Gimme feedback! :)

[Dayer]

This song is far from done but I figured I'd post it anyways:

How can you tell me
You never felt like this before
When up until yesterday
You were with the girl next door
How can you lead me on
How could you lie
You said I was the only one
You said you were mine

(ooh) You must think that I am blind
(ooh oohh ohh) Or you think that I'm some kind
Some kind of fool

But I wont be the fool for you
My love is not game
I'll never give you everything
Unless you feel the same
Feel the way for me
That I feel for you
But until that day
You can be somebodys elses fool....

 

[*Freestylah*]

Great Work!

Wow, that song is really good, Dawn, if i may call you that. I can hear the beat just by reading it.
GREAT JOB!
I hope to read many more of your posts on this posting board place (whatever you call it).
Keep up the great work.

 

[MakeYaDance]

Is it more of an ooooh like in moo or is it more of a ooooh like in whoah. Cos if it a ooooh like in whoa then I feel it also!

 

[Dayer]

Thanks 🙂

Many thanks for the compliments guys!

Makeyadance...

It ws going to be an ooh like moo but then it would class with the word fool so its really more of an oh like woah but really unless it gets recorded one day its up to the person that reads it to determine it for themselves 🙂

 

[MakeYaDance]

\W/ IHI (O) /A\, I'm feeling it now Dawn!

 

[La Mas Grande]

like it.....

 

[ChuckD]

I like it Dayer!