I need some advice.....

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nessa's302

nessa's302

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Alright guys, I have a friend who is like a sister to me. I love her so much! and the matter of the fact is, she's married to one person and loves another. This other guy is married too. He already broke her heart once and I think she's setting herself up for it again...He left her w/ no word and now he wants back in her life. What should I do??? I'm so worried about her.....
 
...?

JADE! JADE! JADE!
JADE! JADE!
JADE! JADE! JADE!

Anyone seen our PSYCH-BABBALIST around???

JADE... Get over here...
Advice is needed..... And IM just a guy who would say the wrong thing here... Much LUv and Good Luck Nessa...

Desejo
 
My opinion!!

In my opinion once you're married, YOU CAN'T DATE OTHER PEOPLE, DUH!! If a person is that unhappy, or that in love with another person then if the feeling is mutual on the other person's part then they should make a clean break and at least get a legal separation! Especially if there's children involved. If you get caught cheating by your spouse you could lose custody of your kids! If the guy is married and cheating, what does that say about him?? And if the guy didn't treat her well in the past then why would she give him another chance?? Be there for her, my vote is that unless there are NO children involved (him or her), and they have legal separations, NO!!
 
Thanks Desejo, for the kind words....
>FreestyleMom...I told her to seperate from her husband. I don't know what to do w/ her anymore. It's like she doesn't want to grow up. She has 2 kids and the way things are going, she's gonna ruin alot of lives. She knows it's wrong but what can you do? There's a saying in spanish that we have "en el corazon no se manda". Which basically means, you don't choose who you fall in love with. And she's always throwing that in my face. She's just blinded by his sweet and kind words that will in the end hurt once again. We've gotten into so many arguments b/c of this situation, that I don't know if I should give up....She's flying up north to see him and she ain't telling her family where she's going. I'm just gonna give up...
 
WZUP GIRL AS HER FRIEND YOU CAN ONLY SAY AND DO SO MUCH. THIS GUY SOUNDS LIKE A TRUE EXCUSE THE LANGUAGE D*CK. HE KNOWS THAT BECAUSE SHE IS MARRIED THERE ISNT ANY REAL COMMITMENT THERE SO HE CAN COME AND GO AS HE PLEASES BECAUSE SHE IS TIED TO SOMONE ELSE. WHAT HE IS DOING IS WRONG BUT YOUR HOMEGIRL SEEMS TO BE BLINDED BY THE SWEET WORDS AND EMPTY PROMISES. SHE NEEDS TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THE TWO AND AS HER FRIEND YOU KNOW THIS DUDE IS THE WRONG CHOICE. NENA THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO IS BE THERE FOR HER WHEN SHIT HITS THE FAN. THE ONE PERSON SHE IS GOING TO HURT THE MOST IS HERSELF. I KNOW HOW FRUSTRATING IT CAN BE GOD KNOWS MY FRIENDS SAW ME GO THROUGH SOME REAL F*CKED UP SHIT AND AS MUCH AS THEY ADVISED AND HURT FOR ME I DIDNT LISTEN, IN THE END I THANKED GOD FOR HAVING THEM THERE WHEN IT WAS ALL OVER. BE A FREIND NO MATTER HOW HARD IT MAY SEEM AT TIMES. 🙂
 
HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY!!!

LOL@ DESEJO

I heard your call, you just didn't leave any directions!!

*****Nessa.... Your friend there is cruising for a bruising. She had that guy once and what did he do? He left her and married someone else. She keeps throwing that phrase in your face? Well here's one to throw back in her's. HAVE SOME PRIDE WOMAN!~!!!!

He didn't want her the first time around. And now that his marriage is over and he needs some loving and attention he goes to her, a married woman with children.

Which means only one thing....HE DOESN'T NOW, NOR DID HE EVER, CARE FOR HER. If he truly ever loved her he would have married her. And even if he says he loves her now, if it was true, then he would respect her marriage and her happiness and leave her alone. The fact of the matter is, he is going after another man's woman. Which means he has no respect for the sanctity of his marriage never mind anyone else's, and that also means that she has a guarantee that he won't be faithful to her. This is a double edged sword and either way she goes she's going to get screwed. If she breaks up her marriage and goes for him then it will tell him that he can pretty much do whatever he wants and she will always take him. He can leave her and she'll take him back. She is willing to screw up her own life to be with him, and to a guy like him that is like money in the bank. He can do whatever he wants because no matter what she'll always be there. It also shows she has no pride. It's okay to be in love with him. But is it him she's in love with or how she remembers him and how good things were? Can someone please remind her of the bad stuff and how he left her? And how come he is contacting her now? How does he even know how to reach her? Has she kept in contact with him all this time? And is she really willing to share him with his wife, because I saw no mention of him leaving his wife to be with her. So basically he is on a power trip and just wants to get laid. You don't see him flying down to see her. Which basically means he knows he's in control and even though he wants something from her has it set up so that SHE is CHASING him and not the other way around.

The man didn't want you then, WHY THE HELL DO YOU WANT HIM NOW? Is he the man that said he loved you and couldn't live without you and wanted to marry you? Is he the man who loved you and took care of you, gave you whatever your heart desired as much as he could? Is he the man that loved you enought to show it and produce beautiful children with you? Is he the man that has stuck by you through thick and thin? The man that wakes up in the middle of the night beside you and reaches over to hold you close to him? The man who takes care of you when you are sick? The man who goes to work every day and comes home to you? IS HE THE MAN WHO HAS BUILT A LIFE WITH YOU???

No? So then why are you bothering with him? Girl, you can't choose who you love, but you can choose how you love them. If you still love this guy, love him from afar, because he never really wanted you up close. But don't let him back in to ruin your life. Because at first it will be all lovey dovey and then when he gets done with you and moves on to someone else (and this will happen, track records don't lie) you will remember the husband, the good man that you left, and see the shambles you made of your life and of his life and your kids lives and wonder why the hell you did it. If you are having problems with your hubby, go to your family doctor, get some counselling, go to your priest, talk to your husband and work it out. But if you leave your husband, make sure it's because you don't want to be with him, not because you want to be with someone else. And don't fool yourself and say you're leaving because you don't want to be with and it just so happens you want someone else. If you leave because you don't want him then there shouldn't be anyone else for a while.

And listen to your friend who definitely knows all about this better than I do. Nessa obviously cares alot about you and is very worried about you and loves you a lot. Nessa has your best interests at heart and if I were you I'd be listening very closely to what Nessa has to say. I hope I helped.

[Edited by Jade on 04-08-2001 at 08:13 PM]
 
ok if he is married then its only a sex thing!!! i know how these things go...belive me its sad but true...i dont know her, but she is probabley not in love with him...she just thinks she is...he will hurt her again!!! she should stay with her husband cause they have both taken a chance on eachother...u should just remind her of the broken heart he left her with, and how much more it will hurt now if she loses everything because of this affair 🙂 i hope it helps...i hate to see men put us women through this...i went through so much similar drama with my daughters father...i am just happy to say that i finally have him out of my system!!! and believe me it hurts like HELL!!!!
 
Thank you guys so much!

I want to thank all of you again. What would I have done, I don't even know. But I took all of yours advice! She ain't gonna fly up north and she's lost all contact w/ him now. It's so nice to see that ya'll were actually there to help me! I really appreciate it, I thought I was gonna go nuts trying to convince her otherwise. I had here read these posts and now she finally sees the light! It's so hard to see someone you love, hurting in the end. She's been hurt so many times b4 that I didn't know how to go about this. Thank you all again. I think if I ever need your help again, ya'll won't hesitate to help out a junior freestyler...Much love to all of you and I hope to keep in touch till the end!
*mua to all of you*
 
GIRLY I AM HAPPY YOUR FRIEND HAS SEEN THE LIGHT SHE NEEDS TO KNOW SHE DESERVES BETTER THEN THAT AND YOU HAVE HELPED HER AS A FRIEND YOU ARE A TRUE FRIEND. I KNOW I THANK GOD FOR MINE. HEY AND SOMEONE IS ALWAYS HERE TO SHED SOME LIGHT. AM I RIGHT OR WHAT GUYS. 🙂
 
Jade took the words right out of my mouth. I am a guy & I know how we think. LOL 😀 Nessa I am happy that she is not going.
 
True, true! Thanks again guys...nice to meet all of you....and again thanks. I don't think words can explain how thankful I am to all of you...
 
Thank the Lord!!

Nessa, I am glad your friend woke up to smell the coffee because I was starting to think we were gonna have to get Juan Valdez and his donkey to come up and plant a coffee tree up her a$$.
And yes, any time you want any advice you are more than welcome to just ask. I'm not the authority on any one subject I just call it as I see it and what it is that I am and am not willing to take. From there it's up to you all to see if what I have to say works for you. If it gels, then there you go!

Thanx MakeYaDance... my best friends are guys and what I didn't learn from them I learned the hard way. Learning from them was much less painful.

Thanks Desejo for having such faith in what I have to say.
 
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