Need a Lil Help

🤖 AI Summary

No AI summary has been generated for this thread yet.
Heavenly

Heavenly

New member
Joined
Jun 26, 2001
Messages
14,487
Reaction score
2
Points
0
Location
Tampa, FL
I have a friend who is in a dilemna and as much as I try to help her I can't seem to find the right words .....so I'm asking for some advice from my CF Familia

My friend has been dating her Boyfriend for ummmm 3 1/2 years and she TRULY MADLY DEEPLY Loves him. He treats her right and loves her very much. I have never met this guy but from the way she talks about him I'm in awe and I know that he is a GREAT Guy! Ok here's the catch....she met someone online about a year ago. After chatting with this guy ....they finally met and well to make story short she has fallen for him. He has already tried to pursade her to leave her current boyfriend for him. She has decided to stay with the one she truly loves but still feels guilty at just thinking of another.

Ok hope I got all the facts straight....sooo please help my friend out.....we'll come back later to check some responses 🙂
 
HAHAHAHAA!! Oh man...I dont get it!

Shes madly in love with her man for 31/2 years...and she on the DL talked to a guy for a year and met...and she likes him too.

🙄

I feel sorry for her man. 🙁 Wow...talk about not being a full open woman with the person you share your heart and body with many nights all nights.

Dayum crazy ass people!!!

~Antonio
 
i think what Heaven was trying to say is that a girl is confused between the two people... her man whom she loves, and her new guy whom she's amuzed with. It does happen that after such long term relationships people tend to find a new someone rather interesting and mysterious.

I've been there...

And it's not about her being open to her man, it's about her not being able to realize a way to go. I mean ur with someone this LONG and then you think u two are meant to be, but hten one day a man comes along and ur swept.. that makes u think if ur man is really the only one for u.
 
Yeah but thats no reason for one to be sneaky about it and not tell your man about it. I mean 31/2 years is time spent. Nights spent..intimately spent. Why not tell him? Why hide it? Thats so dirty...thats so low to do with the person you so much say you love.

~Antonio
 
🙄

that's unfair to her man I agree... but what if she never done anything with that duy... and she's just confused about the whole thing.... u find that dirty too?
 
Mmkay here's my take on it and NO OFFENSE meant to anyone...

If you are in a relationship...WHY go looking for something else? If you are not happy in that relationship...either fix things so that they are right for you or get out of the relationship! When something like this happens all it does is ruin an additional persons life! Well maybe thats too strong of a word but it brings in another person that does not need to be in the equation.

:crap
 
Listen

Girls wonder why men are dogs...but truth is...a lot of us great men get the bad end of the stick too. Its 50/50

If you gonna spent time of your life with someone...and you gonna whisper in his or her ear I LOVE YOU then whats the point? Whats the point in persuing someone else? Are you that cold...to hurt that person you said I LOVE YOU too in the sense of not telling him that you are seeing someone else? It doesnt matter if she didnt do nothing with that person...the thing is...how would she feel if her man did this to her??? Im sure she wouldnt like it. Sure probably nothing happened but still ITS WRONG.

If you are tired of your relationship...get the phuck out. Don't hurt a person's heart...because what comes around goes around. 🙂

Because the guy is intriguing and mysterious? Yeah but Im sure girls found that in her man in the beginning too. 😉

~Antonio
 
It happens to all of us at one time or another. You think of someone else. You can love pizza but some times you crave peperoni!!!!! Does not mean you don't love pizza. Ask yourself if you have ever seen a hottie and thought the dirty thought or like damm very nice!!!! I personally think if your out meeting with people while your dating for three years, then that should be your sign that something is missing.

But what do i know!!!!!


Peace!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Enigma...sometimes it's just not that easy to tell someone whom you've been with for so long that your love is fading! Nobody likes to feel pain or be the cause of someone's pain. But, sometimes we all need a little spark in our lives to wake us up! We get so used to our partners and at times being with them can become boring and repetitive. Love is such a powerful word!!! Love is such a powerful feeling. It consumes us so quickly. But sometimes we think we've found our true love. Like Heaven said...he sounds like a great guy....but is he truly meant for her? She's the only one who knows. She has to decide if she wants to take the chance of finding out if it's truly him or the new guy. It may be neither!

It's like a job. Some of us have great jobs with good benefits and salary. You may have been there for many years and are very secure there. But at times we're not happy with our jobs and start looking at the classifieds to see what's out there. You may consider a career change. But you're secure at your present job and have seniority. Do you leave that job and take on a whole new one and start at the bottm again? Or do you keep the security of the old job? Same concept. Very hard choice!
 
It's like a job. Some of us have great jobs with good benefits and salary. You may have been there for many years and are very secure there. But at times we're not happy with our jobs and start looking at the classifieds to see what's out there. You may consider a career change. But you're secure at your present job and have seniority. Do you leave that job and take on a whole new one and start at the bottm again? Or do you keep the security of the old job? Same concept. Very hard choice!


__________________


AMEN MEYA WOOOOO

I have never been torn with 2, but if you are allowing your heart to wander even the slightest, then there it is crystal clear..

I hope she makes the decision that is good for HER that she can live with morally..:hearton
 
MEYA....WELL SAID GIRL...:yeey...COMING FROM FIRST HAND I'M IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT SO FAR IT'S BEEN 3 1/2 YRS. SOMETIMES I EVEN QUESTION MY LOVE FOR THIS PERSON IS IT THAT I LOVE HIM LIKE THE FIRST TIME I MET HIM OR IS IT THAT I'M SO USED TO HIM THAT I'M CONFUSED...THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR FRIEND (HEAVENLY) HAVING THIS OUTSIDE RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS GUY FROM THE NET....MAYBE SHE WANTS SOME REASSURANCE OF WHAT SHE REALLY FEELS FOR HER MAN? WHO KNOWS OR MAYBE JUST A "FLING" NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT....SEE NO EVIL HEAR NO EVIL....WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW WONT' HURT YOU...AS LONG AS HER MAN DOESN'T FIND OUT....SORRY FOR SAYING THIS ENIGMA BUT THIS IS PART OF LIFE....IT HAPPENS TO THE BEST OF US....EVEN WHEN YOUR DEEPLY IN LOVE...

NOW FOR HER TO LEAVE HER BOYFRIEND FOR THIS GUY IS A MAJOR STEP...MAKE SURE SHE'S PREPARED AND SURE OF WHAT SHE'S DOING...
 
What does that mean - "it happens when you are deeply in love"???

I don't agree with that at all, personally....

But, hey - to each his/her own..

If you are deeply into someone, you wouldn't even consider looking elsewhere at all, the thought wouldn't cross your mind because you are so consumed by that person..

That oldies song sums it up.. "I only have eyes for you"...

I guess I am old-fashioned in that respect..
 
bellaregazza said:
What does that mean - "it happens when you are deeply in love"???

I don't agree with that at all, personally....

But, hey - to each his/her own..

If you are deeply into someone, you wouldn't even consider looking elsewhere at all, the thought wouldn't cross your mind because you are so consumed by that person..

That oldies song sums it up.. "I only have eyes for you"...

I guess I am old-fashioned in that respect..
Click to expand...

WHAT I MEAN BY THIS IS THAT EVEN THOUGH YOUR DEEPLY IN LOVE DOESN'T MEAN YOU WILL NEVER CHEAT....THAT'S JUST PART OF LIFE...NOT EVERYONE IS OLD FASHIOND...WHY DO YOU THINK SO MANY MEN WHEN THEY HAVE IT ALL THEY WILL JUST WALK AWAY FROM LOVE FOR NO REASON....PEOPLE JUST GIVE UP PERIOD.
 
Wow Guys thanks for the Advice....my friend will DEFINITELY read this. 😉 KEEP THEM COMING!

As for my insight....I have to agree with Meya and Chula. I agree what my friend has been doing is harmless...she met someone via the internet and apparently he has the qualties she likes and they share something in common. She spends alot of time on the computer so this person and her became really close. I'm going thru the same situation I have a crush on someone I met via the internet (but thats another thread....LOL) he and I were just friends, someone I was able to relate to and well look what happened. Yes my story IS different because I'm not seeing anyone but I can understand why my friend is sooo drawn to this man. I don't think she is "lacking" from her relationship, just basically found someone else who may share the same views, dreams, and fantasies as she did. So after thinkin that her boyfriend was the one and only person whom she could relate to and then finding this other person.....she is now questioning....IS my BF THE ONE FOR ME!!!! YES I LOVE HIM, BUT IS HE THE ONE???

OK did I make any sense....LOL! :stoned
 
HEAVENLY I'M GLAD WERE ON THE SAME PAGE...SOME PEOPLE GET MAD CUZ I TELL IT HOW IT IS...BUT HEY I LIVE IN THE REAL WORLD NOT IN FANTASY LAND...SHIT HAPPENS YOU KNOW? AND YOU SAID IT YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU LOVE SOMEONE DOESN'T MEAN HE'S THE ONE FOR YOU....PEOPLE FALL FOR THE WRONG PERSON (I SEE IT HAPPENING ALL THE TIME...EVEN ME) SO DOES THAT MEAN I SHOULD BE WITH THIS PERSON FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE....ABSOLUTELY NOT....THIS IS NOT THE 1800'S YOU CHOOSE WHO YOU WANT TO BE WITH AND THAT'S THAT....AND HEARTBRAKES ARE PART OF LIFE...WELL YOU KNOW THIS HEAVENLY....YOU TRIP AND YOU GET RIGHT BACK UP....😉
 
Yea Chula we're on the same page (btw....it isn't me who needs the advice....LOL) I think my friend truly loves her man not only because she loves him, but I think it has a lot to do with comfortness.....she knows her man is dependable, he's there for her, he's like her safety blanket. I am NOT saying she doesn't love him, but once you have something that fits soo well you're afraid to let go Seeing this new NEW person "blanket" ....its all new and has lots of mystery so its intriguing
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top