5 tips: How to build a better personal ad
By Randy B. Hecht
You know those womenor men who just walk into a bar, party or even a supermarket and are instantly surrounded by admirers? Some of them are drop-dead gorgeous, sure, but others make you scratch your head and wonder what they've got that you don't.
Think online dating offers a more level playing field? Think again. Here, too, some people have an advantage over others — so why shouldn't you be one ? Check out these five tips for to pump your profile full of virtual pheromone:
By Randy B. Hecht
You know those womenor men who just walk into a bar, party or even a supermarket and are instantly surrounded by admirers? Some of them are drop-dead gorgeous, sure, but others make you scratch your head and wonder what they've got that you don't.
Think online dating offers a more level playing field? Think again. Here, too, some people have an advantage over others — so why shouldn't you be one ? Check out these five tips for to pump your profile full of virtual pheromone:
- Post photos — then post some more
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Yeah, yeah ... you're looking for someone who's not all about looks and will value you for what's on the inside. Well, guess what? You'll have better luck finding this paragon of virtue if you post a photo with your free profile. Did you know that profiles with photos get up to 15 times more attention than those without? (put your pic in your profile)
[*]Check your fantasies at the door
Don't set overly romantic expectations. If you think of yourself as a princess waiting to be rescued by a handsome knight, think again. Human guys can't live up to that imagery; any guy who's ready for a real relationship is looking for a woman who can cohabit with him in the real world.
[*]Watch for "code words"
Guys may read into your profile things you never intended to say and didn't realize you were implying. You say you "like fine dining," and men think, "She's a gold digger." Money and professional status are to men what weight and appearance are to women; guys are equally sensitive about implications — real or perceived — that somehow they won't measure up to our standards. Not sure if you've unintentionally included deal-breaking code words in your profile? Ask a trusted guyfriend to give his opinion before you press the Submit button.
[*]Keep it casual
There's no getting around this one. If your profile screams "marriage-minded" or even suggests that you want a serious relationship and you want it now, most men are going to scurry off with their tails between their legs. It's not even a question of commitment-phobia. We all want to be wanted for ourselves, not because we represent completion of an agenda item … and guys in particular enjoy "the thrill of the chase". So keep your tone approachable, low-key and no-pressure — allowing time for our old friend Chemistry to kick in on its own.
[*]Flirt
Of course you have clear epectations about your ideal date's age, height, professional status and so on. But when you write about everything you want, you often can come across like you're interviewing someone for a government job — not the image you want to project to your prospective squeeze. So screw up your courage, get out there and flirt (a little wink or two — no overkill required here!). Then watch who shows up in your inbox to flirt back at you.
good luck!!:idea
