What would you do if you've found the love of your life, maybe even your soulmate, and they love you just as much, but because of circumstances, the relationship is doomed to fail?? Would you end it sooner to (possibly) avoid growing even closer and thus maybe suffer less and just move on with life or would you ride it out to the end and cherish every moment???
Doomed Relationships
- Thread starter Dianita
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There are too many circumstances......
He is illegal. He came when his son's mother was pregnant with his son. That was 5 and a half years ago and he still hasn't had a chance to meet his son and it's tearing him up. Now the kid's mother is upset he's with someone else and has threatened to "disappear" with their son because it seems really corrupt there and easy to pull crap like that. So if he goes there to take control of the situation, different things can happen. It's possible that he might not want to leave his son again once he gets a chance to be with him. But then if he wants to return, it costs $12,000 to come illegally from his country, and he doesn't want to marry me on the chance that he goes and decides he can't leave his son. He doesn't want people feeling especially me or my daughter that that was his reason for marrying me. But I could or would not make him choose between me and his child. Sometimes it feels like a dark cloud over us.
He is illegal. He came when his son's mother was pregnant with his son. That was 5 and a half years ago and he still hasn't had a chance to meet his son and it's tearing him up. Now the kid's mother is upset he's with someone else and has threatened to "disappear" with their son because it seems really corrupt there and easy to pull crap like that. So if he goes there to take control of the situation, different things can happen. It's possible that he might not want to leave his son again once he gets a chance to be with him. But then if he wants to return, it costs $12,000 to come illegally from his country, and he doesn't want to marry me on the chance that he goes and decides he can't leave his son. He doesn't want people feeling especially me or my daughter that that was his reason for marrying me. But I could or would not make him choose between me and his child. Sometimes it feels like a dark cloud over us.
Yeah, but he does talk to the kid all the time, and he cries to him, "Daddy, when are you coming back, I want us to be together." What kinda person would I be if I make him decide and what happens if he winds up losing his son forevor and then blaims me and becomes resentido(sorry, I'm not sure of the translation).
yburgos7
New member
I think you should just let things be...you can't stop him from seeing his son...believe me if it was meant to be it will be...
Well Dianita I can see now clearly on what you are saying. Its a tough situation...and sad in a way cause he can have both if it wasnt for the distance and his status.
Well this is what I would say...if he loves you he would go see his son...spend some time with him then come back to you.
How long you guys been together if I may ask?
Well this is what I would say...if he loves you he would go see his son...spend some time with him then come back to you.
How long you guys been together if I may ask?
yburgos7
New member
Ant but the thing is that if he goes back he has to pay $12,000 to come back illegally...
Well, I know I'd never want to keep him from his son, if anything, I wish there were a way to help him out in that aspect. But there's such a big chance that if he goes, he might not be able to leave his son once he's finally with him, and what we have now will be just a memory. We've been together for a year and a half, and we've been through alot of crap.
yburgos7
New member
Why did he leave in the first place while his baby momma was pregnant???
I don't know...it's hard to say since we aren't talking about him going to another state...
he has to decide what he wants to do...you can either stand by him and wait for him to possibly return or just go on with your life...remember you have your daughter to look after...that is more important than anything...
I don't know...it's hard to say since we aren't talking about him going to another state...
he has to decide what he wants to do...you can either stand by him and wait for him to possibly return or just go on with your life...remember you have your daughter to look after...that is more important than anything...
Partly why he came here was so he could earn more money to support his son and he admits partly to run away, cause he was scared. He regrets it all the time, talks about how he would've loved being there when his son was born. The kid's mother wasn't right about it either. I mean I have nothing against her. I pray for her all the time- she's been taking care of the son this whole time, but the first thing she taught him to say to my boyfriend was "I hate you" and that is just so wrong. My ex is being a total jerk with my daughter but I still tell her to respect her dad. My daughter adores him too. They connected right away.
But when he came he was in love with his baby's mother, and obviously that didn't work out, unless the old sparks start flying. If he comes back, of course it would be worth the wait, but if he never does.......????
But when he came he was in love with his baby's mother, and obviously that didn't work out, unless the old sparks start flying. If he comes back, of course it would be worth the wait, but if he never does.......????
yburgos7
New member
Nena...you can't put your life on hold for someone who is not guaranteed to you...I mean if goes away...how long is he going to be away for? days, weeks, months, years...who knows...you can't just sit around waiting for him to come back...you have a life to live for yourself and your daughter...you can't waste your life waiting for him while he is continuing to live his life somewhere else...Who knows you might meet someone else who is far better for you than he is...I know it's hard to think about it now because you love him...but after time has passed you will see what I mean....
ChuckD
The Gay Lord of Freestyle
Putting your life on hold is not the way to go.
Awww, thanks. My man tells me it's demasiado tierno(too tender hearted, yeah?). I just can't stand people suffering or being treated wrong. But I've been hurt alot and I wouldn't want it to hapen to anyone else.Enigma said:
I get what you mean, that's what has me so crazy right now. He was gonna leave this past November and started preparing and he couldn't go through with it. He has been better to my daughter than her own father. She's been through a tramatic experience in this past year and he was there for her and didn't judge her and just supported while she refuses to tell her father. He has been there and tried to do something special for her each time her father stood her up. He's rushed home from work when she's been sick. I was thinking of maybe letting everything play out and when he leaves just tell him if he's not back in x amout of time or if he hooks up with someone else, I'll just go on with my life. But at times I feel selfish, because I think what if I'm just wasting my time. Not that being with hima nd being in love with him is a waste of time, but maybe this is going nowhere. On that point I don't think he understands me completely, because he is also younger and I one day dream of having more kids and he's also said he'd love for us to have kids once everything is in order.yburgos7 said:
yburgos7
New member
He sounds like a great guy...and if you love him that much I think you should give him a time limit to see what happens...after it expires hey the sky's the limit...you go your way and he obviously goes his way...