myonlysweetie
New member
> First
>
> The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that
> her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might
> become pregnant and adversely impact the family, she
> consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her
> that teenagers today were very willful and any
> attempt to stop the girl would probably result in
> rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her
> daughter to be put on birth control and until then,
> talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
>
> Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing
> for a date, the woman told her about the situation
> and handed her a box of condoms.
> The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug
> her mother saying "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry
> about that! I'm dating Susan!"
>
>
> * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
>
> Second
>
> A man went to church one Sunday and afterward he
> stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said,
> "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine
> sermon. Damned good!"
>
> The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I'd rather
> you didn't use that kind of language in the Lord's
> House."
>
> The man went on, "I was so damned impressed with
> that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the
> offering plate!"
>
> The preacher said, "No shyte?"
>
>
> * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
>
> Third
>
> A couple took their six-year-old son to the doctor.
> With some hesitation, they explained that although
> their little angel appeared to be in good health
> they were concerned about his rather small penis.
> After examining the child, the doctor confidently
> declared, "Just feed him pancakes. That should solve
> the problem."
>
> The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast,
> there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the
> middle of the table.
>
> "Gee, Mom," he exclaimed. "For me?"
>
> "Just take two," the mother replied "The rest are
> for your father."
>
>
> * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
>
> Fourth
>
> Monica Lewinsky was looking at herself in a mirror.
> Her frustration over her lack of ability to lose
> weight was depressing her. In an act of desperation,
> she decided to call on God for help.
>
> "God...if you take away my love handles, I'll devote
> my life to you," she prayed.
>
> And just like that, ****POOF***** her ears fell off.
>
> The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that
> her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might
> become pregnant and adversely impact the family, she
> consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her
> that teenagers today were very willful and any
> attempt to stop the girl would probably result in
> rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her
> daughter to be put on birth control and until then,
> talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
>
> Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing
> for a date, the woman told her about the situation
> and handed her a box of condoms.
> The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug
> her mother saying "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry
> about that! I'm dating Susan!"
>
>
> * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
>
> Second
>
> A man went to church one Sunday and afterward he
> stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said,
> "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine
> sermon. Damned good!"
>
> The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I'd rather
> you didn't use that kind of language in the Lord's
> House."
>
> The man went on, "I was so damned impressed with
> that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the
> offering plate!"
>
> The preacher said, "No shyte?"
>
>
> * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
>
> Third
>
> A couple took their six-year-old son to the doctor.
> With some hesitation, they explained that although
> their little angel appeared to be in good health
> they were concerned about his rather small penis.
> After examining the child, the doctor confidently
> declared, "Just feed him pancakes. That should solve
> the problem."
>
> The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast,
> there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the
> middle of the table.
>
> "Gee, Mom," he exclaimed. "For me?"
>
> "Just take two," the mother replied "The rest are
> for your father."
>
>
> * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
>
> Fourth
>
> Monica Lewinsky was looking at herself in a mirror.
> Her frustration over her lack of ability to lose
> weight was depressing her. In an act of desperation,
> she decided to call on God for help.
>
> "God...if you take away my love handles, I'll devote
> my life to you," she prayed.
>
> And just like that, ****POOF***** her ears fell off.
