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Kenny Guido
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Is Grinding an Okay Way to Approach Women?

Is Grinding an Okay Way to Approach Women?

Short answer: No. For longer answers from women, keep reading

By: Bill Stieg
It's a fact of life in nightclubs today: grinding.

There's grinding with your girlfriend, and there's grinding with someone you hope might become your girlfriend, at least for that night.

Men, it's not working. If it does work, make sure you're carrying protection.

Here's the scenario: A guy approaches a woman at a club or bar dance floor and presses his pelvis against her in a suggestive way (suggestive, hell -- it's pretty explicit), hoping she'll respond in a friendly way.

A researcher in Canada actually studied this phenomenon, which has become increasingly accepted over the past decade or so. Dr. Jonathan Huber, M.D., of Queen's University College in Kingston, Ontario, found that about three in 10 women think it's okay.

Good luck finding those three. Men's Health's own spot survey of attractive, intelligent women found near-universal disgust with the move.

"This is my biggest pet peeve and I think it started in middle school," said Kerri, 24, of New York City. "I cringe when I see men doing this at a bar. Ick!

"Grinding a girl from behind is like having a big, slobbery dog hump your leg. It's embarrassing, a nuisance, and just uncomfortable. Please don't do it. Ever."

Dr. Huber, a resident in obstetrics and gynecology, published his results in the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality. He surveyed 143 women ages 18 to 28 at five Canadian bars.

About seven in 10 found "sexually overt approach behaviors" not acceptable.

Dr. Huber told Men's Health he and his team spent 100 hours investigating five types of sexual advances: two kinds of grinding (front-to-front and from behind) and buttock, breast and genital groping. He said they saw "a lot of ass-grabbing"; but little breast or genital touching.

Fully 84 percent of the women surveyed had been approached by a man grinding her from behind, he reported.

"The sexual script may be evolving to include more overt sexual touching earlier in the script," he told The National Post, "whereas the touching decades ago only came in at the end of the story."

The women who didn't like it still "accepted it as something that just happens [at singles bars]," Dr. Huber told the newspaper.

And it's happening more and more -- and in some other places, too, said another New York woman: "Guys have even tried to sneak little grinds in crowded subways -- it's pretty desperate and gross."

One Canadian woman told researchers, "Grinding is just dancing." Women who objected called it "rude," "too personal," and "pure lust and horniness."

Which is pretty tame compared with what Men's Health found.



Sandra, 35, says it happens subtly on the subway and overtly on the dance floor.

"I find it maddening and have been known to ask loudly, 'Just WHAT the hell do you think you're doing?' to embarrass the perp/perv. Most aren't ashamed of their actions."

And she acknowledges that some women don't mind -- "why else would men continue to do it? They have to get a positive response at least SOME of the time."

When asked what her response would be, Kate, 25, of Philadelphia, joked, "How many drinks have I had?"

"Usually it's fun and flattering and not unenjoyable," she admitted, "and it's something I'll do with a guy for a song or two -- then high-tail it out of there.

"Sometimes, though, if you're at a club, you're looking for meaningless makeouts, and it's late, a cute guy grinding up on you might just get some. My initial reaction to the study and the approach was, 'Oh, gross.' But in practice, the direct approach can work -- if it's the right bar and the right girl."

Huber concurs, telling Men's Health: "If you look at the dancing only, the success rate is fairly high. Talking to the guys, they think of it as shotgun approach. Bad response? Just move on to the next one. Talking to a girl is too much of a time investment."

Helen, 22, of Iowa City, called the practice "rampant, especially in college towns. I'll be on the dance floor with a group of girlfriends and guys just come up and start grinding, with no invitation whatsoever. It's creepy."

It's also an indication of desperation, Helen said. "They'll go from group to group until they find girls who are cool with it, which makes it even creepier, since they're on the prowl. If a guy is looking just to get some, this might work if the girl is just looking for the same.

"But I think that for most intelligent women, it's a turn-off. And really, the guys who I see doing this most aren't usually the smart, attractive, funny ones; it's the ones who don't have any luck with more mature methods of approaching women."

Cristina, 26, of New York, calls it "rude and presumptive."

"This is actually one of the reasons why I was initially turned off by the club scene a few years ago," she said. "It was all about guys --usually neither good looking nor charming -- approaching you from behind. No 'Hello, my name is Steve' before you're abruptly introduced to his Johnson from behind."

It's been around for more than 10 years, she says. "Now at 26, that sort of dancing is invitation-only, reserved mainly for friends and my boyfriend."



"If some random guy came up behind me and started grinding with me, I'd want to slap him," says Lola, 22, of Atlanta. "If you want to dance with me, approach me head-on and make eye contact first. We'll see where things go from there. But let me decide how close I want to get with you before you invade my personal space."

Kate, of Philadelphia, said it doesn't happen everywhere: "Grinding happens at big clubs where they play a lot of pounding hip hop, not bars or smaller loungers that blast Madonna and Prince. And chances are, you hit up the big club if you want to meet creepy dudes."

Kerri, the 24-year-old from New York, says there's another part of the explanation: "I think my generation is the first generation not to know how to dance. It's like all the uncoordinated people decided that because they're bad at dancing why not do a motion that looks like sex standing up because surely they'll be good at that. Sorry, no dice. You still look ridiculous."

Sandra added: "But I am also surprised when smart, accomplished and independent women I personally know shrug off this kind of advance and it doesn't really bother them. 'It's just something guys do.' That's a sign that although they may not appreciate the approach, they view it as socially normative behavior. Call me old fashioned, but I still see it as sexual harassment."

Alison, 22, of Allentown, said if she feels "the lurking presence of some random guy behind me, I might turn around and dance with him."

But she's "not a fan of random guys touching me while I'm dancing, let alone coming up from behind and pulling some kind of sneak attack on my back end.

"I have only used a jab to the trachea once, but that was an extreme case."

Tim Perper, who wrote a 1985 book called Sex Signals: The Biology of Love, which talked of quaint moves like hair-tossing and eye contact, told the Post, "We're coming out of a century of rather muted public sexuality . . . The kids have rediscovered what has been around since ancient Rome."
3 Replies · 1183 views
Shorty Rok729
^^^^ Main reason I stopped going to clubs lol
Kenny Guido
I dont mind a girl grinding with me...as long as its my wife!
FreestylefreaK
WARNING: Grinding up to a HOT babe can lead to a BIG boner.


😉
Hello, does anyone have Jeannie's CD? She was a freestyle artist from San Antonio, TX in the late '90s. She's best known for the classic "Runaway" but had other nice songs too. Thanks.
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If you grew up in the late 80s and early 90s, you already know the vibe. You can practically hear the Roland TR 808 drum machine firing up the second I mention the word freestyle. We're talking about a genre that didn't just climb the Billboard charts - it defined an entire era of youth culture. From the streets of New York City and Miami to roller rinks across the country, freestyle dance music was the ultimate soundtrack for a generation. It wasn't just music. It was the clothes, the big hair, the attitude, and the unbridled emotion of teenage heartbreak packed into a heavy bass line.

Today, we're taking a deep dive into the undisputed royalty of freestyle. They're the artists who built the foundation, impacted millions of people, and paved the way for modern dance pop. And the craziest part? They're still selling out arenas today. Let's get into it.

Shannon: The Architect
You can't talk about freestyle without bowing down to Shannon. When "Let the Music Play" dropped, it completely shattered the mold. It gave us that heavily syncopated, hard hitting drum beat that became the blueprint for everything that followed. Shannon showed the world that dance music didn't have to be mindless - it could have soul, and it could make you feel something. Fans connected with her instantly. Today, Shannon's still gracing the stage, proving that her legendary voice hasn't lost a single step. If you catch a freestyle festival this year, there's a good chance you'll see her bringing the house down.

Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam: The Crossover Legends
Lisa Lisa took the underground freestyle sound and forced the mainstream pop world to pay attention. "I Wonder If I Take You Home" and "Can You Feel the Beat" were absolute monsters on the radio. She had this incredibly unique, fierce delivery that made every young girl want to be her. Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam broke down barriers for Latino artists on mainstream radio. Their impact's immeasurable. Where's she now? Lisa Lisa's practically the reigning queen of the current Freestyle Explosion tours, packing massive venues in 2026 and showing a whole new generation exactly how it's done.

Stevie B: The Undisputed King
If there's a King of Freestyle, it's Stevie B. The man just couldn't miss. From party anthems like "Spring Love" and "Party Your Body" to the ultimate number one ballad "Because I Love You", Stevie B knew exactly what his fans wanted. His music was the backdrop to countless first dates, high school dances, and summer nights. He gave the genre a commercial viability that nobody expected. And guess what? He's still headlining enormous tours. If you look at the 2026 tour posters, Stevie B's name's right there at the top, delivering those classic hits to tens of thousands of screaming fans.

TKA: The High Energy Powerhouse
When TKA stepped onto a stage, you knew you were in for a masterclass in performance. K7 and the guys brought a raw, street level hip hop energy to freestyle. "One Way Love", "Maria", and "Tears May Fall" remain absolute anthems. They didn't just sing - they danced their hearts out and gave fans a visually stunning show. TKA became the best selling Latin freestyle group in history, and they heavily influenced boy bands and dance groups that came later. They're still performing as TKA, and their live shows today still pack the exact same electric punch as they did back in the day.

The Cover Girls: Glamour Meets the Beat
With tracks like "Show Me" and "Wishing on a Star", The Cover Girls brought a touch of glamour and pop polish to the freestyle world. They were fashion icons. Every girl wanted to dress like them, and every guy fell in love with them. They harmonized beautifully over those classic pounding beats, proving that freestyle could be both edgy and incredibly beautiful. The original lineup's seen some changes over the years, but The Cover Girls name still carries immense weight, and they're still out there touring the country.

Judy Torres: The Queen of Hearts
If you ever needed a shoulder to cry on after a bad breakup, Judy Torres was there for you. Songs like "No Reason to Cry" and "Come Into My Arms" still hit incredibly hard. Judy didn't just sing the lyrics - she bled them. Her fans feel an incredibly deep personal connection to her because her music's so relentlessly honest. Beyond music, Judy became an iconic radio personality in New York City, connecting with her fans on a daily basis. She's still a massively requested performer and a beloved figure in the freestyle community.

Sa-Fire: The Vocal Dynamo
Sa-Fire brought serious vocal chops to the table. "Boy I've Been Told" and "Love Is On Her Mind" showed an incredible range and a fierce independence. She wasn't just a singer - she was a writer and a creator who demanded respect in a very competitive music industry. Sa-Fire inspired countless young women to stand up for themselves. While she doesn't tour as relentlessly as some of the others today, her impact remains a foundational pillar of the genre.

George Lamond: The Voice
When "Bad of the Heart" hit the airwaves, it was game over. George Lamond possessed a voice that could rival the biggest pop stars on the planet. His vocal runs, his undeniable swagger, and his ability to convey deep emotion made him an instant superstar. He brought a sophisticated, incredibly polished sound to freestyle. Today, George's still out there crushing it on stage alongside his peers, and his voice sounds just as pristine as it did the day he recorded those classic tracks.

Cynthia & Johnny O: The Ultimate Duo
I've got to group Cynthia and Johnny O together, even though they had massive solo careers. Cynthia gave us huge hits like "Change on Me", and Johnny O gave us "Fantasy Girl". But when they teamed up for "Dreamboy/Dreamgirl", they created what's arguably the greatest freestyle duet of all time. It's the ultimate tale of star crossed lovers set to a frantic, irresistible beat. They gave a voice to every teenager who felt hopelessly in love. Both Cynthia and Johnny O still draw huge crowds on the live circuit, frequently performing together to the absolute delight of their lifelong fans.

Debbie Deb: The Weekend Warrior
If you ever stepped foot in a roller rink on a Friday night, you know Debbie Deb. "When I Hear Music" and "Lookout Weekend" remain the ultimate party starters. Her music was heavily electro influenced, with those bouncy, infectious beats that made it impossible to sit still. Hip hop and EDM artists today still heavily sample Debbie Deb's tracks, proving just how forward thinking her sound really was. She remains a beloved figure, occasionally popping up at retro shows to remind everyone who started the party.

How They Changed the Game
Freestyle dance music wasn't just a passing fad - it was a cultural revolution. Before freestyle, mainstream radio was incredibly segregated. These artists, many of them incredibly talented kids from Puerto Rican and Italian neighborhoods, forced the door open. They created a hybrid sound that blended the energy of hip hop, the melodies of pop, and the relentless pulse of electronic dance music. They laid the groundwork for the massive EDM festivals we see today.

But their real impact was on the people. For the fans, this music's a time machine. It takes them right back to their first car, their first kiss, their first heartbreak. The freestyle community's like a massive family. When you go to a Freestyle Explosion concert today, you aren't just watching a retro act - you're experiencing a beautiful, chaotic reunion. The fans know every single lyric, the artists still give it everything they've got, and the energy in the room's purely electric.

These artists proved that you don't need a massive corporate machine to make a lasting impact. You just need a heavy beat, a synthesizer, and a whole lot of heart. And that's why, all these years later, the music still plays on.

Who are your favorite freestyle artists - and what are your favorite freestyle songs?
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