joke

whats the diff between the rolling stones and the eagles . the rollin stones are going to the super bowl while the eagles are just rollin stoned.

The National Poetry Contest had come down to the final two contestants, a Yale graduate and a redneck from Texas. They were given a word, then they were allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word that they were given was "Timbuktu." First to...

A couple was invited to a swanky family masked fancy dress party.The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good...

This one I heard way back in summer camp with many different variations...some of you may have already heard it. A little boy's mother is in the shower. "Mommy, mommy!! Can I take a shower with you?" he asks. "No," she says. "Please, oh please?" says the boy. Wanting to shut him up, the mother...

Ok, here is what Trading spaces is doing now...... Doug and Hildi, the two designers who have the most outrageous designs, think they are designing two more rooms. What they don't know is that the "homeowners" are actors, set up to be the most arguementative, accident prone, and clumsy...

Did you ever hear the joke about the fart????? You don't want to hear it, it STINKS :shakinboo :splat :nah

Nominated as the best short joke of the year: A Three-year-old little boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. "Mama," he asked, "Are these my brains?" Mama answered, "Not yet."

What's the new state motto fo Sir Lanka (Shri Lanka)

A man falls in love with a woman named Wendy, and is so much in love with her he tattoos her name on his penis. The tattoo looks great; the problem is, when his member is flaccid, only the letters "Wy" show. On the night they first make love, he shows her the tattoo. She's delighted. He asks her...

Blonde Painter A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. "Well, I guess I could use...

Gabriel came to the Lord and said I have to talk to you. We have some Puerto Ricans up here who are causing problems. My horn is missing, mojo sauce is all over their robes, they are making guayaberas from their robes, they have domino tables in the cafeteria, and they're wearing baseball caps...

whats a stolen car and philly teams have in commen ? they break down and come with no tiltle why is there always a doctor at the games in philly ? because they know every player is about to choke .

A blonde woman is driving down the road. She notices that she's low on gas, so she stops at a gas station. While she's pumping her gas, she notices that she locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, she asks the attendant for a hanger so that she can attempt to open the door...

A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist's > >>office. > >>The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?" > >>The man says, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" > >>The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly > >>couple is asking...

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done, there were 3 finalists... Two men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow...

who do you call 60 guys watchin the super bowl ? the eagles .

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry we don't sell to blondes," he replied. She hurried home, dyed her hair, came back again and told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry we don't sell to...

Where are on a blonde will you find black curly hair???? . . . . . . . . . . . . In between her teeth!!!!!!!!!!!

What do 2 lesbians do when they want to have sex and there both on there period? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Finger Paint!!! LOL tank

:uzi The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists — two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will...