what to say when u'r not ready...

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Liz_Torres

Liz_Torres

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My b/f of 3 1/2 years has proposed in the past, I declined....many times.
He's pushing the marriage issue again. I'm not ready- I know it, I feel it.
I'm 28 w/3 kids.....I like the way things are. I've told him, so he can't say he doesn't know. I'm at the point where if he asks again, I think I'll dump him altogether......WHY?? why the sudden urgency to get married?
WHAT does he have to prove and to WHOM? I know he's in good health, so there's no fear of losing him naturally.(GOD forbid)
I know at that I am unhappy- but it's not cuz of him.....he annoys me ALOT- but I dunno if the love is there anymore.....I started a thread alomst 2 years ago if not 3 yrs ago about feelin like I'm using him.......I know I did love him and I was totally faithful...
I know he sees it...but we stay together....I like his company, that I can tell him anything......if the love is not there why make a big step foreward to fall backward when things are ok?
My heart loves: things, people,way of life,children.....but not the way he loves me.
How can I break away if my heart does not love, but wants to keep the companionship?


DO I have issues or what?
 
WOW !!!!!!!!! liz,that's deep😱 ,right now im in almost the same thing as u,(but with a twist) for me i just started dating someone we've been out on a couple of dates and i really dont feel anything for her yet,we have a lot in commen and we get along great,**but nothing**** and i know she wants to settle down get married have kids,and I want all those things to,but i dont really want to be with someone if i dont feel anything (and NO it's not about the sex) but lizzzz i'll tell u what everyone's telling me,"do what feels right in YOU'R heart".......peace,much luv to ya..............vapro
 
I AGREE W/VAP...LIZ YOU MUST DO WHAT'S RIGHT IN YOUR HEART AND BY ALL MEANS EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS TO HIM BECAUSE IT WOULD BE UNFAIR TO HIM TO WANT SOMETHING AND THE FEELING IS NOT MUTUAL....

MARRIAGE IS A BIG STEP AND IF HE'S READY AND YOU'RE NOT HE HAS A RIGHT TO KNOW.

MY MAN AND I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER 7 YRS..DURING THE FIRST 3 YEARS I KEPT PRESSING HIM ABOUT MARRIAGE...HE HAD ISSUES..NOW I'M ALL COMFORTABLE (W/HIS CHILD AND ALL) AND HE'S PRESSING THE ISSUE....I SAID YES CAUSE IN MY HEART IT'S ALSO WHAT I WANT...COMMUNICATION IS KEY....LET HIM KNOW SOON.
 
hold up....i disagree....when u are at the altar i beleive peeps know what they are up for and what they are doing....the problem today is that people don't communicate with each other..and if by chance you are heading into a marriage w/high expectations without discussing it first..then u are up for a BIG let down.
 
it's really obvious that ur just too used to the guy and have hard time letting go... when ur not ready for a marriage and he is, it tells u something.. because usually it's a girl who initiates the idea... u gotta tell him how u feel (what u told us is a good start), that u don't wanna get married to him, that u don't want to rush anything and that ur not sure that love is still there... because it'll be very hard on him in a longer run, u shouldn't play with people's feelings like that because by staying with him, ur making him think he still got a change to marry u but that's not how u think about it... think about things from HIM perspective? It'll be painfull for both of u to break up, but it seems to be the best solution right now... if not a break up, but maybe some kinda of BREAK, u know? If both of you want different things, there is really no point in staying together in my opinion.
 
WELL MY BOOBERRY PURPOSED TO ME AND OUR ENGAGEMENT IS JUNE 28TH! IM SO HAPPY, BUT LIZ TAKE IT EASY IF YOUR NOT READY THAN YOU DECLINE AGAIN AND EXPLAIN TO HIM HOW YOU FEEL SO HE ISNT CONFUSED EITHER. MAYBE HE IS JUST READY TO SETTLE DOWN AND HAVE A FAMILY HE WANTS TO TAKE CARE OF MY LIL LIZZY. YOU REALLY NEED TO TALK TO HIM THOUGH EVEN IF IT MEANS HES GONNA WALK AWAY BUT ASK HIM TO GIVE YOU TIME AND WHY! MAUHZZZ CUTTIE WE ARE ALL HERE FOR U IF U NEED US! YOU KNO MY SN TOO IF U NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO! GOD BLESS U AND UR KIDS MA IT WILL ALL WORK OUT FOR THE BEST DONT STRESS!
 
I thank you for all your responses.....


Harry - hush u...

ladies: thanx..

plain and simple, I'm not the marrying type.....and I don't love him enuff for that step
 
😱 Girl, you need to talk to this man!! Tell him that you dont feel the same way, and I can tell you that there should not be any fears of being alone! Good Luck!
 
Well, he got issues then!...I think its time to move on...why hag on if it has dies..if it was growing its different. Hang in there..all will be ok.
 
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