Need Advice About A Situation

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ROXYGURL

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Ive Been With My Man 7 Years Now And All Of A Sudden A Girl From High School( Her Name Is Ashley, And She Was Freinds With Both Of Us) Starts Callin. She Got Our # Through A Mutual Friend. I Had No Problem With It At First, Now Its A Problem! She Calls My Mans Phone Atleast Once A Day, Never The House #. The Thing Is She Says She Calls To Talk About The "old Times". Wtf? Why Dont U Call The House # And Stop Making Shit Sneaky?well Its Become A Problem In Our Relationship To The Point Where I Told My Man Me Or Her. He Flipped.. He Couldnt Understand Why? He Says Im Overreacting And There Just Friends. Well I Told Ashley Stop Calling Because It Phukin Up Our Relationship.and She Told Me They Were Nothing But Friends. I Told Her Everything I Had Told My Man. My Man Said He Would Stop Being Friends With Her Cause He Loved His Family And Doesnt Want To Ruin Things. So Supposly He Told Her That. Well Now, I Dont Know If He Is, I Think Maybe He Or She Is Still Calling Each Other-making Me Look Stupid Cause I Told Her To Stop Calling Him And She Said That Was Fine, It Was Nothing More Than A Friendship. My Man Tells Me, Swaers Up And Down He Hasnt Talked To Her, But How Can I Believe Him? I Am Always Questioning Him, Where Are U, Who Are U Talking To?are U Telling Me The Truth? And It Is Bugging Him That I Am Doing This.i Dont Want To Do It, But Its Still In My Mind. How Do I Make This Go Away?
 
Well You Have To Ask Yourself Is He Giving You A Reason To Believe He Is Sneaking Calls Behind Your Back? Because If He Isn't Then You Need To Trust Your Man If There Is No Trust Then There Is No Relationship
 
If Ms. thing is just a friend then why can't she call the house phone? Find out what BOTH of you are doing and maybe hang out. Many a woman will use the ruse of "FRIEND" to try to get with an hombre they feel would be better off with "THEM". This kind of betrayal is deserving of a major bitch slapping accompanied by an a$$ kicking of mass proportion. I don't play that. If a man is in a relationship, ESPECIALLY with a friend, he is off limits. FOREVER!! Now if the man is separated and has his own place..and I don't KNOW her.. well if she let him get that far out of her punani zone, then it would seem she is through with him. And I am a strong believer in recycling the D!@%
Ms. Thing has obviously opened up something inside you. Maybe because they knew each other in the past. But don't let the feelings she has "inflicted" on you mess up what you have with your man. Especially after 7 yrs. Don't give her the power. Explain to your man, CALMLY, that what you both have is something you treasure and you are feeling a little threatened by her incorrect ways. Let him know that if the shoe was on the other foot, he would certainly not appreciate you having secret conversations with someone from YOUR past. And then INVITE Ms. Thing over for dinner! If they are just "friends" she'll accept the invite and show up with every intention of enjoying the evening with two old friends, and maybe even bring her man. If she acts shady, then you know to get your ass kickin boots on and ready.. ..cause some women are trife and need to learn a lesson..
 
Yes, My Man Did Invite Her Over For Dinner!!! As I Was Talking To Her She Understood Where I Was Coming From With The Whole Situation. And So Does My Man Now! Now The Onlt Thing Is, Is He Or She Telling Me The Truth About Now Not Talking To Each Other? I Trust My Man, And He Tells Me There Not, But I Question Him All The Time About- "who Are U Talking To" And Etc. I Cant Help It. I Dont Want To Look Stupid In The Long Run.
 
Trusting someone does not make YOU look stupid. The stupid one is the one who has your trust and messes it up. What it comes down to is.. if he is meant to be with you, he will. If someone can come and turn his face from what is real and true in his life.. then wouldn't you be better off without him? Sometimes you have to see the blessing in the tragedy.
But of course you have to be vigilant in the "keeping" of your man.. because many times.. well, I don't mean all men or any disrespect, but... many times.. they are so confused they don't know their a@@ from their elbow.. and they need a good woman to make sure they stay correct. But we can't help but love em...
 
Heartbrake said:
Trusting someone does not make YOU look stupid. The stupid one is the one who has your trust and messes it up. What it comes down to is.. if he is meant to be with you, he will. If someone can come and turn his face from what is real and true in his life.. then wouldn't you be better off without him? Sometimes you have to see the blessing in the tragedy.
But of course you have to be vigilant in the "keeping" of your man.. because many times.. well, I don't mean all men or any disrespect, but... many times.. they are so confused they don't know their a@@ from their elbow.. and they need a good woman to make sure they stay correct. But we can't help but love em...


oh god i know exactly what you mean :bangbang
 
Heartbrake said:
Trusting someone does not make YOU look stupid. The stupid one is the one who has your trust and messes it up. What it comes down to is.. if he is meant to be with you, he will. If someone can come and turn his face from what is real and true in his life.. then wouldn't you be better off without him? Sometimes you have to see the blessing in the tragedy.
But of course you have to be vigilant in the "keeping" of your man.. because many times.. well, I don't mean all men or any disrespect, but... many times.. they are so confused they don't know their a@@ from their elbow.. and they need a good woman to make sure they stay correct. But we can't help but love em...


......I agree.

Also keep in mind ROXGURL, that if he was actually doing something with this girl, you will notice. There are signs. There would be changes that you'll see in him (like lack of interest and such).
 
Orgntr1 said:
......I agree.

Also keep in mind ROXGURL, that if he was actually doing something with this girl, you will notice. There are signs. There would be changes that you'll see in him (like lack of interest and such).

THATS WHAT IM THINKNG TO ORG! HE DEF HAS NOT CHANGED! A MATTER OF FACT, HE IS INTO (US AND ETC) MORE. HE TELLS ME EVERYDAY HE LOVES ME, EVEN BEFORE THIS SHIT WENT DOWN.I KNOW DEEP DOWN IN SIDE THAT HE WOULDNT OF DID ANYTHING-SERIOUSLY- BUT JUST THE FACT OF THE LYING AND SHIT. HE SAID HE DID IT, BECAUSE IF HE TOLD ME THAT HE DID TALK TO HER AS OFTEN AS HE DID, I WOULD GET MAD. SO HE LIED, AND THAT HURT. JUST THE LYING PART, IS VERY FUSTRATING. :mad
 
roxy when a guy over compensates that means he is guilty too. being too lovey dovey with you & going out of his way to assure you is also a sure sign.

when you question him make sure he isnt lookin away for long and can look you straight on. look into his eyes, you will sense if he is bsing.

telling the girl usually only adds fuel to the fire. she is not your friend and has no loyalty to you.

you need to either make a serious ultimatum to your man or take it for face value.
i suggest you tell your man if he continues to be sneaky you want out of this relationship. you deserve a man who wants you and doesnt need a 3 party.
 
RoxyGurl- i think our situation is ALMOST exactly the same... that was in the beginning the phone call thing the girl did phuck up our relationship... Cause he started acting shady & i never really knew if he was telling the truth if they stopped talking or what.... The relationship went down hill...all the questions (where were u ...blah blah blah..) eventually messed up everything....Just be careful girl.... Cause girls r sneaky just like guys good luck with your relationship...But trust your heart and your instinct....
 
ummm wow a lot of guy hatin in here but i know where ur comin from i had a girl that keep callin this one guy like everyday and stuff and when i talk to her about it she would lie or change the subject but if he lie about that what if he lyin about somethin else? i dont know if that was good advice so ya
 
aim4night said:
roxy when a guy over compensates that means he is guilty too. being too lovey dovey with you & going out of his way to assure you is also a sure sign.

when you question him make sure he isnt lookin away for long and can look you straight on. look into his eyes, you will sense if he is bsing.

telling the girl usually only adds fuel to the fire. she is not your friend and has no loyalty to you.

you need to either make a serious ultimatum to your man or take it for face value.
i suggest you tell your man if he continues to be sneaky you want out of this relationship. you deserve a man who wants you and doesnt need a 3 party.

HE IS NOT BEING TOO LOVEY DOVEY, HE IS THE SAME AS HE WAS BEFORE ALL THIS CRAP CAME DOWN. SO NO HE IS NOT OVER DOING IT. HE IS STILL THE SAME. HE HAS MADE THE ULTAMTUM, HE KNEW I DIDNT LIKE IT SO HE QUIT ALL TIES.AND SO SHE HAS TOLD ME TOO.
 
Sounds like this girl needs to step off. She should not be calling your man on his phone. There is something going on if you ask me, but that is my opinion. If she was friends with you both then she should have enough respect to call you and see how things are going not step over your toes. Your man sounds like he does not mind the attention. Just take it as it comes and you will see soon enough if they are really just friends. A guy does not like to be questioned, when you stop showing that you care then the tables turn...........
 
well i am glad that your man is interested in saving your relationship. i hope that the girl stays away and finds her own man. if she continues to call maybe you should pay a visit to her home and set her straight.:joker
 
aim4night said:
well i am glad that your man is interested in saving your relationship. i hope that the girl stays away and finds her own man. if she continues to call maybe you should pay a visit to her home and set her straight.:joker


YOU MEAN LIKE A GOOD PHUKIN ASS WOOPIN? I ALREADY HAVE MY BOOTS ON GIRL!!! I WOULD BE ALL OVER HER A** LIKE WHITE ON RICE.... YOU KNOW THIS!!!! :dancepuff
 
lol well i hope it doesnt get physical but i think if you have a eye to eye convo. maybe she'll get the point.
 
aim4night said:
roxy when a guy over compensates that means he is guilty too. being too lovey dovey with you & going out of his way to assure you is also a sure sign.

when you question him make sure he isnt lookin away for long and can look you straight on. look into his eyes, you will sense if he is bsing.

telling the girl usually only adds fuel to the fire. she is not your friend and has no loyalty to you.

you need to either make a serious ultimatum to your man or take it for face value.
i suggest you tell your man if he continues to be sneaky you want out of this relationship. you deserve a man who wants you and doesnt need a 3 party.



......Yep. So keep that in mind also Roxygurl.
 
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