Am I right to feel insulted????

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Dianita

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Okay, so tomorrow, my boyfriend is going up to Westchester because his mamí's coming in from Ecuador. He hasn't seen her in 6 years, so I totally understand him wanting to stay the weekend there. But as of now, he has no plans of me meeting her. I was thinking that maybe she'd be kind of uncomfortable, but him and his brothers plan on throwing a huge party for her. I don't know, it kinda makes me think either he's ashamed of me for some reason or he's not that serious about me. Am I wrong to feel kind of insulted? We have been living together for a year and a half, and she's gonna be here for 2 months, so I don't think that it's a matter of not enough time.
 
Did you question him about it? What did he say? 🙂
 
Since the mother of his son is one of their neighbors, they(his family) see me as the "other woman." They ask if I know that I'll never be anything more than his "amante." He's says that I'm more than that to him..but I'm not feeling like that. Either it's that or he's ashamed of me. I just don't know. If I try to talk to him about anything serious, he changes the subject or sometimes he starts crying that he doesn't want to lose me, other times he goes into a rampage that he's gonna leave.
 
ohh sorry to say, but me dont like this at all......hmm you guys living together and hes not inviting you. Not right....I could undestand you were dating and hes not ready for such meet, but if you guys are living together, wheather or not his ex lives close, he should have in mind that you will be part of the familiy someday and this is definately a good occasion to meet the family.....Now did you come in between their relationship, well then that is definately another story, and he may not feel comfotabel bringing you around the family, but still, he should have in mind that you should be showing up with him....especially to this family gathering if he realy cares about you.

I been with my b/f for nearly two year....were living together now....he invited me to one of his most important events of his life....his military retirement....and mind him, he is still married to his ex wife (divorce is pending).........she showed up....although we both were not comfortable, he still had the courage to bring me with him and have me present on his special day together with his family.
 
Exactly Mari! 🙂 Thats the way it should be.
 
Dianita said:
Okay, so tomorrow, my boyfriend is going up to Westchester because his mamí's coming in from Ecuador. He hasn't seen her in 6 years, so I totally understand him wanting to stay the weekend there. But as of now, he has no plans of me meeting her. I was thinking that maybe she'd be kind of uncomfortable, but him and his brothers plan on throwing a huge party for her. I don't know, it kinda makes me think either he's ashamed of me for some reason or he's not that serious about me. Am I wrong to feel kind of insulted? We have been living together for a year and a half, and she's gonna be here for 2 months, so I don't think that it's a matter of not enough time.
dude that's bogus that's all i have to say......
 
if your are his "mujer" the one he don't want to lose.. there is no reason for you not to meet his mom.. or go there.. his ex is just that his ex.. yeah she will always be there cuz of the child.. but you are the one he is with now...
i think you should tell him.. "F" it if he starts cry or goes crazy.. put the cards one the table.. your eather his mujer all the time.. or nada..
no in the middle just when it's good for him.. that shyt is crap..
don't put up with it ma....
i know how it feels to be "the one" when it's good for him, but not all the time..
and again it's bull shyt..
 
Enigma said:
Exactly Mari! 🙂 Thats the way it should be.

Like Maci says, plain and simple....bull shyt.......no excuses. You may feel uncomfortable, but girl, they will get over it. Its your life not theirs. Your man need to consider taking you or else, this relationship is not worth it. Sorry to say. :bangbang
 
Dianita said:
Okay, so tomorrow, my boyfriend is going up to Westchester because his mamí's coming in from Ecuador. He hasn't seen her in 6 years, so I totally understand him wanting to stay the weekend there. But as of now, he has no plans of me meeting her. I was thinking that maybe she'd be kind of uncomfortable, but him and his brothers plan on throwing a huge party for her. I don't know, it kinda makes me think either he's ashamed of me for some reason or he's not that serious about me. Am I wrong to feel kind of insulted? We have been living together for a year and a half, and she's gonna be here for 2 months, so I don't think that it's a matter of not enough time.


Mama...it seems that there is always some drama with this man of yours....there's only so much understanding on your part that you can do, and from what you let us know, you gone far beyond your limit...i'm not exactly saying kick this guy to the curb, but take yourself out of the equation right now, and take care of your own self.
 
Brklyn345 said:
Mama...it seems that there is always some drama with this man of yours....

Yeps. I was thinking the same thing except kick him to the curb lol! Nah I know it's easier said than done.
 
Thanks guys, I realize there has been a lot of drama lately, and it's starting to wear me out. I'm non-confrontational, and I don't like having problems with anybody, much less people I love. As of now, his mama wants to come here and meet me, and I've said she's welcome here anytime...I've had an open invitation to all his family, and I can't help but feel he's ashamed of me. Maybe that idea comes from my ex when his friend would come over, I was supposed to stay "out of the way" and if he'd go antwhere in public with me, he'd have me walk a bit ahead so people wouldn't think we were together. But my man now, he's just weird about some things. After I lost all my pictures on my pc the other day, he was actually happy because I have no more pictures of the both of us together and he said if he ever leaves, he wants al his pictures back so that I don't put a curse on him. WTH? I guess I just have to know that I've done everything that I can do. Thanks for always listening to me guys!! I know I must get a little boring and redundant with the same story all the time. Y'all the best!
 
ma.. you should never let a man make you feel down or low about your self..
he should never treat you like your not worth it..
i don't care if he is the most dreamest man on this would.. you deserve to be treated like a queen at all times.. a made the loves you will always be proud of you and prond to show you off..
never ashamed of you...
never let a man treat you like your not worth it.. never..,
there is some one out there 4 u.. and he will treat you like the queen you are..
that is a true man..
a real man knows how 2 treat his woman..
and i think that is what you need 2 find a real man
 
Okay guys, he finally brought her here to the house today. The drove from White Plains to eastern Long Island and she stayed for about 45 minutes. He drove her back to White Plains...get this supposedly his mamí says que parezco una gorda muy brava(I look really mean and fat) oh and dangerous. He better watch out for me..I'm not mean...well only to rbonuc, but that was different..
 
Well I guess that is a start...but still he should have taken you to the party in the first place...who gives a rat's ass what his family thinks of you...he is the one that made the descion to be with you...he has to set his family straight and be a fuking man and let them know that you are his girl now...and he needs to handle his business with his wife...sorry I didn't post earlier...mama you have so much to offer...you shouldn't be here worried about this guy...when he doesn't have the balls to treat you with respect and give you the place that you deserve...if he supposedly "says" that he loves you and that he wants to be with you then he should give you the title of his woman and treat you as is...the only reason that he does what he does is because he knows that he can get away with it and you let him back regardless of all the crap that he does to you...I don't know what the reason may be...and if the reason is because you are afraid that he is gonna leave...then let him do so...obviously he needs you more than you need him...and frankly I would rather be on my own than going through all this bullshit...you have to do what is right for you and your daughter...that is what is most important...be strong and show him who is boss...it's your way or the highway...like I always say...if you don't like then let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya...
 
I dunno Yahi, something has changed big time with him. He called yesterday, abround midnight, sounded like he was crying. He said he talked to his baby's mama and she made him chose. It sounded like he chose to not leave me, because she pulled her crap again about not letting him talk to his son and taking him to Spain with a different identity. It sounds like she said a bunch of crap about me. Now everything's my fault. He was talking about how he lost everything. Part of me thinks that he was just as upset as losing his chance with her. I feel like I was just the consolation prize, the back-up plan. He's so distant and indifferent now. Ugh....Anytime I try to hug or kiss him or touch him, he pushes me away. I hate that. Usually he's all lovey-dovey.
 
Dianita said:
I dunno Yahi, something has changed big time with him. He called yesterday, abround midnight, sounded like he was crying. He said he talked to his baby's mama and she made him chose. It sounded like he chose to not leave me, because she pulled her crap again about not letting him talk to his son and taking him to Spain with a different identity. It sounds like she said a bunch of crap about me. Now everything's my fault. He was talking about how he lost everything. Part of me thinks that he was just as upset as losing his chance with her. I feel like I was just the consolation prize, the back-up plan. He's so distant and indifferent now. Ugh....Anytime I try to hug or kiss him or touch him, he pushes me away. I hate that. Usually he's all lovey-dovey.
Let me tell you something if she really wanted to take his son away to Spain with a new identity she would have done so a long time ago...she is saying that shit to make him feel bad and then in turn he treats you bad...you have to remember he was the one who chose to do the things he did...you weren't around when he decided to leave his wife and leave Ecuador and come here...he made his bed and now he has to lay in it...but he is using you as his excuse for all the crap that he has brought on to himself...he should really be grateful for having you and for the way you treat him...but noooo that is not good enough...you know he just needs to go...he needs to grow the fuk up and take responsiblity for his actions...not make you feel guilty about all his "misfortune"...
 
plz tell me how is it your falt that his babys mama don't want him 2 see his kid..
don't want to get all in you biz but did you brake them up? did u come between them? orwhen you met him he had already split with her?
if he ain't with her it's cuz one of 2 things.. he don't want her.. or she don't want him..
and if she don't want him.. why is that your falt...
i'm sorry ma.. but you should not let that man make you feel like you less then him.. that your not worthy.. cuz from what i read that is what he is doing.. and that is just fukin with you mind...
makeing you believe all his bull shyt..
and if that is whats happening you need 2 do somethng about it...
cuz that is not a health relationship..
like i said b4 you deserve better
 
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