frankiepolanco
Junior Freestyler
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2001
- Messages
- 1,903
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 0
- Location
- Staten Island,,, somewhere out there
> 1. Ever wonder about those people who spend
> $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian
> water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
>
> 2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant
> like making a peeing section in the swimming pool?
>
> 3. OK... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known
> as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are
> known as the "Bucs", what does that make the
> Tennessee Titans?
>
> 4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does
> that mean that one enjoys it?
>
> 5. There are three religious truths:
> a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as
> the Messiah.
> b. Protestants do not recognize the
> Pope as the leader of The Christian faith.
> c. Baptists do not recognize each other in
> the liquor store or at Hooters.
>
> 6. If people from Poland are called Poles,
> why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
>
>
> 7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
>
>
> 8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages?
> Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
>
>
> 9. Why is a person who plays the piano called
> a pianist but a person who drives a race car not
> called a racist?
>
> 10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
>
>
> 11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen
> defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians
> can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys
> deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons
> debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
>
> 12. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge,
> would they call it Fed UP?
>
> 13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
>
> 14. What hair color do they put on the
> driver's licenses of bald men?
>
> 15. I was thinking about how people seem to
> read the Bible a whole lot more as they get
> older; then it dawned on me...they're cramming
> for their final exam.
>
> 16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies
> with tiny little spoons and forks so wondered what
> do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
>
>
> 17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the
> Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to
> them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the
> postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them
> while they deliver the mail?
>
> 18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then
> what exactly are the others here for?
>
> 19. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
>
> 20. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't
> zigzag?
>
>
> 21. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose? :smirk
> $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian
> water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
>
> 2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant
> like making a peeing section in the swimming pool?
>
> 3. OK... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known
> as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are
> known as the "Bucs", what does that make the
> Tennessee Titans?
>
> 4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does
> that mean that one enjoys it?
>
> 5. There are three religious truths:
> a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as
> the Messiah.
> b. Protestants do not recognize the
> Pope as the leader of The Christian faith.
> c. Baptists do not recognize each other in
> the liquor store or at Hooters.
>
> 6. If people from Poland are called Poles,
> why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
>
>
> 7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
>
>
> 8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages?
> Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
>
>
> 9. Why is a person who plays the piano called
> a pianist but a person who drives a race car not
> called a racist?
>
> 10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
>
>
> 11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen
> defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians
> can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys
> deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons
> debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
>
> 12. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge,
> would they call it Fed UP?
>
> 13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
>
> 14. What hair color do they put on the
> driver's licenses of bald men?
>
> 15. I was thinking about how people seem to
> read the Bible a whole lot more as they get
> older; then it dawned on me...they're cramming
> for their final exam.
>
> 16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies
> with tiny little spoons and forks so wondered what
> do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
>
>
> 17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the
> Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to
> them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the
> postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them
> while they deliver the mail?
>
> 18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then
> what exactly are the others here for?
>
> 19. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
>
> 20. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't
> zigzag?
>
>
> 21. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose? :smirk
