Advice for neighbor problems

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Dianita

Dianita

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Okay, once again, I need the advice from some of the wise people in here.

I've been living in my apartment(the2nd floor of a 2 family home) for more than 6 years now. I've seen neighbors come and go. My newest neighbor is a small family consisting of the mother in her 50s, her 27 yr old son who has some sort of mental problems, and her 10 yr old adopted daughter. I don't even know what the exact details of the adoption are, but basically she was a crack baby. She had lots of health problems as a baby and continues to have health and various mental and social disorders. The mother and the brother both work and many times have left the girl alone. Of course it also turns out that the mother has known my landlord for a long time.On various occasions, the girl has knocked on my door saying I have to watch her cause no ones home. Or she'll come to play with my daughter and the mother or brother will just leave without letting me know. She paid me $50 a week to watch her during the summer-6-7 days a week from 7:30 am to sometimes after 10pm and I had to feed her too. I wish I could help this girl more, but I myself as a single mother not receiving hardly any support from the father, don't have the resources to do much. One of her problems is overeating. I'd prepare a dinner beforehand and basically she'd eat it all before dinnertime- the dinner for all of us. Another prob- she's a kleptomaniac. She's stolen over $80 from my daughter and other various items from my daughter and the house. She's a habitual liar, already having told people things that happen in my house that just don't happen. She's also showing signs of being promiscuous. I've caught her various times saying things to various men, and my daughter's told me she's asked her VERY explicit questions about my relationship with my boyfriend. I've tried talking to her mother, but her mother seems to always be "unavailable"- at work, sleeping, or over her boyfriend's house, leaving this girl alone or with her mentally deficient brother.
I really wish I could help this girl more, but I feel my first responsibility is my daughter's well being. My landlords the solve it yourself type and I no longer know what to do in this situation. Anybody have any advice? I'm probably leaving important points out, but it'll come back to me.
 
Dianita said:
Okay, once again, I need the advice from some of the wise people in here.

I've been living in my apartment(the2nd floor of a 2 family home) for more than 6 years now. I've seen neighbors come and go. My newest neighbor is a small family consisting of the mother in her 50s, her 27 yr old son who has some sort of mental problems, and her 10 yr old adopted daughter. I don't even know what the exact details of the adoption are, but basically she was a crack baby. She had lots of health problems as a baby and continues to have health and various mental and social disorders. The mother and the brother both work and many times have left the girl alone. Of course it also turns out that the mother has known my landlord for a long time.On various occasions, the girl has knocked on my door saying I have to watch her cause no ones home. Or she'll come to play with my daughter and the mother or brother will just leave without letting me know. She paid me $50 a week to watch her during the summer-6-7 days a week from 7:30 am to sometimes after 10pm and I had to feed her too. I wish I could help this girl more, but I myself as a single mother not receiving hardly any support from the father, don't have the resources to do much. One of her problems is overeating. I'd prepare a dinner beforehand and basically she'd eat it all before dinnertime- the dinner for all of us. Another prob- she's a kleptomaniac. She's stolen over $80 from my daughter and other various items from my daughter and the house. She's a habitual liar, already having told people things that happen in my house that just don't happen. She's also showing signs of being promiscuous. I've caught her various times saying things to various men, and my daughter's told me she's asked her VERY explicit questions about my relationship with my boyfriend. I've tried talking to her mother, but her mother seems to always be "unavailable"- at work, sleeping, or over her boyfriend's house, leaving this girl alone or with her mentally deficient brother.
I really wish I could help this girl more, but I feel my first responsibility is my daughter's well being. My landlords the solve it yourself type and I no longer know what to do in this situation. Anybody have any advice? I'm probably leaving important points out, but it'll come back to me.
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When she leaves her without telling anyone, it's abandonment.........I hate to sound cruel, but you don't need that crap. I would call the cops and let them handle it. The mother wants to play dumb, well you have to play it too. You have your own daughter to attend to and she doesn't need to be exposed to this. You've tried calling the mother at work and she won't take your calls. Call the authorities, ACS, Cops, etc.,
 
don't open the door and just let things be. its not ur prob to raise this child. I know its heart breaking but u need to look out for ur nena....remember that when u start feeling guilty
 
I agree. I would tell your daughter not to associate with her. Sounds like she's got some major issues and bad habits that she doesn't need to be exposed to.
 
LaBettyBoop said:
When she leaves her without telling anyone, it's abandonment.........I hate to sound cruel, but you don't need that crap. I would call the cops and let them handle it. The mother wants to play dumb, well you have to play it too. You have your own daughter to attend to and she doesn't need to be exposed to this. You've tried calling the mother at work and she won't take your calls. Call the authorities, ACS, Cops, etc.,
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LaBetty is right with this situation...but I get the feeling that you dont want to be so rude,or cruel that you dont want "bochinche" with your landlord either.

You HAVE to call the cops..I mean a good neighbor is a good neighbor and that's what you've been. But she hasn't been as good as a neighbor as you have. You've tried to reach out but she wouldn't cooperate that's HER problem now. You have to protect your girl and besides you have to teach your girl how to deal with these kinds of situations also.

So like we say "No sufras penas ajenas"
(someone translate that if you might).
Call the cops
 
If my daughter even goes outside to play, she's waiting at the bottom of the steps. The brother's constantly cussing her out. If I'd have to guess I'd almost say the mother adopted her to get the $ benefits, cause I know darn well when someone adopts a special needs child the state gives financial assistance.
For a while I wasn't letting my daughter play with her and when another neighbor asked my her how come she wasn't playing with my daughter, this little girl invented some story about having walked in on us having relations, which is insane because I am so not like that. They lucky if they see the hug and kiss when he leaves or comes home.And can you believe leaving this little girl alone so often the mother just recently got a phone, only after I wouldn't let her use mine except for emergencies. Otherwise she just had a cel.. One month she had over 100 call from my number.
I wish I could do more for this girl, but I'm afraid she's destined towind up all scewed up like her mother.
 
Do I gotta give my name? Or do they take anonymous calls?
 
Okay Dianita, do you really want legal issues for yourself because of someone else's responsibilities? No right? You can report her to ACS anonymously. Otherwise, I see you living a miserable life there while they're renting there too.
 
You have every right to call the cops or social services no matter what
that girl is not in her right mind and looks to me like she's manipulating people around.
be careful with your girl
 
That's what I'm afraid of LaBetty..I don't want her knowing I called. Of what I heard, it wouldn't be the 1st time. Hell, i was thinking of calling from a payphone acting like I don't speak English so she thinks it's another neighbor...
 
Dianita said:
That's what I'm afraid of LaBetty..I don't want her knowing I called. Of what I heard, it wouldn't be the 1st time. Hell, i was thinking of calling from a payphone acting like I don't speak English so she thinks it's another neighbor...
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Call from outside, but tell them it has to be anonymous.....Or tell a cop and let them call ACS. Tell them you're afraid of her.........You're afraid for your daughter.
 
Dianita, keep this in mind too.

If that girl is telling people you are "supposed" to be watching her, and something happens, you will be questioned on that.

You had better clear this up quickly.
 
it is not ur resposibility to be takin care of that girl. Ur not suppose to watching n e one else but ur own child, not someone elses. Shes has these bad habits that can grow on ur daughter.Call Child services and explain the situation for them. U can be anonymous. i know u feel for this girl... and u want to help her out. this is one way u can do it. what the woman is doing is called neglect! they will probably try and place her in another home and take the womans license away...
 
Dianita, she is not your responsibility. I have so many issues with this it's driving me crazy. No issues with you (except that you're letting these horrible people take advantage of you which is something I always tend to do myself from time to time).

Anyway, even if you call anonymous.... once someone comes to investigate, they will ask you if it's true... so either way, you are going to have to tell them the truth.

Now you say your landlord is friends with this person, but how much of a friend are they? A real friend wouldn't approve of what this woman is doing with her 10 year old so maybe she doesn't know.

Tenants have sooooo many rights, its ridiculous so I'm sure she (the landlord) wouldn't do anything stupid like throw you out.

You have to avoid them, but is that the way you want to live? Make the necessary calls RIGHT AWAY... and if things don't change, I hate to say it, your best bet might be to move.
 
DON'T call the cops. Call ACS instead. They have to keep the reporter anonymous and you are actually avoiding the midle man, which are the cops because all they would do is see if there's any criminal offenses and then call ACS.
 
From one mother to another I knwo how hard it is to raise a child financially it is hard no matter what soand I knwo you wish you could somethign for this other child but bottom line is your child is priority and you should not have your daughter around this other child. If this girl is all these thingss a klepto,liar, hungry,promisuous you dotn need it in your home nor your childs life. If I were you I would not open the door or straight up tell this lady the minute you see her ass coming up the block to keep her child away from your home that you do not feel comfortable and can no longer extend yuorself in tthe wayyuo have when you yourself are a single momy trying to do right by yuor child. It isnt your responsibility nor should you feel any guilt over anything. If it were me HELL NO me and that childs mama would have had soem serious words , you mentioned this child is her adoptive daughter then either you call the authoritys so the system can look into it or straight up tell her mother she need to handle hers.
 
I hate to sound cruel, but you gotta look out for your own kids best interest.
Remember your #1 priority is your kid & you cant put her in that predicament where she gonna get malos ejempos & learn sh*t you aint exposing her to.
Another thing is I'm sorry but they gettin over on you, takin advantage of your kindness....eso son abusos leavin you that kid for that many hours. F*CK that !!!!
 
yep I agree you got to call acs. you don't have to give your name just tell them that the girl was left alone. but first call the cops. They always give the element of surprise. They'll call ACS right then and there and if the ACS questions you just tell them what you know and whats up if they ask you were you the one who called just tell them no but you are glad that someone did because you were just about to.
 
mmmmmhmmmm 50 dollars my ass that child should be taken care of by her mother. I say do what Vicki said.
 
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