My Wish has come true

[Mandy]

Ive been dreaming for the past 13 months to move in with my sweet love Moey :1luv Now it has finally happened!!! We've been living together for almost one month now....it isnt as easy as i thought! I dont want our "honeymoon" phase to end already....i dont think it has....but why do we keep arguing!!?? Im 22 and hes almost 21. We are in love....but can living together ruin everything 😱 ??? I hope not. I was wondering if any of you have any advice.....how do you keep things running smoothly when ur living together?

PS i put up a poll

 

[ChuckD]

Well........................

Don't be offended, I mean no harm.

I judge no one, and if living with someone is good for you, then go for it.

All I know is, to me, living together is a big commitment, one step short of marriage. If I'm good enough to live with, then I'm good enough to marry, so just get married and get it over with.

If you don't want to get married to me, I certainly don't want to live with you.

I'm not sure how realistic this frame of mind is for me, being a gay man. I'm not sure how many gay men want to "get married" but I'm not settling for anything less.

 

[Enigma]

Originally posted by Mandy

but why do we keep arguing!!??

Oh snap thats kinda crazy. What exactly is getting in the way?!?

I feel if you're living together its GREAT! 😀

That is my opinion...of course for me later on I have to marry.

~Antonio

 

[Mandy]

My wish is O-V-E-R

Why does love hurt so much??? Why is that when you think you know whats going on in your relationship the other person shakes it up....and your emotions are flipped all around and your left clueless...helpless and all alone.

Well ill give some advice to myself.....fighting is a bad a sign if youre living together. im living proof of that.

Guess what i moved back home last night....:crap Here i am on my computer at my parents house....with a broken dream that lasted only one month.

What exactly is getting in the way?!?

Hes not happy with himself and his life and he just realized it yesterday i guess...he decided he wants to move to NY and actually take life seriously....and go to school etc. he never took anything serious before me. i always encouraged him to be everything be the best. i sacrificed so much and got so little. i guess i should feel good because he wants to do what i always told him to do make his life better. But can someone really change if they always did poorly in school, drank and partied and was never financially independent and had everything handed to him on a silver platter.

he told me that i am wrong and that LOVE shouldnt always come first in life. :realsad Maybe ill learn that one day.....

i called him this morning and he forgot it was monday and was late for work......he still hasnt decided whether hes moving or staying with me....im so weak right now im letting him pick.

how did it go wrong :0( :'( :'(

 

[NJJOEY]

OK please no one get offended by this.

Only giving advice from past experience and what i have seen through others.

Here it is:

I think it is a good thing ot live together, it's kind of a trial test for marriage. They say you really do not know someone until you live with them, which i believe is true.
It is a big responsibility to live with someone, there are many things that lets face it, HAVE TO BE DONE!
You have laundry, cooking, cleanning, food shopping, the list goes on and on, you get the idea. Now for you two to get by this you must both come to a half way point so do speak, like an unwritten rule to follow. I know this may sound stupid, but things need to be a 50 50 split. Or you can do things together. Either way, one can not do it all! The stress, and the agrivation will eventualy get to you, and you will find yourselves argueing over stupid things. I hate to say it but, if you are argueing now alot, what do you think it will be like 2 years from now, 5 years from now (if you last that long the way you are going). Eventualy one of you will wake up and say what am i doing coming home to listen to this everyday!

One can only take so much, before he or she cracks. Comunication is key, and you both need to sit down and talk about this stuff on a serious level, if you want to over come this. Love is strong but if you are constantly argueing and getting on each others nerves, i doubt that love will truly prevail. If you truly love each other, sitting down to talk and come to a compromise will definetly help you two out. Just trying to help you guys out, i do not like to see people hurt. Hey i was in love once a long time ago too, and one of these days i will re capture that moment.

Give it a shoot, what have you got to lose by talking to each other and solving your problems like adults. You love each other, you can get through this no doubt!

You go MAMA! Best of luck!

Take it one day at a time.

Joey

 

[Mandy]

Thanks enigma, chuckd n njjoey for the replies! Wow its amazin how relationships can change so quickly. One day you think everything is ok and the next day your partner totally shocks you with unexpected news....like moving away. i cant deal with someone even thinkin about movin or leaving me....so i ran away before i could get hurt more. i took half my stuff out when he told me he was thinkin about going to NY to move for financial reasons....he seemed to have had his mind made up that was what he wanted to do. it seemed more like a decision he made without me rather than truly thinkin about it and discussing it with me, you know.
i think living together is a trial test for sure, but if you arent ready to move in it might not show you the true outcome if you werent ready to do it. i think you have to be happy with yourself and have a job you like before you move in with the love of your life, cuz you have to be happy with your life first i think and then everything falls better in to place.
youre right things should be 50 50 sometimes i felt like i was tryin harder....he tried to dont get me wrong...he does love me i feel it in my heart n he shows me just not all the time.

"If you truly love each other, sitting down to talk and come to a compromise will definetly help you two out"

were planning on talkin tomorrow...our rents due april 1st....he called me tonight upset....i guess you dont know what u have til its gone. he realized that in two days. now he wants to not go to ny and be with me....but i dont trust him not to want to leave again when things arent goin the way he wants. I still love him.....

thanks for the advice !!! njjoey im sure you will fall in love again someday soon ....im definitely taking it one day at a time....at least i know he feels something in his heart....and i know hes hurtin now that im gone.

 

[Enigma]

You're welcome Mandy.

So you move in together...happily knowing and wanting things to be bright and he decided in mind to move to NYC and he didnt talk this over with you? 🙄

And now he's feelin it and now wants back.

Ehh he's gonna do something else stupid down the road. :crap

~Antonio

 

[NJJOEY]

Your very welcome Mandy, only trying to help out.

Enigma, i think your right, he will get her back then screw up again once everything is comfortable.

Mandy just be cool about it, do not rush yourself back into this stage, its not worth it, and you will find yourself hurting even more.

Good luck girl!