I need some advice ..

[iLLmatic Stylz]

Can i get some advice ?

Wassup people ,
I need some advice, im not no expert when it comes to writing songs but sumthing popped up in my head when i think of a certain young lady, i wrote this as it came to me. if anyone can help me with tips on making this better i would appreciate it. Well here goes :

" GIVING YOU MY HEART "

(verse 1)

I was a fool to believe
that you
wanted me ;
to be
the one
to wipe your tears
and set your heart free ;
but you
don't see
how quick your growing inside of me;
because i've given you my heart
and you known
from the start ;

~CHORUS~

Giving you my heart and soul
Wanting you to let me know
If its Love you feel
Then don't let me go
Because you are the one
That can make me whole

(verse 2)

Lonley nights i go to sleep
to a fantasy world
about you and me ;
but it's all
a dream
when i wake up
I face reality ;
to a world
so cold
with a rejected Love
and no one to hold ;

~CHORUS~ x 2

~fade

 

[Mandy]

Lucky GiRL

Hi iLLmatic Stylz :O)! WOW 8-D this is ur first post... and you post a song...thats wassup...cooOL. Welcome to the board :O)! I really like it!! Im no expert Im just startin writin songs myself. The only thing I would change "and you known from the start" to somethin slightly different for emphasis..like maybe

to "and you, you shouldve known from the startttt" or
"and you knew it from the start"or
"and baby, you knew it from the start"

I also like the part alot!

**"Lonely nights I go to sleep,
to a fantasy world,
about you and me..."** i might add alittle somethin like:

"Lonely nights I go to sleep,
to a fantasy world,
im in so deep
of you and me
in ecstasy
but its all
just a dream...."

Well thanks for sharing it with us :OD! Its really nice!

 

[Babycakes]

Hey Illmatic Stylz, what's up? I really like the song it goes really well. I agreed with Mandy on the changes...I liked what she added. Here's what I thought of with Mandy's changes. I added just a little more...

"Lonely nights I go to sleep,
it's all a fantasy
I'm in so deep
dreaming of you and me
it's just pure ecstacy
when I wake up
it's just a dream to me"


That's what I could come up with. Good job Illmatic and Mandy!!

 

[kimi]

Hey illmatic stylz I like your song. but check this out this what i added.

Lonely nights i go to sleep
to a fantasy world
and dream of this special love
between you and me
wishing when i wake
will be reality

 

[SweetGirl]

Re: Can i get some advice ?

Wassup people ,
I need some advice, im not no expert when it comes to writing songs but sumthing popped up in my head when i think of a certain young lady, i wrote this as it came to me. if anyone can help me with tips on making this better i would appreciate it. Well here goes :

" GIVING YOU MY HEART "

(verse 1)

I was a fool to believe
that you
wanted me ;
to be
the one
to wipe your tears
and set your heart free ;
but you
don't see
how quick your growing inside of me;
because i've given you my heart
and you known
from the start ;

~CHORUS~

Giving you my heart and soul
Wanting you to let me know
If its Love you feel
Then don't let me go
Because you are the one
That can make me whole

(verse 2)

Lonley nights i go to sleep
to a fantasy world
about you and me ;
but it's all
a dream
when i wake up
I face reality ;
to a world
so cold
with a rejected Love
and no one to hold ;

~CHORUS~ x 2

~fade

yeh yeh yeh illmaticstylz whatevaz lol u took my advice i c gooooodddddddd....bueno porque si no...no te hablo mas! wink wink bye bye Illmatic..

 

[iLLmatic Stylz]

now sweetgirl , why wouldnt i listen to you ?
hmmm.. i wonder ..

 

[Hitesh]

Poetry on Love.

Try this ;

Love is a Four letter word
As sharp as a sword
That pierces my heart
Everytime I think of you......


Love is a Book,
Every page read,
Is like every page said,
I love you.......

This is for All of you on Valentines Day....
There is one woman that I loved, I know there will never be another. This is my dedication to All you Lovers out there.
I hope to release a piece of music in Feb called 'Love Music'. It is dedicated to you.............

 

[Hitesh]

Or should I say Love Muse. A spelling error; Amante is Love Music.That track by Amante is Slammmmmmming.Big up to Amante. Big Up. respect. Jah rastafari. i 'N" i the Logical 1.

 

[Desejo]

TRY THIS BUD...

verse 1

i was a fool to believe
that you wanted me to be
that one to wipe your tears
i was a fool to believe
i could set your heart free
but you don't see
how fsat your becoming a part of me
i was a fool to believe
that giving you my heart
would get you to see-

chorus

giving you my heart and soul
is this love you feel
you need to let me know
and never let this go
and we will always be whole-

verse 2

i was a fool to believe
fantasizing of me and you
but its just another one-way dream
i was a fool to believe
that you could love me
when im awake to reality
can you believe
in you and me
lets take this love
and light it on fire
and heat up this cold world

chorus x2

fade...

 

[iLLmatic Stylz]

nice remix ..

hey DJdesejo ,
wasssup kid ! i like that remix ..lol..u got that off..
thanks for taking time out to check my words out ..
PS: why do i feel shes behind me right now, i dont wanna look..lol..yes princess..i'll stay off .. xoxo

 

[XprBabyGurlX]

Hey illmatic ! i see you wrote a song.. its cute..who's it for huh,huh,huh ? lol j/k ..
i hope its about me cause i could write a song about you ...hehe ..smile cause now i see you..."cuando yo te coja, prepara te" !
buh bye Stylz ! muahh* xoxoxoxxoxoxo