I think I made a mistake

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HEARTHROBDJ95

HEARTHROBDJ95

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I broke up with my girlfriend a little over a month ago, and yesterday was the first time that I saw her since then and we had sex. It was good but I have no intensions on getting back with her, do you guys think that was a mistake? Do you think that I might have given her the wrong idea that I want her back???
 
As long as the intentions for the intercourse is known to both parties, then everything should be ok. The key is "communication". If you had sex with her and she starts questioning your relationship to her then just be straight up. It doesn't hurt. Women love sex just as much as men do. There's no shame........But..........

If you filled her mind with love crap or made her feel that you still wanted to be with her just to get her in the sack.....well then that's another story. You should've been more honest.
 
Ok then well, enjoy it. But just let her know where you stand (relationship wise) if she starts seething through for reconciliation.
 
HEARTHROBDJ95 said:
actually it was her idea, I did'nt tell her any of that love crap to get laid
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sometimes even if it was her idea a female might think if we have sex he might want 2 give it another try or something along those lines..
so in a way it was a mistake cuz now she might think there is a chance you need 2 sit and talk 2 her and lay it on the table how u feel and what you want and don't want
and a month is 2 short of time.. to many feelings r still there, so find out what she wants or thinks is going to happen
 
crazygirl said:
sometimes even if it was her idea a female might think if we have sex he might want 2 give it another try or something along those lines..
so in a way it was a mistake cuz now she might think there is a chance you need 2 sit and talk 2 her and lay it on the table how u feel and what you want and don't want
and a month is 2 short of time.. to many feelings r still there, so find out what she wants or thinks is going to happen
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for the past month we still have been talking on the phone a lot just as friends, but now I feel like if I call she is gonna think either I just wanna sleep with her or get back together. I really wish that never happend yesterday :crap
 
Who cares what she thinks? You dont like her right?? Just let her know straight out that the sex just happened and that there were no feelings involved.
 
Mysterious Darkness said:
Who cares what she thinks? You dont like her right?? Just let her know straight out that the sex just happened and that there were no feelings involved.
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feelings do matter and that is harsh MYsterious If she thinks other than just sex than it needs to be clarified. People have feelings and misunderstanding need to be corrected even though it was not more than sex. People break up for reasons, it does not mean he does not like her. But get things clarified and that both of you are in the same page
 
Mysterious Darkness said:
Who cares what she thinks? You dont like her right?? Just let her know straight out that the sex just happened and that there were no feelings involved.
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that is such bull.
what if that was your sister, and her ex just wanted 2 fuk her and thats it.. what kind of shit is that..
:splat


they broke up yeah, but at some point he did care for her, and she for him, if he has some kind of respect for her, which i'm sure he does, he would try to talk 2 make sure they r both on the same page...
he don't need 2 get back with her, but he need 2 let her know that what he wants is not a relationship, and if what happen was a mistake, then he has 2 let it be know, so she won't think that he still wants 2 be with her..
she has feelings she no damn dog, to not care what she feels or think.
 
The key is "communication". There is no reason why he should be keeping away how he really feels for her. It's better to be honest and straight out than to live a lie. "Hearthrob" made it clear that he just like the sex she gave him. He doesn't seem interested in anything else but. It was just an opportunity that he took because she was offering it to him. Maybe she thought that the sex would somehow make him come back to her. This is why I tell him to just tell her how he feels and that he's no longer interested in her.

You can break it to her gently. But definitely let her know how you feel. I'm not telling him to be mean.
 
I can see both sides of this.

I know a few people who are able to have sex with little connection or intamacy with someone. It's just how they are, and how they view sex. It would be no big deal if both parties went into that situation with the same knowledge that is was just a night of sex, with no connection.

Speaking for myself, I look at sex as something that is special between two people...no "booty calls", one night stands or friends with benefits for me. I know that I would be the one who would misunderstand what was going on, and I would be the one ending up hurt.
 
there is nothing wrong with doing your thing, just make sure the other person is on the same page...

MD next time try 2 word things a lil better, so you won't make us (me) think your just trying to be an a*****e..
but u r right communication is the key
 
crazygirl said:
there is nothing wrong with doing your thing, just make sure the other person is on the same page...

MD next time try 2 word things a lil better, so you won't make us (me) think your just trying to be an a*****e..
but u r right communication is the key
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Whoa! I don't think that was very polite of you to say. I'm surprised your a Moderator. Please don't disrespect me like that. There are better ways of talking than that! You don't know me and I don't know you. So please do me that favor.

You misunderstood my post. I think I made myself clear. But I think you should check yourself and the way you write instead. I apologize to those of you that thought that I was offending someone in this thread. My intentions are contrary to what you may be thinking. It wouldn't hurt to ask next time.
 
Mysterious Darkness said:
Whoa! I don't think that was very polite of you to say. I'm surprised your a Moderator. Please don't disrespect me like that. There are better ways of talking than that! You don't know me and I don't know you. So please do me that favor.

You misunderstood my post. I think I made myself clear. But I think you should check yourself and the way you write instead. I apologize to those of you that thought that I was offending someone in this thread. My intentions are contrary to what you may be thinking. It wouldn't hurt to ask next time.
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HA HA HA how funny you are..
i ain't say nothing disrespectful.. so don't act like your hurt,
all i said was word it better next time....
but anyway i won't say nothing else cuz u think i don't know u, but i know more , alot more then u think, and i'll just keep it at that..
hearthrob you ain't starting anything pa, don't sweat it...
if i wanted 2 be disrespectful, i would be , but i'm keeping it cool,
cuz there is no reason to be
 
You DON'T know me. You are too soon to judge (I knew your comment wasn't totally dependent on my advice on this thread here because I knew I made myself clear). This I knew had to be the reason. All i'm going to ask is for respect. It doesn't cost anything. The word "a*****e" could've been curved by using another less offensive word. In this time, it started out that I respect everyone. But now YOU (only you) will have mine when I see your level of respect for me.

I live for the future and I can careless about the past now. I'd advise you move on as well.
 
Another note for you crazygirl. If you feel you need to answer back to my post, then I would advise that you do so through PM instead. This thread was originally about something else totally different and I choose to stop curving the subject.

All I really care about in this very moment is to not see the essense of paranoia in members thinking that there is some kind of "drama" here. And I don't want to be considered the cause of it.

To Hearthrob. My apologies to you. Do what you have to do. I hope it all turns out well.
 
Mysterious Darkness said:
Another note for you crazygirl. If you feel you need to answer back to my post, then I would advise that you do so through PM instead. This thread was originally about something else totally different and I choose to stop curving the subject.

All I really care about in this very moment is to not see the essense of paranoia in members thinking that there is some kind of "drama" here. And I don't want to be considered the cause of it.

To Hearthrob. My apologies to you. Do what you have to do. I hope it all turns out well.
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I was just playin, no need to apologise
 
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