Honey

[4getmenoT]

Verse 1
I know you, You know me
Even though we never met before
Where you been, I've been there
Not physically but in soul

So far away, you will be
Im with another, Im still lonely
Only you, can complete me
She don't understand, but you do Honey

(Loop)
Honey I'll walk a thousand miles
Just to stay right by your side
Show you how much you mean to me
I need you to see
That I will love you day and night
Want you to be my wife
mabye we can start a family
Me and you Honey

Verse 2
Stole the stars, from above
Placed them all into your eyes
I can't see, without you
when I look at you, I can see the sky

Five days, and four nights
Now your gone, flown away from me
Wish I had the, the words to say
Stead I write this to you Honey

(Loop)
Honey I'll walk a thousand miles
Just to stay right by your side
Show you how much you mean to me
I need you to see
That I will love you day and night
Want you to be my wife
mabye we can start a family
Me and you Honey

copyright: MKM

**I wrote this in the spur of the moment a few months ago.
The song kind of doesn't make sense to me, but I wanted to share this with you. Please give your honest opinions.
Thanks.

4GetmeNot

 

[Taz X.T.R.]

Verse 1
I know you, You know me
Even though we never met before
Where you been, I've been there
Not physically but in soul

[1)Good Beginning for a Freestyle song.]

So far away, you will be
Im with another, Im still lonely
Only you, can complete me
She don't understand, but you do Honey

[2) First line is out of context.]


(Loop)
Honey I'll walk a thousand miles
Just to stay right by your side
Show you how much you mean to me
I need you to see
That I will love you day and night
Want you to be my wife
mabye we can start a family
Me and you Honey

[3) This verse just made it confusing. You should talk about leaving the one who makes you unhappy. Then claiming your "true love"



Verse 2
Stole the stars, from above
Placed them all into your eyes
I can't see, without you
when I look at you, I can see the sky

[3)Good one.]



Five days, and four nights
Now your gone, flown away from me
Wish I had the, the words to say
Stead I write this to you Honey

[4)You must stay consistent about the story you are singing about. Write the song as if you were having a conversation in this format.

a)talk about the problem (the fact that you are unhappy with the one you have).

b) the solution (the other woman whom you feel will make you happy).

c) The effort (How you intend to claim her as yours)


(Loop)
Honey I'll walk a thousand miles
Just to stay right by your side
Show you how much you mean to me
I need you to see
That I will love you day and night
Want you to be my wife
mabye we can start a family
Me and you Honey

[4) I don't agree with the title. It's too generic. Change it to a metaphor or change "Honey" to a stylish name. Give the woman a personality through the title and song, make the listener feel WHY you must have her instead of your current girl.]



copyright: MKM

**I wrote this in the spur of the moment a few months ago.
The song kind of doesn't make sense to me, but I wanted to share this with you. Please give your honest opinions.
Thanks.

4GetmeNot

 

[Crystal2001]

Damn my tio correcting peeps..LOL!!!...😉

Hes right..I agree with what he said..how bout u try again..its really good..just put some touches to it..🙂

 

[4getmenoT]

Thanks for honesty

Thanks for taking the time to evaluate my lyrics.
I see what I need to improve now.

The girls name is Honey. Thats why the title is what it is.

Thanks again