Different opinions in a relationship

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Kary

Kary

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If you are in a relationship that both of you are totally in love with each other and everything is good and you know you want to spend the rest of your life with him/her but when it comes to planning your future and 1 of you wants children and the other one doesn't really think they want to ever have kids what would you do? Should you continue the relationship or should you let it go & not waste your time dwelling on it?
 
Wow thats tough I haev my son but if I were to be in a situation I a not sure if I could deal with the possibility of not having children because my man aint want none. A lot of people say they dont want kids for whatever reasons they can conjure up but in the end have them. I think if two people love each other that much one of them will do whatever it takes to make the other one happy be it having a child or not we sacrifice for the ones we love but its knowing and understanding what you are sacrificing that makes it worth while if having a child is near to soemones heart and not the others then that person ahs to take in the possibility of not having any or moving on with someone who shares the same dream.
 
I don't think it should continue. It's not fair if one person is happy and the other is resentful of what could have been. Sacrifices go both ways.
 
well honestly, i would continue the relationship b/c you dont know maybe everything will change. come-on kids are very adorable and kids are a good thing that could ever happen to someone. so dont worry about it ma! everything well go by.
 
I would have to talk things out and find out more as to
"why" no children are wanted in the relationship.

Is it by choice or are there other "barriers" interfering in the decision of not
being able to have children maybe???

See if the reasons for not wanting children....is a permanent one or
maybe it's a possibility down the line. Is this person putting "career" first so that later if children are wanted, they will live a good life.

Talk more with your significant other. Seems like the love is there,

so at least you've got that - which means you both should be able to discuss this further openly.

Best of Luck!!!!:hearton
 
Thank u all for your opinions. I really am stuck with this and I guess i really have to think about it. The thing is that I'm the one who might never want kids but i'm not sure about that yet. I want to focus in getting my masters and i don't thing it will be fair to bring a kid in this world when i don't have the time to give to a third person who would really need me more than anyone in this world. & the thing that is bothering me is just that i'm not sure is not like is a definately no or yes :confused & is not like i have years to decide. 🙁 But again everything else in the relationship is good.
 
Well mama having a child makign the decision to have a child is a hard one to make because NOONE IS EVER PREPARED no matter how many storys people tell you , how many books you read or how long you put it off NOONE IS EVER PREPARED and cant anyone tell me different. I am up @ 6;30 everyone morning I make sure breakfast is made and my son has his bottle before I leave I work from 8:30 -4:30 get home about 5:45 I clean up cook batehe myself and son by this time it is around 8-8:30 I have to retake my test so I try and squeez in enough time to study as I can and by the time I have put Tavian down to sleep it is about 9:30-10:00 I am exhausted but I have to squeeze in some study time. Now it isnt easy HELL NO its not some days I just want to scream and run from how tired and unfocused I am but my point is you arent yet 100% certain on having a child and in the mean time you are trying to achieve somethign very important that in the long run will benefit you and if you someday have a child benefit your child which is great . If there is one thing I wish i had more of is time. When you have a child it changes your life forever it is the most bautiful thing in the world. What I am saying is it doesnt sound liek you dont want to have kids it seems more so that right now you dont feel your ready with the other things you are trying to achieve in your life, if this man loves you and you love him and everyhing between the both of you is that beautiful then you should know he will be there helping you every step of the way so you wodlnt be doign it alone and you wouldnt be puttig any part of your life on hold either not when yuo ahev somoen you can count on to walk through it with you. A good example is Diane she has 3 lil ones and goes to school she took the summer off but bottom line is she has 3 beautiful kids she takes care of while achiving ehr goal to educate herself, another one Vicki aka Lamatirx 4 gorgous kids she works and goes to school. A lot of us do put our lives on hold for our kids but here are some examples of Mothers who dont and are doign great doign both Ihate that I sepnd less tie with my son because I work and then have to study btu he is forgiving and reminds me in the end he is waiting for me. Best of luck mama
 
Well this is a tough situation, I think before u contemplate marriage its something u have to be very sure about. Because if one has a real desire to have children and the other doesn't, in time could cause resentment and tension in your relationship. This is a huge difference in what u want out of life. I think in marriage, both should be on the same page about children, finances and where u want to build your future as a couple.
Kary said:
If you are in a relationship that both of you are totally in love with each other and everything is good and you know you want to spend the rest of your life with him/her but when it comes to planning your future and 1 of you wants children and the other one doesn't really think they want to ever have kids what would you do? Should you continue the relationship or should you let it go & not waste your time dwelling on it?
Click to expand...
 
Itala said:
Well this is a tough situation, I think before u contemplate marriage its something u have to be very sure about. Because if one has a real desire to have children and the other doesn't, in time could cause resentment and tension in your relationship. This is a huge difference in what u want out of life. I think in marriage, both should be on the same page about children, finances and where u want to build your future as a couple.
Click to expand...

I agree with you 100% 😉
 
Sexyangel329 said:
Well mama having a child makign the decision to have a child is a hard one to make because NOONE IS EVER PREPARED no matter how many storys people tell you , how many books you read or how long you put it off NOONE IS EVER PREPARED and cant anyone tell me different. I am up @ 6;30 everyone morning I make sure breakfast is made and my son has his bottle before I leave I work from 8:30 -4:30 get home about 5:45 I clean up cook batehe myself and son by this time it is around 8-8:30 I have to retake my test so I try and squeez in enough time to study as I can and by the time I have put Tavian down to sleep it is about 9:30-10:00 I am exhausted but I have to squeeze in some study time. Now it isnt easy HELL NO its not some days I just want to scream and run from how tired and unfocused I am but my point is you arent yet 100% certain on having a child and in the mean time you are trying to achieve somethign very important that in the long run will benefit you and if you someday have a child benefit your child which is great . If there is one thing I wish i had more of is time. When you have a child it changes your life forever it is the most bautiful thing in the world. What I am saying is it doesnt sound liek you dont want to have kids it seems more so that right now you dont feel your ready with the other things you are trying to achieve in your life, if this man loves you and you love him and everyhing between the both of you is that beautiful then you should know he will be there helping you every step of the way so you wodlnt be doign it alone and you wouldnt be puttig any part of your life on hold either not when yuo ahev somoen you can count on to walk through it with you. A good example is Diane she has 3 lil ones and goes to school she took the summer off but bottom line is she has 3 beautiful kids she takes care of while achiving ehr goal to educate herself, another one Vicki aka Lamatirx 4 gorgous kids she works and goes to school. A lot of us do put our lives on hold for our kids but here are some examples of Mothers who dont and are doign great doign both Ihate that I sepnd less tie with my son because I work and then have to study btu he is forgiving and reminds me in the end he is waiting for me. Best of luck mama
Click to expand...
wow...very nicely put!
 
Once again thanks to all for your responses. But sexy u made me cried with your adviced, thank u so very much for your words.
 
(in a Tavi voice) I sowwys didnt mean to make yuo cry mama but I knwo how you feel I always thougth I wouldnt have kids not because I didnt want any but because I felt in my heart I wasnt meant to and look I have this gorgous amazing little person who worships the ground I walk on and nothing is more beautiful then a piece of you and the man you love walking around with the best of the both of you saying mami. Tavian is the best of me and ty wrapped in this little body sucking everythign he can from us as he learns. being afraid is so nrmal but keep your mind and heart open t the most beautiful experience you could ever have if you think what you share with yuor man is the ultimate happiness imagine that x5. Some things you jsut cant plan they arent meant to plan but do what you think is best for you. 🙂
 
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