I need some advice

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HEARTHROBDJ95

HEARTHROBDJ95

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I've been with my girlfriend for alomst a year now and over the past two months I can really feel that our relationship is going nowhere and I feel like I am falling out of love with her cuz we are argueing alot now. When we first met I couldnt have been happier, I thought that she was the perfect girl for me and I always thought I would never find that in anyone. And now we dont really even talk anymore or see eachother anymore, and it's not all that matters to me but we only have sex like once a month now. It's actually starting to feel like we're more like friends now, but I really dont want to hurt her because she just lost her father about six months ago, I dont think that has anything to do with it but I can feel us growing farther and farther apart everyday. We try to go out and do the whole boyfrend/girlfriend thing but it just feels really fake, and I feel like if you have to try then it's not gonna work. My whole family loves her and I love hers but I really dont know what to do. Someone please help me I have no Idea what to!!!!
 
If you dont have the same feelings for her as before let her go. It's no use holding on to something or someone if the feelings are not there. You will just hurt her mmore in the long run or even yourself. Believe me I know 🙂
 
SEDUCTIVE NENA said:
If you dont have the same feelings for her as before let her go. It's no use holding on to something or someone if the feelings are not there. You will just hurt her mmore in the long run or even yourself. Believe me I know 🙂
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It just feels soo hard though because we used to be like best friends, I dont know if this is a bad idea but I've been kinda being an a*****e to her cuz I want hew to break up with me. It's not that I dont love her at all anymore so I really dont want to hurt her, she's always telling me how much I mean to her and she will love me forever. But I've been feeling kinda depressed about this for a while now.
 
HEARTHROBDJ95 said:
It just feels soo hard though because we used to be like best friends, I dont know if this is a bad idea but I've been kinda being an a*****e to her cuz I want hew to break up with me. It's not that I dont love her at all anymore so I really dont want to hurt her, she's always telling me how much I mean to her and she will love me forever. But I've been feeling kinda depressed about this for a while now.
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Rob understand one thing, your girlfriend just lost her father. Like you said about 6 months ago and even though that should not be affecting the relationship, it does. It's not easy going on with life after losing your dad or a parent in general. From what I have read it sounds like you love her very much as well but you feel like your relationship is dissolving! All couples go through good time and bad times but that doesn't mean that you have to assume the relationship is going nowhere. Give her time to adjust to her fathers loss, in the meantime, be patient and understanding. Maybe now she needs you more than ever! Shower her with complements and always tell her how much she means to you as well, that you will alway be here for her. Spend solo time with each other, like go to the park and sit down for a while and just hold her and talk. Things like this are simple but do so much good to each other. But most importantly, talk to her and tell her how you feel. Let her know your concerns and how all of this is affecting you too. Believe, you'll be surprise how much you will learn from this conversation and how things will start looking up for the better.

Best of luck to you and I hope all in the ends turns out for the best!
 
HEARTHROBDJ95 said:
Well I ended it today! I just could'nt take it any more!
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Hearthrobdj, I'm sorry that you are going through this rough time. Take heart in the fact that while it hurts now, you did the right thing.

If you stayed with her, and you don't have feelings for her, it wouldn't be fair to her or yourself.
 
ChuckD said:
Hearthrobdj, I'm sorry that you are going through this rough time. Take heart in the fact that while it hurts now, you did the right thing.

If you stayed with her, and you don't have feelings for her, it wouldn't be fair to her or yourself.
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but now I dont know how I feel about it :confused
 
You always know when something is meant to be. Love is about caring/sharing/laughing/crying TOGETHER. Your Heart was telling you to get out. Glad u listened to it and didnt spend years hurting inside. Sounds to me like you did the right thing. Good luck to you..
 
You always know when something is meant to be. Love is about caring/sharing/laughing/crying TOGETHER. Your Heart was telling you to get out. Glad u listened to it and didnt spend years hurting inside. Sounds to me like you did the right thing. Good luck to you..
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so true. you know if you love the person when its hard to be apart &the love shines through all the hurt and pain.:inlove
 
I know this post is a few days old, but just wanted to give you some of my thoughts Hearthrobdj. Your girl lost her father and I had lost my father too a few months ago. Those that have never dealt with the hardships of losing a parent don't understand the turmoil a person goes though. A person loses a part of themselves when they loose a parent, almost as their identity (partial at least) is gone.

I say that if you love her, you stick it out. The reason why your feeling distant from her is probably becuase she has pulled herself away from you, not purposely though. She is probably soul searching as well as grieving. I know for myself, i pulled away from family, friends and my boyfriend who now my ex. Anyways, I had to go through therapy amongst other things in order to pull myself out of depression. Its hard to stay with someone when your no longer communicating, but if you do really love her, i suggest you stick it through and be the friend that you were when you first started dating. If anything, read books on the grieving process it will give you abetter understanding as far as what she is going through.

Well i wish you the best of luck, don't regret a decision you've made on impulse..
 
NaughtyFrstyleGrl said:
I know this post is a few days old, but just wanted to give you some of my thoughts Hearthrobdj. Your girl lost her father and I had lost my father too a few months ago. Those that have never dealt with the hardships of losing a parent don't understand the turmoil a person goes though. A person loses a part of themselves when they loose a parent, almost as their identity (partial at least) is gone.

I say that if you love her, you stick it out. The reason why your feeling distant from her is probably becuase she has pulled herself away from you, not purposely though. She is probably soul searching as well as grieving. I know for myself, i pulled away from family, friends and my boyfriend who now my ex. Anyways, I had to go through therapy amongst other things in order to pull myself out of depression. Its hard to stay with someone when your no longer communicating, but if you do really love her, i suggest you stick it through and be the friend that you were when you first started dating. If anything, read books on the grieving process it will give you abetter understanding as far as what she is going through.

Well i wish you the best of luck, don't regret a decision you've made on impulse..
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Thank you this was exactly the point I was trying to make while everyone immediately suggested he should break it off. Like I said before, she probably needs him more than ever now and he just turned his back on her at the lowest point in her life. So this is love? :crap
 
Sadness said:
Thank you this was exactly the point I was trying to make while everyone immediately suggested he should break it off. Like I said before, she probably needs him more than ever now and he just turned his back on her at the lowest point in her life. So this is love? :crap
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Yea i hear ya, I had the same thing happen to me. The one i loved and supposedly wanted to marry me bailed on me when i needed him most. I dont want to see that happen to someone else. That's why I shared my own personal experience, Thanks Sadness
 
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I need some advice
I really dont want to hurt her because she just lost her father about six months ago, I dont think that has anything to do with it but I can feel us growing farther and farther apart everyday.


Clearly shows that he doesnt feel the death of her dad has anything to do w/ this change. Plus.. father passed 6 months ago .. issues just started happening.. Clearly something else is going on here! Still say "you're doing the right thing" pa.. UR HEART knows!
 
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