Brklyn345
New member
Was I so bad you wished me dead?
It seemed that way for so many years
My only crime was being a kid
Did you resent me?
Do you hold me accountable for taking away your youth?
Are you jealous because I got to live mine?
Why would you hurt your only son, your only child?
You tell me you are proud of me when things are right
When things went wrong, you turned your back
Is it any wonder why I don't confide in you these days?
No, mother, I don't wonder
You beat me when I lie, and I'm no better off with the truth
Then tell me you are sorry
You knew the physical scars you inflicted
Till this day you never realized what you did to my psyche
The dreams......
The dreams I have of you.....
You are literally two different people...
The bad you is trying to kill me
While the good you tries to save me but never makes it
I wake up screaming for you, feeling my very life is on the line
You tell me it's my guilty conscience, and to go back to sleep
Then you sent me away.....and I hardly ever saw you
Too caught up in your own life to notice
Didn't even invite me to your wedding
You were never a parent when it counted, so you want to be one now
But see, I'm an adult now, and I learned to survive without you
Learned from my mistakes
But I really needed you when I made the really big ones
My only saving grace
Was that those years away from you made the dreams stop.....
That is until circumstances sent me spiraling....
Back into the hell I thought I had escaped from
The dreams start again....
Except this time it's just the evil you
And you no longer scare me
I scare myself because in the dream I run toward the evil you
Not away, like I did for so many years...
I long to hurt you the way you hurt me
Not in the physical sense
I would never lay a hand on you
Throughout all of this, somehow I love you
But I still want to make you pay
So I shut you out, the way you did me
I tell you to leave me the hell alone, because that's how I feel
But more so because I know it hurts you
But there is nothing I can do about this....
Shutting you out is my defensive mechanism, my shield
It's what you made me, part of who I am
But somehow I'm a better person instead of a homicidal maniac
Because even though those mistakes I made hurt like hell
I'm a survivor and I'm stronger now
I hear you are a spiritualistic person now
I hope your spirits can somehow convince me to forgive you....
Time will tell.....
But asking me yourself wouldn't hurt
It seemed that way for so many years
My only crime was being a kid
Did you resent me?
Do you hold me accountable for taking away your youth?
Are you jealous because I got to live mine?
Why would you hurt your only son, your only child?
You tell me you are proud of me when things are right
When things went wrong, you turned your back
Is it any wonder why I don't confide in you these days?
No, mother, I don't wonder
You beat me when I lie, and I'm no better off with the truth
Then tell me you are sorry
You knew the physical scars you inflicted
Till this day you never realized what you did to my psyche
The dreams......
The dreams I have of you.....
You are literally two different people...
The bad you is trying to kill me
While the good you tries to save me but never makes it
I wake up screaming for you, feeling my very life is on the line
You tell me it's my guilty conscience, and to go back to sleep
Then you sent me away.....and I hardly ever saw you
Too caught up in your own life to notice
Didn't even invite me to your wedding
You were never a parent when it counted, so you want to be one now
But see, I'm an adult now, and I learned to survive without you
Learned from my mistakes
But I really needed you when I made the really big ones
My only saving grace
Was that those years away from you made the dreams stop.....
That is until circumstances sent me spiraling....
Back into the hell I thought I had escaped from
The dreams start again....
Except this time it's just the evil you
And you no longer scare me
I scare myself because in the dream I run toward the evil you
Not away, like I did for so many years...
I long to hurt you the way you hurt me
Not in the physical sense
I would never lay a hand on you
Throughout all of this, somehow I love you
But I still want to make you pay
So I shut you out, the way you did me
I tell you to leave me the hell alone, because that's how I feel
But more so because I know it hurts you
But there is nothing I can do about this....
Shutting you out is my defensive mechanism, my shield
It's what you made me, part of who I am
But somehow I'm a better person instead of a homicidal maniac
Because even though those mistakes I made hurt like hell
I'm a survivor and I'm stronger now
I hear you are a spiritualistic person now
I hope your spirits can somehow convince me to forgive you....
Time will tell.....
But asking me yourself wouldn't hurt
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