major q? to ask everyone???

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vaproductions

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ok the other day i was talking to my little brother and he told me that my niece(18 yrs old) called his wife and talked to her about her having sex with other guy's(only 2) this is the first time she's ever done this,HERE'S the thing she told my sister in law that she's been late(on her .) now as an uncle should i be more mad that my niece is having sex too young,or that my sister let's her daughter alone with other guy's with no parent supervision??? i don't wanna take it out on my niece,because sex is a normal thing BUT that's not how we raised her..she doesn't know that we(the uncle's know) she did tell her mom about it though..i don't know maybe i'm freaking out over nothing, SO HOW SHOULD I HANDLE THIS??????????......vapro
 
Vapro! I wouldn't be too hard on her if I were you. You run the risk of alienating her. She's 18 and technically an adult regardless of how she was raised. That will be her arguement. Be there to support her if needed. 🙂
 
I agree with Krystal

2nd, I think you have to think about when was the first time you had sex? I mean were you over 18, did you tell your parents.
3rd, it may not be your place to tell your sister how to raise her kids, I mean with the whole supervison thing
Also as an uncle, I can see how you are concerned but your not her dad. Lastly I think that by your neice telling her mom, thats a great thing. I mean there is an open relationship and what not. I told my mom when I had sex. I know it may sound wierd, but I have a great relationship with my mother and she trust my judgment.

Now on the other hand, if your neice is not being smart about it, maybe you should tell her mom that she should have a talk with her. Its a pretty tough situation. good luck hun🙂
 
ok so far..........

i'm see-ing this as a one sided thing meaning i should just shut up and stay out of it?? i will alway's support my niece,fiery--the first time i had sex i was in my mid 20's and both my parent's passed away before i can share that with them(u brought up a bad memory for me) but i do thank u for you'r word's,it's just i fell weird that my neice MIGHT be going down the wrong road.........vapro
 
Vaprooooooooooooo!!!!!! 🙁 We are not saying to stay out of it papi but don't be so hard on her. She is an adult and capable of making her own decisions. No one likes to think of their nieces or nephews growing up and yes...it's your right to feel weird about the whole situation but it's not for you to tell her she was wrong in what she did.
 
Re: ok so far..........

vaproductions said:
i'm see-ing this as a one sided thing meaning i should just shut up and stay out of it?? i will alway's support my niece,fiery--the first time i had sex i was in my mid 20's and both my parent's passed away before i can share that with them(u brought up a bad memory for me) but i do thank u for you'r word's,it's just i fell weird that my neice MIGHT be going down the wrong road.........vapro
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i'm sorry hun, I was just giving you my advice on it. I didn't mean to bring up a bad memory:crap Its true what Krystal said that you have to realize that she is getting older and you have every right to feel wierd hun... I hope it all works out
 
well she is 18 but also you can express it to her that sexs isnt a game...hopefully she uses protection and the other partners and hopefully just cuz she got the taste of it that she doesnt just go out and just do it with anyone...i had a friend who just go here and there and now she regrets it...at this time knowing she lost what is precious to her and u could never get it back that she knows the differeances between sexs and love..i waited til i was 23 ..1 man and that means alot ..the way things are now adays..its like you have to do it in order to keep someone and that is so wrong but she is old enough but i hope her mind is straight on things and not develope a reputation...having a relationship with her mom is great too..im spanish and spanish family are hard on there daughters and trust me i have a strict father with strict morals and values and i thank God til this day that i wasnt one of those statistic a mother with a bunch of kids with different fathers or go on drugs or disrespect my parents, i have a son who is 8 and i talk to him alot about things ..u never know what path she'll take ,hopefully its a path where she knows it isnt a game and to respect herself as well..you can have a relationship with her and talk too..and just let her know to be careful out there, there are alot of creeps out there and that know a person before anything happens in which you cannot turn the clock back in time once u get pregnant..just be a friend to her cuz i dont know if she has a father..you can do that too..be there for her like im there for my son...dont worry about butting in just let her know that u r there for her on anything
 
unfrotunatly hon in this day and age people are having sex earlier than usual. Just trust her and express what you are feeling, don't scream at her but let her know you care. asure her that waiting is a good thing. Maybe from a guys point of view she will understand a little better on what the opposite sex thinks. Be patient. don't yell and tell her that you love her and want whats best for her.
 
WELL DAMN AT LEAST THE GIRL WAITED TILL SHE WAS 18 I HAVE ONE THAT IS YOUNGER THAN HER AND ALL I COULD DO WAS ADVISE BECAUSE SHE DID IT ALREADY AND THERE IS NO WAY OF STOPPING HER FROM DOING IT AGAIN..HOW AND WHEN IT HAPPENED IS IRREVELANT...PREVENTION WOULD'VE BEEN COOL BUT KIDS THESE DAYS ARE STARTING AS EARLY AS 14..WHAT ARE WE AS CONCERNED ADULTS TO DO ABOUT IT? ALL WE CAN DO IS ADVISE THEM ABOUT PREGNANCY AND DISEASES.
 
i know what u mean........

i have a good friend that had a kid when she was 14 yrs old,she had to drop out of middle school because of it..... and i know she's an adult know,and i will alway's support her,it's just we(all my brother"s and sister)did'nt raise her to be easy(not saying she is??)i just wished she would have wait-ed a little longer.hope-fully the next time i see her we'll talk about it,and of corse i'll talk with her nice'ly i had no intensions on make-ing her feel bad about what she did,BUT as a uncle i wanna meet the boy she was with.......vapro
 
yeah that way when you see him you can put the fear of God in him and he won't play himself. LOL. You sound like you are a good uncle. she lucky to have someone like you there for her.
 
Vapro darlin,

In this day and age, kids grown up alot quicker than back in the day you know? not they mature quicker but they are quicker to want to be grown up. you understand. Now what's done is done, it can't be changed, hopefully it's just stress you know? WOmen go through body changes when they are stressed. but if happens that she isn't then maybe your sis should sit with her talk to her women to women mother to daughter and friend to friend. Take her to a gynocologist to get on birth control, and tell her that if she thinks she is grown up enough to make this desicion then to at least be smart enough not to get pregnant. I was 19 when I had my first son, I missed out on alot , I mean I don't regret it now, because things fall into place after a while, but definitely be there for her as a friend more than an uncle at this point you know? I mean if it does turn out that she is, what to do about it now?

Anyway I am rambling on.. Good Luck babe.
 
well to input on Naya's post, I understand that it's frustrating yes! but as most of you who know me, I had my daughter when I was 15, yes ppl 15 and I was alone through it all. It does make u mature alot quicker but in the end like Naya put, we miss out on alot. If she's going to have sex tell her to be careful and responsible about it. If she has plans for her future then her getting pregnant could put a strain on what she has in store for the rest of her life. Hope it works out for her and for you! 😀
 
thank u all.................

for all you'r word's of advice,lamatrix thank u very much for saying that,i try to be all i can be.nyasia,nessa,thank you.i hope my niece is talking to my sister about all this? but the thing that bother's me and my brother's my sister not as brite as us(iknow that sounds cold,but it's true)😱 well hopefully everything will turn out all good(i hope)............vapro
 
JUST BE GLAD THAT SHE FELT COMFERTABLE TELLING SOMEBODY! DONT GET ANGRY BECAUSE THIS HAPPENS TO EVERYONE, MY COUSIN HAD TO TELL HER FREIND WHICH I WOULDNT TRUST TO GO TO THE GYNECOLOGIST TO SEE IF SHE WAS PREGNANT, I WOULD HAVE RATHER HER TELL ME OR AN AUNT. LETS SEE WHAT HAPPENS KEEP YOUR COOL THE MORE YOU SAY NO THE MORE IT MAKES A PERSON EAGER TO GO AND DO IT.. GOODLUCK VAPS..MUAHZZZZ
 
She is old enough to make that decision, thoough I truely don't agree with it my self, but thats her decision. People learn from their own mistakes better than some one else helping them out with it. I know this is a two sided thing, but my best advise is to just be there for her. Especially if she might have a little-1. God bless & good luck!!!

†oNe†
 
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