love....? nothing what you expect!!

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Desejo

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Once again I got screwed. I try so hard just to deal with my life for once instead of concentrating on getting "hooked" up like i used to. But still, females have to screw me over. WOMEN~? tell me... what do you really want? I am a 24yr old who was living in NY(upstate) for a few years and i just moved back to MA 6 months ago and planned on dedicating my life to me. I wanted to get my goals in line and accomplish them. Anyways~ I thought that out of the blue, she fell out of the sky... but i guess i was wrong... i am looking for a girl who is done with the party scene, that enjoys tunes, and likes to go out every ONCE IN AWHILE, well, this chick had told me that she was that kind of girl onyl to find out different the hard way. I dont even think I wanna be around females anymore, but i cant help being a romantic, i want to hold someone every night and fall asleep next to her, and start a family some day.... i need to know~ what is it? what is it that you females want??? seriously... theres got to be something more... that your not telling us... i am in dire straights to know. HELP... i am not sad enough to take my own life... i never would be... i just cant stand not knowing... "THEY" TELL ME NOT TO LOOK FOR HER AND SHELL SHOW UP.... WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!! iwasnt looking, well, then again, i always am in the back of my head...? peace

LaterZ

DJ Desejo
aka Brett
aka confusious
 
DjDesejo.. I am so sorry that happened to you... trust me I've been there and it doesnt seem to get any better!! I too am wanting to know what men want... I see this love thing goes both ways.. All my life I've been hurt and I finally give up. I am so tired of being hurt.. anyways this isnt about me, hehe as for you desejo you wanting to know what we women want.. well we want a good,honest,funny,smart,devoted man and I bet you are all of what I just mentioned. See the problem is with us women as well as you men is that one gets real bold when one knows we are loved. Once we know that person loves us we think and actually know that we can do things and get away with whatever it is we do and know that person will be around. But let me tell you one thing theres just so much a person can take, and I'm sure you know that. As a women deso we too are confused about you fellas.. I guess we are always attracted to the what doesnt suit us. I dont have comforting words for ya desejo.. cause I dont believe in them for a sec. At least not right now. I totally understand where you are coming from. They say if you love someone show them and tell you to the fullest extent.. but once you do that nothing but sadness and sorrow follows.. people take advantage of the love and respect you have for them. You give em your all.. and in return you get nothing!! See personally I am not like that at all.. only people who have been through it know and understand. I know I didnt make you feel better desejo... I just wanted you to know you are not alone.. and also that I understand you. And it feels better to hear from someone who has been through it verses someone who will say "oh its ok... keep searching" and they personally never been through it. Anyways don't mean to bore ya.. but if ever you wanna talk email me ok. Take care!! **SMOOCHES** Freestychica 🙂

Freestychica@Clubfreestyle.every1.net
 
HEY DJDESEJO!!!! WHAT WOMEN WANT?????? HMM , IF I KNEW THAT ANSWER I WOULD BE A MILLION AIR!!LOL BUT LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU, PATIENCE IS THE WHOLE KEY. I TOO HAVE BEEN HURT, AND I ALWAYS HAVE THIS LIL WALL UP FROM GETTING HURT AGAIN. IT'S HARD FINDING THE RIGHT ONE TO LOVE, THEN AGAIN YOU DON'T CHOSE WHO YOU WANT TO LOVE, IT JUST COMES NATURALLY. I HAVE BEEN ON THE DATING SEEN FOR THE PAST 3 YEARS AND I JUST KEEP RUNNING INTO DEAD ENDS. MY LUCK WITH THE LADIES ALSO HASN'T BEEN THAT GREAT, I HAVE DATED WOMEN WHO HAVE STALKED ME, AND HAVE TURNED PSYCHO AND HAVE DONE THE UNBELEIVABLE!!!!LOL I YET HAVEN'T MET A NORMAL ONE, WITH THE EXCEPTION WITH ONE OR TWO, BUT THAT'S A DIFFERENT STORY. MY LUCK JUST AINT GOING NO WHERE WITH THE LADIES. I AM A VERY EASY GUY TO SATISFY, I JUST NEED A COMFORTING HUG TO FULLFILL MY EVERY NEED FROM THAT PERSON. BUT I DON'T LET ANYONE GET IN THE WAY OF WHAT I HAVE TO DO FOR MYSELF AND MY FUTURE. I KEEP MY SELF BUSY AND I GO OUT AND HAVE A GREAT TIME AND NOT WORRY ABOUT ANYONE ELSE. JUST KEEP IT COOL AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, REMEMBER IT'S NOT ONLY YOU WHO FEELS THIS WAY, THERE'S MANY OTHERS!!!

ANTHONY AKA FREESTYLE LOVER
 
Oh don't even let me go there!!!!!!!

I can tell you what it is straight out!! We are all crazy and we go for people who are either crazy or who will make us crazy!!!

Guys want the good girl in front of their friends and family, but they want her to be a bad girl behind closed doors.
And girls want the bad boy in public, but they want the good guy behind closed doors.

The solution??? Date in the doorway!!!!!!!
 
Jade...... I was hoping you'd post some type of advice for Djdesejo... hey you read my mind.**LOL** I was gonna ask you to come here and give Dj words of comfort. Freestychica
 
aIghtY GuyZ....

i hear ya... I too anthony am looking to be held and someone to keep me warm @ night. My kitty aint doin the job. I need some human compassion. Thanks for taking the time to write guys, but it still doesnt help my cause. I feel so shitty, only a 8 months ago me and my long-term chica broke it off...well, i had to break it off... She had an abortion behind my back... And like you said Anthony... I have put up this wall in the TRUST department, so now its hard forme to trust females. I was with Jen for 2 1/2 years. I dunno. I guess I know what I want...

I WANT A WOMAN WHO WILL GUIDE ME BACK TO THE PROMISE LAND. All I want is a woman to lead me in the right direction and I'll make it worth her time. I guess we all need to realize that we have all been hurt and we just need some guidance to be able let another HEART and SOUL back in.

I WANT A WOMAN TO BE LIKE AN OAK TREE... silly? think about it... when i wsa growing up i used to go to this oak tree and write me thoughts and to cry and to be alone.. the branches hovered over me and i felt safe. I trusted the oak tree with my life. And the oak tree looked so fragile yet it was built in deep with truth. Thats what I want my woman to be like. Beautiful and Honest. Inside and Out, someone I can go to when i want to be ALONE. (alone to cry or to just have a hug.)

Something to think about,

DJDesejo@aol.com
aka Brett
 
she was wrong...

Not about having the abortion but about doing it behind your back.
I can't make a comment on the abortion because that's a choice everyone has to make for themselves. I don't agree with it, I wouldn't do it, but I was there for a friend who went and one herself. I felt horrible for being part of it, but I would have felt worse for turning my back on her. Her boyfriend was there too, he was part of the decision.

You want bad though? I was crazy in love with this guy. We NEVER (and I really mean never) fought. His parents loved me, my parents loved him, we all got along. It was perfect. I realized what I wanted by being with him, not by anything he said but just how he was with me.
Well one day he came over unexpectedly (he was so busy with work our time was always planned) and I thought he was going to pop the question. He said it all.. "You know how much I love you, you're great, you're funny, and beautiful, and honest and trustworthy and i respect and you're understanding, you're not a nag, our families love ach other and us, you'll be a wonderful mother and an incredible wife..." and here I am ready, with this perma smile on my face, ready to say yes and he says "but I don't want to be with you anymore". Can we say kicked in the teeth??
Took me two years to recover... there's more but I won't go into it. Let's just say he came back to me and I said I wouldn't have anything to do with outside friendship.

So tell me, with all those qualities why I'm not with someone? You'd think I would be, right? Guys, the only answer I have for myself and for you, is that these people weren't THE ONE. They weren't for us.
I believe that every person in our life is there to serve some kind of purpose. For me, he was there to show me what being in love was like so the next time it happened I would recognize it. And he also was there to help me realize what I truly wated out of life and what I wanted to do with my life. Do I hate him? No. I'll always love him in one little corner of my heart. But he wasn't for me.

So you can do one of two things, you can date all kinds of people till you find the one (I didn't do that). Or you can wait and be more selective of the people you date, because you realize what you have is too precious to waste just giving it to everybody (and I'm talking about your heart, nevermind sex, although you can include that). It's also emotionally draining and can be depressing when each time you realize that person isn't the one for you.

God, we're really get deep in here!!!
Ok, I'm outtie friends is on!!!
 
YOU SEE DJDESEJO!!! EVERYONE HAS BEEN HEART BROKEN BEFORE, IT'S JUST A PART OF LIFE. IT JUST TAKES TIME FOR PEOPLE TO GET OVER IT, AND SOMETIMES THAT FEELS LIKE AN ETERNITY. TO START OVER IS EVEN HARDER, BUT EVENTUALLY IT WILL HAPPEN.. SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!! AND KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!!

ANTHONY AKA FREESTYLE LOVER
 
thanks again peoples

but i feel madd wierd. Her and i... Christine~ I think we are done but i am in that inbetween stage where we both are madd and not talking but... I called her tonight and shes going clubbing after she admitted to me that clubs are meat markets... and if ur taken either go with your partner or dont go at all... and now shes going to one and si at one right now while i sit here at home... shes prolly jumping someones bones right now but... i dont know, i just know its hard for me to trust... been hurt way too much and just want someone to be there and UNDERSTAND... she says she wouldnt cheat and she said it tonight, so i guesss where still together, but MY QUESTION NOW IS...

IS IT WORTH IT TO TRY TO MAKE IT WORK OR SHOULD I TELL HER SHES NOT THE ONE... i am not trying to beg or anything for her LOVE but you see what I am saying... uve all been here...? Think about it... if i tell her off... i could miss out on something that might work... if i try to make it work i could be wasting my time... LETS TAKE A VOTE... I PLAN ON KEEPING THIS UBJECT OPEN TILL I GET AT LEAST A TOTAL OF 50 VOTES... and then i can see the percentage of what I should do. I am done making these BS decisions on myown... I always tend to fukin makle the wrong decision... Ya hear?!?!?

LaterZ, and thanks FREAK for the input...gimme more..lol.

DJ Desejo
aka Brett
 
yo freak~ 2 things???

wazz ur vote??? stay away and she what she does??? let her make the next move??? is that what ur saying... well, there we have it folks VOTE # 1. Thanks freak...
thanks 4 putting me @ 10 replies..LOL
LaterZ PeopleZ...

DJ Desejo
aka Brett
 
you guys are'nt alone

wassup guys !
freestychica i agree with your posting , alot of gurls say that they want a good, honest, funny, smart, devoted man but i don't believe those words anymore, i too was heartbroken a few times and thought it was the end for me but i got blessed .. i got to meet someone who took her hand and erased all my pain and replaced it with only happiness..see good things come to those who wait..wrong..cause i was,that good guy,i wanted to do things only to make her feel the way she deserve to feel,loved,admired,respected,treasured and adored..and what i get 'nada' ...lol... just a kick in da butt to da moon .lol and i too was one of those guys who would stay home while she went out and did her 'thang' out there,and then thats when you know if you really care cuz you tend to hold it in and not mention it cuz you just wanna keep her happy,but you know what, its true, a person can only take so much abuse..sad huh ?.So basiclly what im trying to say is good guys always end up last ! that someone who blessed me with happiness also now encaged me in an eternal realm of solitude and depression but its ok cuz i got 1 thing out of it, that was i got to know how good it felt to love 1 last time like if it was my first true love,which it really was ! so becareful if you do find that someone in your life ,tell them and show them how you feel but not too much cause its true, after that sadnees and sorrow comes..Gurls wanna here exactly how you feel then they change, they go do dirt behind your back and know they can get away it cause we already told them how we feel for them..so gurls dont want good , sweet, romantic, trustworthy guys ,they prefer a*holes who always give them headaches or play them out, then they happy..so from reading my 20 page story here you can assume im heart broken and im living proof that good guys always end up in da curb..by themselves..i know i got off track here but i hope you guys understand me..and i hope this helps anyone who needs a lil advice..good luck and take care..
 
TIME...... and Family too!!!!!!

Hey guys!!

Not all girls are like that just like not all guys are like that. The trick is to take what was good from the relationship and carry it with you. Eventually you will find the person you're supposed to be with.
"It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all" I think that was Robert Keating who said that, not sure.
But it's true. It hurts to have had true love and then lose it, but would I rather not to have learned what love is and avoid the hurt? No way.

It's experience guys. It's what will make the one you marry your true love for real. All these experiences taught you compromise, love, trust, respect, what you do and don't want in a partner. You learned what things you would accept and what things are completely off limits. You learned what to watch for to see if things are going good or bad. You know more than when you first started out on this journey for love and a lifelong partner.

Consider it a job opening. You have been accepting resumes, conducting interviews and have even hired a temp or two (maybe more) but you have yet to find the person who will do the job so well that you promote them from a temp to a perm position.

Right now, you're hurting and that's okay. You need to hurt to heal and go on.
"...just walk away, just close the door, and let my life be as it was before, and i'll never never know, just how i let you go, there's nothing left to say, just walk away"
It's from a song by Celine Dion.
Everytime, I have had a bad breakup or I'm feeling sad or blue I listen to that songand it makes me feel better that someone else feels exactly the way I do. When I lost my first love all I wanted to have happen was for things to be like they were before I met him, because I didn't want to hurt any more. Now, I'm okay, but back then....I was a MESS!!! Time is the ultimate healer, it really and truly is.

And one other thing....don't suffer alone. I tried to be "strong" and never let it show because I didn't want to seem weak or without pride. Finally one day I couldn't take it anymore and I broke down crying to my mom. She didn't even know I was suffering or upset about what had happened, I had hid it so well. Then she started crying with me because when she asked me why I never came to her before I told her I didn't want her to think I was weak. That broke her heart, that I was so proud I didn't want to go to anyone and suffered alone. But you know what? Telling her did 2 things..#1 it brought me and her closer than we were before (which was pretty hard to do because we were already so close) and #2 it helped me get over him a lot easier, and get over the first hump a lot faster.

I'm not saying talk to your mom if you don't feel that you can, but I never really told anyone how bad I was hurting. Not my sister or my best friend. Nobody. They had an idea but every time they asked I changed the subject.

So talk to someone who's close enough to you that you trust them with your hurt. You'll feel alot better and it's an easier load to cary when you have someone helping you carry it.

Wow!! Any one want to know more about my life??? lol
It just takes time guys. It really does. And good friends and family for support. It's all you'll ever need!!
 
jade~

email me sometime babe. DJDesejo@aol.com, i like what you just wrote with the whole accepting applications paragraph... it made sense...wierd, but made sense... send me more of ur philosophies babe... hehe... maybe sooner or later, they will have private messanger on this thing...LOL....anyways... thanks and I am feeling ,much better today. Thanks~ LaterZ

DJ Desejo
aka Brett
 
Awwww you poor thing I'm so sorry to hear that! I went through a really bad relationship also. My bf went into the marines after awhile he stopped writing me and when he got home he just ended it with out saying why, we were together 11 months, but I had to go on with my life and now I'm looking for a new love. <3AngelBaby<3
 
unpredicatable~~~🙁

Love is too unpredictable. I like DEFINITES. I hate things that are unpredictable and that includes relationships. I mean I wish I had a gf, but, to go through a relationship and be untrusting after being hurt so much...? I dont know if relationships are even worth it sometimes. Valentines Day just reminds all of us single peoples that we are single. GAY!!!! but life goes on.

LaterZ

DJ Desejo
aka Brett
 
lmao...

dude, lol...djdesejo, dont sweat it papa. youre 24 years old? heh, we're babies man....dont let a little shorty rock ruin your day...'cause she'll be the one singing like charlie babe "i'll be missing you".like i said, youre young
and have mad time. dont rush things. play the role. have fun. when youre ever down, spin the one's &two's. and take a deep breath and forget the stress. (dang, i'm beginning to sound like Riki or Oprah lmao) it aint worth the loss of brain cells....i hope things work out for ya,kid. keep your head up.
PS- relationships are worth it, if you meet your true love. how long were u w/urgirlfriend?I guess everything in life is unpredictable. peeeeaceout,

the~EM.
 
Jade.....you made me cry! It's true though! Besides, its always good to have your moms close. Me and My moms are close too. You know what brought us together? I also broke down on her. She had no idea!

DJ......about that girl! I think you should let her go. Believe me it will be hard and it is but you will feel much better about yourself. You'll be heart broken but at least you know you stood up for YOURSELF and thought about YOUR feelings and being appreciative. If she ain't giving that to you then she just doesn't care. If she was the ONE for you, you wouldn't be home stressin' about if she jumped someones bones or not. Its not good for your mind and soul. Why dont you do what i'm doing. I'm in the healing and recovering stage. I pamper myself. Try on new makeup products and get my hair done. I even do Tei-BO so I can learn to kick his ass. (j/k) On the real......it works. I spend more time on school and visiting my neices and nephews and taking them out to the movies or sumptin'. Make them smile. At least I know they appreciate me.

My way to keep my mind clear is this website. I never met so many good people before. I Thank you's all.
Just keep your head up!
 
Awww..... you guys!!!

***Tania1380 -- I didn't mean to make you cry, but I'm glad in a way because I never thought anyone else went through that the way I did. My best friends are guys, so they break down (if you can even call it that) on me...which is cool. I'm glad that they can turn to me, and I turn to them too!

As for DJ, if he starts trying on makeup and stuff, he might find it somewhat harder to attract the kind of mate I think he's looking for!! lol I could be wrong, but it's just a thought!!! Not to worry though, Desejo!! I'll still love you!!! 😛

Someone mentioned how girls always say they want a nice guy but when they get him they treat him poorly. I had a thought about that and it works both ways for guys and girls. We are so used to dating a**holes and b*tches, that when someone truly, sincerely, and honestly nice comes along we don't know what to make of it. We think it's a scam, or that they're playing us, or that they're weird, or something's wrong with them. We are so accustomed to being mistreated that when someone treats us the way we want to be treated we're completely thrown off course. It's overwhelming.
Think about it, your dream, your wish is coming true, and we're all lead to believe that they don't really come true, so we're afraid to trust it. We figure he/she is trying to play me, screw me, f*ck with me, and I'm not going to let that happen. And so waht do we do? We decide to beat them at their own "game". Meanwhile they're the real thing and we're just so jaded by our experiences that we can't accept it's real. And that's how we end up screwing it up.

Anyone agree?
 
agree...

yupyup~ i agree jade, but i tend to feel as if good girls always want bad guys like DMX said... i think that if females could find the rugged yet sensitive guy they wud be happy~ well then guys prolly wud be happy if they found "girls to bring home to mom" yet had that "fuk me now" kinda attitude... so no one will ever win. we want the girls who love to make love yet, are the family type. Hare to get both, meanwhile females....

you chix just want the toughest, biggest guy that can cry while watching sleepless in seattle. hehe

LaterZ

DJ Desejo
 
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