URGENT PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Mandy

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Oh god I might do somethin stupid...but my heart tells me to do it. OK you all must know by now if you been in the love section that I just got my heart broken really bad 4 the 500th time. This one feels alittle different though. Well this is some1 who never felt love be4 and his longest relationship was 3 months. Ours lasted over two months. It was really serious and intense. hes 19 goin on 20 Im 21. Hes muslim but hes not feelin very spiritual right now. He embraces the thug life way too much. Even though hes got a rather wealthy family who cares about him. I guess though he felt neglected by them which can have an effect on any1.

I really cared about him and loved him and still do. Hes so bad at expressin his feelins that we broke up by email. I think he thought i was gonna dump him first cuz he went to NY and left me alone. He wrote me two emails. He told me his callin in life is money, money makin and all that and "wiling out" But thats not how he was two days ago. He changed since I got mad at him and he went out with his boys.

Should I respond to his second one.....should I care? Is it wastin my time? Will I look like a fool?

I feel like theres loose ends...but I feel like I put too much effort into writin my emails, but its only cuz i care. HELPPPP ME.....I dont want to make the wrong decision.

Thanks.....THIS URGENT I WOULD SEND THE EMAIL I WROTE TODAY.
I just need to see what you all think and have experienced.
 
WOW Mandy,

That is really intense, I could tell you to follow your heart but sometimes that's not the best decision. I guess only you could answer this yourself. Do you think your strong enough to handle this relationship and all it can bring? If you think you could, then go for it girlie. I wish you luck babe.

JOD "SURVIVOR" DESTINY'S CHILD

Nyasia
 
Look Ma....take it from a man who once did the same thing to his girl who is now his wife.....if you let him alone he will figure out what is right for him and where he belongs.....don't push him to make a decision....let him do his own thing.....if it was meant to be he will come home to you.....I almost lost the woman I love very much.....I was doin all types of crazy shit when I first became a cop.....didn't want to be tied down, but didn't want to let go either.....she walked away and one day it hit me that I wasnt livin right without her.....she almost didnt take me back......let him go for now.....let him find himself and learn to love himself.....he cant love you if he doesnt love himself or believe in himself......stay strong shorty.....
 
undacvr,

Wow, that was very insightful of you. Damn Lil, you go girl!!

Naya
 
look hun take it from me

you r still young and there are plenty of fish in the sea. if it is meant to be then he will have to cxome back to you, you don't go after him. this only makes a guy push away more.they have that pride thing. i still am learning this at my age. it hurts but you got to show that u are strong and can live w/out him or any man. don't talk to him,unless he calls or write you. if he does make it brief. act busy. if you are busy people will call you because we are all nosey. no one wnats osmeone that sems to have no life. when i don't answer my phone or emails i get alot more response then when i go out of my way to contact people. i am not saying to be cold and diss peeps, but don't be to eager and available all the time.


boy i sound like a therapist. lol. good luck, follow your heart n mind!!!!
 
Ain't no shame in this man's game....I f***** up really bad and I hurt that girl more than I care to remember....when she walked away I looked at life in a whole different perspective......I am thankful she did what she did or I might not be the man or cop I am today.....mad love to my babygirl....Lilitaliana
 
Thanks Sassy.....been there and done that.....if its meant to be it will work out.....strength is the key.....dont give in or give up......let it ride......let him find out what he really wants and what he really needs.....
 
undercvr................................

at least you saw that u were wrong and fixed things. most men aren't able to do that. pride is a terrible thing sometimes. and yes women done it too. well i am glad to see u had a happy ending.
 
Thanks NYASIA & Undacvrfrstylr! OMG I see where both of you are comin. I know following your heart isnt always the best thing and it can get you hurt. But Im already hurt. Im pretty sure I can handle what comes my way...and Im not writin the letter to make things between me and him work. Im tellin him just what I thought about his letter and that moneys not the most important thing in life. He always did respect my opinions.

I also thought if I ignore him...he might feel like no1 cares about him, and that hes right money is the most important thing in life. I dont want to get back together with him.
We're in the same english class in college together...AHHHH
I havent seen him in a week. Be4 he went to NY everything was fine . I dont want to hate him and im afraid if i dont write this i will.

We loved each other...this is the first time i felt love in awhile. And i just want to know if there was misunderstandings and whatever else...should I clear things up? He did say he felt hurt and he loved me but he "got in too deep in my eyes"
Oh by the way one of his friends got a girl he was with pregnant(for the same amount as time as us) and the other is gettin married. Theyre complainin to him alot, especially about the money
Plus he doesnt know if Im ok....if u know what i mean....

Thanks for your help....and yeah hes immature I almost broke up with him like 5 times cuz of that but i loved him too much to do that.
 
If he doesn't see that he has a good woman, then you need to walk away and let him find his way back, mama......don't lower yourself to begging....you deserve better than that.....listen to your what's in your mind.....not your heart unless they are both saying the same thing...........
 
Mandy...

Quite honestly - if the internet is involved anyway in your relationship (e-mail???) then that shows me that there is a problem. You need to base the relationship in REALITY and eliminate the cyber element. What is wrong with picking up a phone and calling him? I know it may hurt to hear his voice, but using the internet looks like you are hiding.

Many people use their computers as a mask to hide behind. If you have been active in a cyber based relationship (I mean where the internet plays a notable role in the communcation between both of you) I would suggest that it ends completely and you move on to someone you can fell free to talk to on the phone or even better - in person.

I have never been involved in any sort of romantic relationship that had some sort of roots planted in the internet simply because I know better. I have seen how the pursuit of love on the internet has made a few people close to me "mentally unbalanced" (that is nice way to describe the depression and anger they now possess due to those incidents)...

But in the end do what you feel is best
 
I agree with RHOQ too, no internet, that sucks. at least you knew him before the e-mail thing, but I agree with Rhoq.

Naya
 
keep us updated

i hope things work out for u. keep us posted. only u know what is best for u.
 
Thanks everyone for respondin so quickly...I appreciate your help. I do agree that he will eventually find out that he lost a good woman. And I in no way want him back im not tryin to get him back in this email. Im just the kind of person that likes to tell people how I feel. Im straight out like that. I never like to leave things unsaid because u never know if u may never see the person again. I feel like in my heart hes not bein true to himself or bein upfront with me

As for your opinion Rhoq....this wasnt an internet relationship AT ALL NEVER. I met him at college 2 years ago and i liked him at first site. We started datin three months ago. We never talked online ONLY when we did research for english class. He hates online and writin.

When i felt things were rocky I told him we should talk in person on tuesday at the park. Well monday night i look in my email box and i see a thing from him under a secret name. he said he wrote me to explain himself better and he was pissed as hell cuz i wouldnt see him 4 two days.he dissed me for NY. when he came back he really wanted to see me and im like im gonna hang with my friends. and i did. why should I jump when he says? I do have a life. But i willingly gave up clubbin 4 him and stuff.

ANYWAYS...I didnt know he had written the letter, so I called like probably an hour AFTER he wrote it... to ask him what time was good to meet in person. He thought i had read his email but i HADNT. He had his boy answer the phone and say he wasnt there. I tried to talk to him. that was my only effort. why should i make all the effort?

He said in his second letter in which I havent responded to in a day. He wants to talk to me one last time...and he gave me a kiss in his email....he wrote the email cuz no#1 hes stupid and no#2 he never had a real relationship be4.

:siggggggggghhhhhhh: oh geez why do i stress like this? I dont need a man at ALL. And I told him that and he knows that....he calls my attitude "cocky, confident, but a bad thing" he says he never knows what im thinkin....so I wrote the email I dont know whether to send because I was gonna let him know how i feel....so he knows....

I know i dont need him....i did wish things wouldnt have ended this way thoough. I dont want to be left hangin ..so in the email im like if you have somethin to say u can call me or see me email etc...otherwise this is goodbye...

oh PS rhoq i told him didnt i deserve a real goodbye? ....not through email....its not an internet relationship. he has problem with emotions...and lyin I called him. He didnt call back instead he wrote an email. Thanks for your feedback...

I dont think he couldve looked me in the eyes and said the things that he said cuz i know theyre not true. he took the cowards way out.
I do know theres other fish in the sea...i plan on findin one who is good to me. IM just tryin to heal my heart...but i dont want to make a fool outta myself u know? Thanks again
 
so is that a no on sendin the email? I am definitely movin on....startin tonight...im goin clubbin ;O)
 
Mandy......only you know what is right for you just as he will have to figure it out for himself.......don't give up mama......things have a way of working themselves out in time......

Undacvr......it was rough, but 11 years later I love you more than you will ever know and thank you for that horrible experience..it helped us grow up!!!
 
i cant believe it...but i sent it. My heart and my mind told me to. I didnt do it 4 him or to get back. I feel now i can move on better since i said all the things i needed to say that i didnt have the opportunity to say in person or on the phone. If i wouldve seen him, i wouldve FORGOT everything i wanted to say. I dont like writin but maybe it was the best way to do it.

Lil Italiana thanks giRL. If you dont mind me askin what made you decide he was worth keepin (sorry undacvr)....How do you know if they are? And how old were you two when it happened like be4 u got back togetha...and how long were u together?

I dont think I could EVER take him back or forgive him.


When I see you again
will you look at me as just a friend
or will you look at me like a love you wish didnt end
will you look at me with no love
and pretend its me youre not thinkin of
or will i feel in your eyes
silent hidden cries
wishin you hadnt told me all those lies
your true self is masked in disguise
i will never figure you out i realize
when i see you again
i will walk away
all my feelins for you i will not say
i will hide them and in my heart they will always stay
waitim for a love who will treat me right everyday
when you see me again
please dont say you still care
and how u treated me so unfair
once you realize that it is my love you want
and no one else can compare
Youll turn around...AND I WONT BE THERE

Written by Mandy aka ReaL Love 4/11/01

thanks every1
 
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