I too is feeling guilty..

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ROXYGURL

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I need some sdvice as well. so here it goes. My son is 7 yrs old. he has seen his biological"sperm donor" 3 times in his life and it was always under the age of 1. So he doesnt remenber him. He just got out of prison. And know im recieving Child support $228.00 every 2 weeks. Fine. Heres the sticky situation: Ive been with my fiancee for 7 years now. He came into my sons life when he was 6 months old and has been raising him ever since. My son calls him daddy.I have another child with my fiancee as well. The "sperm donor" called my house and spoke to my fiancee. (for the first time) And was asking my man about Isaac(my son). My fiancee cant stand :sperm donor"!!! Well he had the nerve to as my fiancee if he can see Isaac and take him to his house for the weekend... OK MY SON HAS NEVER MET THIS GUY AND NOW HE WANTS TO STEP IN??? WTF????
My fiancee told him hell no, THATS MY SON! tHEN "SPERM DONOR" SAID WHAT THE HELL AM I PAYING FOR IF I CANT SEE HIM... OH WELL THATS HOW LIFE GOES! To make a long story short: Sperm donor wants to give up rights cause he cant pay child support-he has to work cause of his parole officer. I said i would do that-shit i will be more than happy to do that!!! That was 4 months ago i agreede to that... i havent filed shit! Just been taken the $$$$.Spending on the kids and bills. He called me yesterday and asked me again when am i going to do that. I told him that i did! Should i just keep milking for the $$$$ since he has never gave me a dime in my life??? Help!!!!!!!
 
HMM TOUGH QUESTION. if you dont want him to have contact with your son i would only take the money that is past due. then cut him off completely.
 
giiiirl, does he not know he dont "rent" his child. I hate when men say "I pay support, I should be able to see him". Thats bullcrap! I would definately continue receiving the support. He however has the right to see his child. If hes willing to give up rights, I doubt he will even go petition for visitations. So I say, continue to get the support. Maybe have him over YOUR house for the day or the both of you take your son out somewhere, I wouldnt just throw it on your son thats his "father" especially if it isnt going to be consistant. You dont want him in and out of his life when he has secure father figure at home.
 
Roxy, my sincerest advice to you is this..
talk to your son's biological father. Ask him if he wants to be a real and consistant father to his seed. Does he feel love for him or jealousy that another man is doing his job, and well I might add, at raising him. Would this knowledge of his real dad, upset or be detrimental to your sons well being at this time? If he truly wants to be a father out of love, then of course taking your fiance's feelings into consideration try to find an acceptable arrangement where Bio and son can slowly work on a relationship. Fiance shouldn't worry about this, kids know the foundation, he has the boys love, and will be dad no matter how bio's relationship with your son transpires. If it comes down to $, my advice is to leave it alone. If your fiance was doing it all this time it shouldn't be a problem. Peace of mind will be accomplished if there are no ties. But if he wants to see his son.. then he should continue to pay the support. Step up to the plate and be a real DAD.
Stay strong and Happy New Year
 
QUick question... How long has he been in jail? Reason for asking is if he's been in jail for 6-7 yrs. well he does have an excuse of not seeing his son.

And to find out about having him not give you money I'll suggest on going to family court or getting a lawyer and ask then the questions about the biological father seeing him and paying child support.

Go the legal way cause you don't want him to take you to court and make you seem like the bad parent and then you're forced to have him see his son.
 
Sounds like you fiancee is more a daddy to your son than his father. With that said why dont you have you fiancee adopt your son and get this loser out of his life. when your son is legal age let him go look for his dad if he wants. Just always reassure you son that he is loved by you and your fiancee and it will all be fine. But, dont keep him around for money reason. You know what I mean. If he is really want to give up his rights to his son that should be a red flag there. It's letting you know he really doesnt want anything with his son. It's just a parole condition he his full filling.

take care and good luck

tank
 
latinocop said:
QUick question... How long has he been in jail? Reason for asking is if he's been in jail for 6-7 yrs. well he does have an excuse of not seeing his son.

And to find out about having him not give you money I'll suggest on going to family court or getting a lawyer and ask then the questions about the biological father seeing him and paying child support.

Go the legal way cause you don't want him to take you to court and make you seem like the bad parent and then you're forced to have him see his son.
Click to expand...

IN AND OUT OF JAIL FOR 2 YEARS-ONLY. HE JUST HAD ANOTHER KID WITH HIS GIRL. NOW HE HAS 4!!!!THE THING IS I DONT WANT HIM TO SEE HIS BIO! AND OBVOIUSLY HE DOESNT WANT TO SEE HIM EITHER CAUSE HE WOULDNT BE SO QUIK TO GIVE UP HIS RIGHTS,AND I DIDNT HAVE TO ARGUE WITH HIM!HOW LAME IS THAT? :splat
 
tanktruck said:
Sounds like you fiancee is more a daddy to your son than his father. With that said why dont you have you fiancee adopt your son and get this loser out of his life. when your son is legal age let him go look for his dad if he wants. Just always reassure you son that he is loved by you and your fiancee and it will all be fine. But, dont keep him around for money reason. You know what I mean. If he is really want to give up his rights to his son that should be a red flag there. It's letting you know he really doesnt want anything with his son. It's just a parole condition he his full filling.

take care and good luck

tank
Click to expand...

YES MY FIANCEE IS HIS DADDY. HE'S BEEN THERE SINCE HE WAS 6 MONTHS. AND TOP IT OFF, HE WAS ONLY 15 AT THE TIME HE BECAME THE"DADDY"! WE ARE GETTING MARRIED MAY 8TH, 2005 AND THATS WHEN HE WILL LEGALLY ADOPT HIM. AND HIS BIO WILL HAVE NO RIGHTS TO HIM CAUSE HE IS GIVING UP THE RIGHTS.
 
man, sounds like you found you a good man. dont worry about this loser. when he's all old and by himself or in the pen. his conscience will get to him. he will remember his son and by then it will be to late. good luck, hopefully, everything turns out good for you son, you and your fiancee.


tank
 
I just don't understand SOME men... how is it so easy for them to walk away from their children, their blood??? What legacy in the future do they have? When they are dead and gone, as with all of us.. all that is left is memories and rememberances of times shared. The memory IS the legacy. How sad that their legacy is ended at their own child. But thank god roxygurl, that when one door closes, god opens another.. your fiance is a gift from god...may you all live happily.
 
ROXYGURL said:
I need some sdvice as well. so here it goes. My son is 7 yrs old. he has seen his biological"sperm donor" 3 times in his life and it was always under the age of 1. So he doesnt remenber him. He just got out of prison. And know im recieving Child support $228.00 every 2 weeks. Fine. Heres the sticky situation: Ive been with my fiancee for 7 years now. He came into my sons life when he was 6 months old and has been raising him ever since. My son calls him daddy.I have another child with my fiancee as well. The "sperm donor" called my house and spoke to my fiancee. (for the first time) And was asking my man about Isaac(my son). My fiancee cant stand :sperm donor"!!! Well he had the nerve to as my fiancee if he can see Isaac and take him to his house for the weekend... OK MY SON HAS NEVER MET THIS GUY AND NOW HE WANTS TO STEP IN??? WTF????
My fiancee told him hell no, THATS MY SON! tHEN "SPERM DONOR" SAID WHAT THE HELL AM I PAYING FOR IF I CANT SEE HIM... OH WELL THATS HOW LIFE GOES! To make a long story short: Sperm donor wants to give up rights cause he cant pay child support-he has to work cause of his parole officer. I said i would do that-shit i will be more than happy to do that!!! That was 4 months ago i agreede to that... i havent filed shit! Just been taken the $$$$.Spending on the kids and bills. He called me yesterday and asked me again when am i going to do that. I told him that i did! Should i just keep milking for the $$$$ since he has never gave me a dime in my life??? Help!!!!!!!
Click to expand...


i feel for you let me know how things turn out
 
Men That give up thier rights dont really have to stop paying support. U have to remember U didnt have him on your own and although U have someone that has been helping and loving your son, That is CHILD SUpport and if you dont want the money then put it away for him. It is his. He didnt ask to be in this world. He can give up his rights and not see your son. But I bet that money helps. Why struggle more?
Just my 2 cents
hope U dont mind.
Dee
 
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