A question about "what to do"

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4eVerFreeStyle

4eVerFreeStyle

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Let me ask you all your opinion... I'll voice mine, then you all go right ahead and add your thoughts and your own comments.

With all these tragedies going on now a days with kids killing other kids or kids just hurting other people, besides being taught the right way to behave at home... do you think teachers/councelors/family members should have a more vital role as well?

I mean for example, when I go on school trips with my kids and I notice a kid off to the side, that breaks my heart. I of course have my kids go over to them and ask them to join us and then we have a good ole time together. But was that my responsibility or the teacher/chapperones responsibility? I think these teachers and my kids after care reg councelors should care just a little bit more then they do. Yes, it's easier to be around the fun kids, but the quiet ones are the ones that need us the most.

It happens all the time wherever I go and like I said, it just breaks my heart. I guess I always look at things as if how would I want someone to treat my kids.
 
The way I see it, we'd like to call ourselves a civilized species, but in actuality we're somehow backtracking into a primative state. Somewhere along the way we are losing the basic laws of civil decency and morals. In primative species, the weak and different are cast aside, banished, even killed. Knowing this, how much do we differ from them?
 
Well it isn't your responsibility but you're being a good samaritan because you're a parent yourself.

On a professional level, these teachers, teacher's aides, counselors, etc. are supposed to make sure that every child is okay and involved in the activity for that day. There could be something wrong with the child and perhaps the child needs someone to talk to. But times are so different and people are so into themselves that they if they have a position working with children, that doesn't even matter to them. They're just making their dollar for the day. Sad.
 
Ohhh.....good question Knightfell.

Gina, I don't think it is just a teacher's responsibility.

To be honest, on a class trip somewhere, the teacher's attention is sooo strained, trying to make sure the kids are behaving, and that she has them all together.

One or two kids being ignored by the other students is not a priority.
 
As a person who works for a Non-Profit Childrens org., I think it does come to the home, school and how they are treated. Half of the children in America are from broken homes, many kids come from hostile enviorments at homes and school where all they hear is bad things to them or about them. Sadly when kids get a little older, they become rebellous! Sometimes in a terrible directions. Parents and teachers needs to re-examine their way of raising kids or controlling their classrooms.
 
This is not something that is just happening. It has happened when we were kids and with parents in school etc etc. You never noticed it because you were a kid, and at that time that was not a priority. You did not know any better.
 
An no more excuses of TV, Movies and Music being the problem. Those are easy scapegoats. Parents, teachers, you are the ones responsible. Like Charles barkley in a commercial:

"I am Not a Role Model! Parents and Teachers are."
 
latinocop said:
This is not something that is just happening. It has happened when we were kids and with parents in school etc etc. You never noticed it because you were a kid, and at that time that was not a priority. You did not know any better.
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True.
 
This goes back to when "it takes a village to raise a child". Now a day we only seem to care about our own. It sad because its a double edge saw, some parents are to ignorant that you can't speak to their child and some parents just choose to mind their own buisness.
Recently I was atttended @ bday party @ one of those play center like Chuckie Cheese. Two lil boys got into a fist fight, one mother was trying to figure out what was going on and the mother of the child that instingated the whole wanted to fight the mother of the other child.
It's stupidity like this that these kids imitate and unfortunately nothing is done until its too late.
 
The moms should have told them to stop the fighting, shake hands. In addition, tell them if they fought again, they were sitting out or going home. I don't recoment yelling at kids or being too strict. Kids after while will tune you out. But be tact with them, let them know, that is wrong.
 
mike4949 said:
The moms should have told them to stop the fighting, shake hands. In addition, tell them if they fought again, they were sitting out or going home. I don't recoment yelling at kids or being too strict. Kids after while will tune you out. But be tact with them, let them know, that is wrong.
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Thats how I handle things mike, we have to be the adults about things and explain to them why they should or shouldn't do certain things. Not act worst than the child.
 
mike4949 said:
I don't recoment yelling at kids or being too strict. Kids after while will tune you out. But be tact with them, let them know, that is wrong.
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I totally disagree, being a father of 3 oldest being 12 with adhd and bipolar. strict discipline is what is needed most. That's the problem with kids today, there is no real conscequence to their actions. just a finger waggle and a 5 min time out. What does that teach them besides "hmm that's it? hell i shoulda went for broke!" In my house the fear of the belt is ever present, I don't necessarily have to use it but just the mention of me cracking it out straightens them out real quick. Me and my wife experimented with this at the request of my son's theoropist. We started with the new age tsk tsk go to time out thing and did it for 3 months then we switched to the old school get the belt tactic for 3 months. Can you guess what worked best? Some may say "well your kids will resent and fear you" and I say your damn right! But they'll grow up out of a cell. and when they grow up and have kids of their own they'll know how much love it took to do it and appreciate it. It's how I was brought up and I love my parents everyday for it
 
Knightfell said:
I totally disagree, being a father of 3 oldest being 12 with adhd and bipolar. strict discipline is what is needed most. That's the problem with kids today, there is no real conscequence to their actions. just a finger waggle and a 5 min time out. What does that teach them besides "hmm that's it? hell i shoulda went for broke!" In my house the fear of the belt is ever present, I don't necessarily have to use it but just the mention of me cracking it out straightens them out real quick. Me and my wife experimented with this at the request of my son's theoropist. We started with the new age tsk tsk go to time out thing and did it for 3 months then we switched to the old school get the belt tactic for 3 months. Can you guess what worked best? Some may say "well your kids will resent and fear you" and I say your damn right! But they'll grow up out of a cell. and when they grow up and have kids of their own they'll know how much love it took to do it and appreciate it. It's how I was brought up and I love my parents everyday for it
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~applauds~ I had a conversation with some peeps in school and a parent who's kids is out of control is talking about how she tries to be her daughters friend. I told her thats where you went wrong, you HAVE to be her parent, understanding yes but never her homegirl. I am always told that we are tough on our kids but just like you said KnightFell I want them in college not locked up.
 
It's amazing how even though views are a little different, Everyone's bottom line is always "what's best for the kids" comes first.

I believe teachers aren't just responsible for maintaining calm and an educational atmospher, but to make sure that each child is involved... and that means all of them. If there is one on the side that seems to be the outcast, send one of your more sensitive kids over to him and get him involved.

LMG, what a world this would be if everyone believed in that saying... "It takes a village to raise a child".

All I know is, I'm the type of person that treats all kids as if they are my own. When I see a child that's shy and lonely, I take it upon myself to get him involved.

As for the fighting, it's funny how parents that know their kids are trouble, sit there and say, NOT MY KID.
 
Knightfell said:
I totally disagree, being a father of 3 oldest being 12 with adhd and bipolar. strict discipline is what is needed most. That's the problem with kids today, there is no real conscequence to their actions. just a finger waggle and a 5 min time out. What does that teach them besides "hmm that's it? hell i shoulda went for broke!" In my house the fear of the belt is ever present, I don't necessarily have to use it but just the mention of me cracking it out straightens them out real quick. Me and my wife experimented with this at the request of my son's theoropist. We started with the new age tsk tsk go to time out thing and did it for 3 months then we switched to the old school get the belt tactic for 3 months. Can you guess what worked best? Some may say "well your kids will resent and fear you" and I say your damn right! But they'll grow up out of a cell. and when they grow up and have kids of their own they'll know how much love it took to do it and appreciate it. It's how I was brought up and I love my parents everyday for it
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AMEN Knight! I'm 34 yrs old and still hold that fear of my dad! GOD Love him! 😀 My 2 brothers are the same way. They'll talk ish but let my dad raise his voice and it's :sosad! For all of us! :lol

As far as the teacher situation...many of them don't care and then you have the ones that do care but are afraid to intervene cuz of how quick people are to cry child abuse blah blah blah. My cousin is/was a teacher. I say is/was cuz she's got her degree...taught for 2 yrs and then her therapist told her she had to quit. The stress of not being able to help the kids they way they needed to be helped(was being prevented by the parents, if you want to call them that) was making her sick just to go to work. So now she sits at home and wonders what went wrong with the system.

I'll tell you what went wrong...all these damn activists groups that tell you it's not humane to whip your child. PLEASE! If my child (if I had one) were gettin out of hand...you better believe he/she is gettin spanked!!! I'm not talkin about beating the child black and blue...I'm talking about showing them who's in charge!

*Gettin off soapbox*
 
Krystal said:
AMEN Knight! I'm 34 yrs old and still hold that fear of my dad! GOD Love him! 😀 My 2 brothers are the same way. They'll talk ish but let my dad raise his voice and it's :sosad! For all of us! :lol
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:lol... my brother and i are the same way...

its not so much fear.. but respect...
 
Like Mas Grande said as a kid I also used to hear people say "it takes a tribe to raise a child" that means everyone should make an effort to help a child in need. It's an outrage the tragedies that are taking place at the hands of these misguided and neglected children. And I say that because it always appears to be the root of the problem.
As a kid I remember if I did something wrong and my neighbor saw it they would reprimand me (and then tell my parents) and that would be worse than being caught by my parents to begin with because the punishment would not be forgotten.
We as parents should make it our business to TALK MORE with our children.
 
mzcrazybtch said:
Like Mas Grande said as a kid I also used to hear people say "it takes a tribe to raise a child" that means everyone should make an effort to help a child in need. It's an outrage the tragedies that are taking place at the hands of these misguided and neglected children. And I say that because it always appears to be the root of the problem.
As a kid I remember if I did something wrong and my neighbor saw it they would reprimand me (and then tell my parents) and that would be worse than being caught by my parents to begin with because the punishment would not be forgotten.
We as parents should make it our business to TALK MORE with our children.
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I agree with you a 100% mama, as parents we have also be willing to hear what the other parent is saying. Like I always say I know what my kids are capable of doing and I don't sugar coat it. It's time that we as parent start raising our kids again.
 
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