Ok..Gimme your opinion.....

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Wow Dayer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I caught this thread late, and I really should be in bed, but I gotta give my girl some advice! 😉

First of all, get yourself into a positive frame of mind. That whole "for each smile you crack you shed 10 tears" is just a bunch of bullshit. Life is what you make it out to be. If you spend your time alone, sad, with the wrong person, or any other way, it's your bed, you made that decision! However, you can change your frame of mind and your surroundings! Look on the positive side!

As for hoping that the "woman" (I'll explain why that's in quotes later) will read your posts so she'll see you came out so it's not a waste of time, that's also bullshit. Coming out is the best thing for you to do for yourlself. I speak from experience. I put up with sooooo much from people, and when I did come out, I felt liberated, like a weight had come off my shoulders, and HAPPY! You have no idea how much energy you lose trying to stay in the closet. This coming out will also help you be positive. C'mon Dawn, join the Happy Homos!

Now, on to this "woman". She doesn't sound like much of a "woman" to me. If I loved someone, and that someone loved me back, I would do whatever was necessary to be with that person. But for some reason, she's not doing this for you. She's either enjoying having you around while she sees someone else (which makes her a vindictive bitch) or she wants to punish you for what went on with you two before (which makes her a vindictive bitch).

There were 2 reasons you couldn't be with her before. You weren't out and YOU WERE MARRIED. She's not in that position, yet she's making it sound like she is. It doesn't take much to tell someone, "I'm sorry, but I think this has gone as far as it can go, and I need to see other people." but she's not doing that for you.

Basically, you've become the other woman, and you deserve better than that. You deserve someone who will love you in the light, not only in the shadows, when it's convienent for them, because the "other" person might find out.

Remember Dawn, as my Mom always says, (and you know moms are always right) "Women are like busses, there's a new one every 15 minutes!"
 
Thanks Chuck!

You're post meant a lot to me.

So, when are we hitting Krash? (you know, the happy homo club here in Queens)

Holla at me, you have my e-mail addy

(((big hugz for Chuck)))
 
WEEEEPPPPPPPPAAAAAAA, NOW THAT'S THE WAY TO DO THIS, GET TORE DOWN WITH SOME GOLDSCHLAGGER😀
 
Oh hell no Destiny...

That stuff will kill me 😉

But on the real...

I honestly can't picture myself walking any time soon. I love her lots. And.... I think this will all blow over soon & hopefully we'll end up with each other.

I talked to her last night & she said she'd check this message & reply.

Now whether she does, only time will tell.

Wel..gotta pop in the shower & get my a$$ ready for work. I'll be posting in a few hours though, don't you worry 😉
 
Well Dawn,

you asked and here it goes.

Just because you messed up the first time, doesn't mean that you have to continue suffering from your mistake. Yes you f**ked up, and life has a way of making you realize that in the end. I've met the other person, and I think she's very nice, but you two cannot not go on like that. Girl, trust me, let it go for now, let it work itself out, you cannot force this situation. I know it's hard, you feel like if you don't keep talking about it, or making a point about it that it won't be taken care of.. I don't know if that makes sense to you. But I've been there Dawny, I know how you feel and what your going through.

Don't waste a minute of your life Dawny, because before you know it...it's gone. And maybe your passing someone over that truly wants to make you happy, who knows maybe it is Sammie, but you have to let it happen on it's own.

I hope this made sense to you..lolol

and girl you know we there for you!!

naya
 
Naya...

yes, it made sense. And you are right, its hard.

Maybe its because I am a Leo & that makes me an impatient woman. I dunno. But however this ends up, I guess it will be for the best.

thanks 🙂
 
speaking of coming out...

my friend just came out to me last night!!! i am SOOO happy for him!!! and i'm honored that he felt comfortable enough with me to tell me!! we're so much closer now. after that one moment, we bonded instantly. he just started telling people and i think its great!! u go boy!!!! i love you baby!!!! 😉
 
So Martittie....

err sorry I meant Martini 😛

Does that mean you're going to "come out" & admit that deep down you are a Pimpette? 😉
 
THE BEST ADVICE I EVER RECIEVED WAS TO KEEP YOUR HEAD UP
WAIT A MINUTE IS IT AGAINST THE LAW FOR A FRESCO TO GIVE A PIMPETTE ADVICE HMMMMMM
MUCH LOVE FOR YA DAYER :0p
 
GLAD TO SEE THEIRS SOME SUNSHINE AFTER THE RAIN BABY GIRL, AND YES MAMA GOLDSCHLAGGER WILL GET YOUR A$$ RIPPED LOL
BUT, HEY ISN'T THAT THE POINT😀
 
Hell yes thats the point ma but I'd much rather get ripped slowly than off 2 or 3 shots 😉

Are you going to Backdrafts tonight?
 
I HOPE SO, I NEED TO GET MY DRINK ON FOR REAL. I'M SICK OF THE LI ICE T'S THOUGH SO I GET SPRITE N GOLDSCHLAGGER IT'S NOT HALF BAD LOL BUT, IT CREEPS UP ON YOU. I LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING TOASTED😀 I'M NOT AN ALKY BUT, THIS WEEK WAS A LITTLE TWISTED, LIQUOR IS A NECESSITY TONIGHT
 
WILL IT GIVE ME A BUZZ LMAO, I NEED SOME MUSIC IN MY LIFE TO SO, IT'S NOT JUST THE LIQUOR 🙂
 
I don't think I am gonna go...

I was supposed to go with Sammie but, well I guess if she does go, she'll be with her g/f & I surely don't need to see that.

Its in my face enough as it is with all the damn pictures all over her room.

*sigh*
 
I know I'm a little late, but it seems that a friend of mine is in need of some friendly advice.

Dawn, First of all I don't want to hear any more negative shit about you coming out of your mouth or fingers or I will be forced to fly down on my magic carpet and kick your silly ass!!!!

Some of the things you said, stand out to me and so I'm going to quote them back to you or summarize otay?

"If I don't wait, & we don't end up together, than that would be my fault. "
Ok, and what if you do wait and you still don't end up together? What then? Whose fault will it be? Hers? Yours? I say both. Then again, I don't recall the word fault being in the love dictionary.
And it doesn't really seem that she waited for you. But then again, no one really knows the whole story here except for you and your coz (who obviously loves you all kinds!!! so props to her!) and Sammie.

To be quite honest, your relationship with her isn't going to work. I know you do't want to hear this but I only speak what I feel is the truth and I wouldn't be much of a friend if I didn't open my mouth. You met her while you were married. Shit happens, what can you do? I am not condemning or judging you because that's not my place. BUT you weren't really available to her right? You had a husband and kids and a life that didn't and couldn't really include her. So it was safe for her. She was risking nothing while look at what you were risking.
You are just learning about your sexuality, while she is already comfortable and knows hers.
She knew that while you were in your marriage and until you dealt with whatever issues were there, that she wasn't going to need to be committed to you. She could only see you when it was safe for you. So what did she do with the rest of her time? Stich sayings on a pillow? You already admitted that when you met her, she already had a gf AND a girl on the side AND you.

You know that she was lying and cheating on the girls she was seeing then, you know she is lying to the girl she is with now and you have to know that she has also and (more than likely, actually I say definitely) still is lying to you.

Her track record alone shows that she can not be in a monogamous, committed relationship.

Maybe it might seem like a double standard, and while I don't condone cheating, what happened with you and your marriage is a little different. You discovered that you have homosexual tendencies or desires (don't ask me to be politically correct, I don't know what that would be in this situation, just know I am saying it with love and understanding and without judgement). SO that kinda throws a wrench into things for you. You were married, built a life but weren't happy and couldn't figure out why. It's like those people who are sick but don't know what's wrong with them. They don't even know they're sick, just that something is off and no matter what they do they can't make it better, and then they diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome or something. I AM NOT SAYING BEING GAY IS AN ILLNESS!!! I'm just using an example. So you found out what was wrong with your end of the marriage , or maybe one of the thngs that were wrong. So while I still don't think you should have cheated, it's kind of a different situation. Not like if it was another man you did it with, you know what I mean?

As for having fuct things up. Well excuse me while I go and sob because you just revealed you weren't God or perfect. EVERYONE, myself included, fux things up to some extent or another on a pretty regular basis. SO welcome to the real world. You are human!! But it wasn't like you led Sammie on or lied to her. SHe knew you were married from the beginning, and she had TWO other chix on the side, so I highly doubt that she should be complaining about being led on. She knew the deal from the beginning.

And there is no such thing as revenge or getting even in a LOVING relationship. Note the word loving. Naya had a tag line that hit home for me and I'm glad she had it. It said something to the effect of "It is better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love to pride." And it's true. I can't even count how many times i'll be in a situation where my hunny has fuct up and I'm waiting for him to apologize because he's the one who fuct up or I should wait to come to me because it was his f*ck up, but I don't. Love isn't a game. It's not chess or checkers where you need a game plan and a strategy. It's not about winning, because guess what? If you're in love with each other and you are with each other, you already won.

Dawn, you are a pretty girl (I've seen your pic and your personality and I defy you to say different. At which point please scrll to the top of theis post and read my first point!😉), you have great friends and Chuck D and chyqo and mIchelle and Renee I am sure would be happy to go out with you, not to mention Spiral and Naya and any of your other friends.

Also, because this is new for you, and you just got out of a marriage I would take it slow. I wouldn't go right into another serious relationship, not to mention the fact that if Sammie loved you as much as you love her there would be no one else. I don't know about everyone else, but you seem to be like me. AND I AM A SELFISH PARTNER. I don't want to share my huny with anyone else and I don't think that I should have to!! Nor should he have to share me with anyone else either. My heart and my love are his and ONLY his and no one else's and vice versa. He can screw up a million times and I will always forgive him and never make him suffer by me because he screwed up. I screw enough shit up on my own that he suffers from that I wouldn't want to be punished for. When you screw ish up and hurt the other person, it's never intentional, but to do something in response to that f*ck up as retribution is meant only to hurt. If you love someone you don't intentionally go and hurt the person you say you love. How is that love? How does that even come close to the loosest most extreme definition of love???

Dawn you are a bright and great lady with a lot to offer the right person. In your head and even in your heart (subconciously maybe but still in your heart) you know you should walk. If Sammie was Sam, there'd be no question about it. Like Lover said, love is love. Period. And if Sammie loved you, I mean REALLY LOVES you, she would never have asked you to ride the train till it was time for her date with the other chick and then ask you to pick her up. Would you have done it to her? Would you ask her to do something that you know would tear her up inside, but asked anyways because it was in your best interest? No. Not if you truly love her. I wouldn't do that to my baby.

Dawn, she probably does care for you, but not the way you want or deserve. You don't rank in the top 3 it seems. I love my huny and he ranks #2 with me. Because for me it's God first, then in 2nd it's me which I share that spot with him and then my family.

So cut your losses and walk. Because the longer you stay the more you're gonna come down on yourself and feel like there is no one else and that she's all you can get, and you'll be selling yourself short. The longer you stay the more your self esteem and confidence will suffer. And you know this or else you wouldn't have posted here. You know the right answer. The easy way is very rarely the right way, nor is it the most taken way. But that's what friends and family are for. To help you, to lean on, when the going gets tough. Your coz is obviously offering you her hand and to walk with you down this hard path ahead of you. I think a lot of people will be there for you if you ask for their help and some even if you don't ask. Read Robert Frost's poem "The Road Less Travelled". I think it says a lot about the right choice and how hard it s, but how rewarding it is in the end.

Love yourself first and the rest will fall into place. And if Sammie walks ........ then it wasn't really love, was it?

I know I rambled, but I hope I helped sweetie. If you need anything just let me know, otay?!?! 😛
 
i said dayummmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!

jade, i didnt read ur post. lollll... tooo long.. but dammit u go girl!!!! 😀
 
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