nessa's302 said:
sweetie time and time and again I have felt that distance w/ my past relationships.....IT SHOULD NOT BE HARD WORK! it should flow. of course no one relationship is perfect but you know what, it shouldn't be this difficult if its real. You are a strong woman w/ a daughter to care for, you don't need this man by your side. He may be a good man but he's just not the man for you. its inevitable that feelings for his ex still linger and in all honesty do u think its fair to you to have that around? I don't think anyone should be 2nd best and it seems like that's what he's doing. I'm sorry ma but u deserve so much better. Unfortunately for me, I've learned that the hard way and now I will NOT let anyone put ME on the back burner. I have learned to value MYSELF more as a woman, as a person, as a mother and as a friend. es hora q hagas lo mismo. Date tu lugar y si no le gusta q se joda! ay suficiente hombre q te aprecie.....
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I see your points really clearly. I'm gonna have to find a way to get him to listen, but I wasn't even so sure what to say. I have more of an idea now, things inside I knew but tal vez didn't want to face. He and my daughter are really fond of each other, and when I called before, I mentioned that there are things we have to work out, because things are affecting her. He thinks that if he doesn't talk to his ex or doesn't mention her to me, but if he continues his plan to go back to her, for ANY reason, or has any feelings for her, he'll act different with us. He won't put enough effort in. There are times I believe, yeah he loves me, but maybe not in the way I need.
 
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