yet another... "Something To Offend Everyone"!!!

sietzsounds

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SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE
>>>
>>> 1. What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
>>> Juan on Juan
>>>
>>> 2. What is a Yankee?
>>> The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
>>>
>>> 3. What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
>>> The position of the dirt bag.
>>>
>>> 4. Why is divorce so expensive?
>>> Because it's worth it.
>>>
>>> 5. What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
>>> One US leader.
>>>
>>> 6. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
>>> Doughnuts.
>>>
>>> 7. Why is air a lot like sex?
>>> Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
>>>
>>> 8. Why is Chelsea Clinton so homely?
>>> Because Janet Reno is her real father.
>>>
>>> 9. What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a
>> room together?
>>> 100 people who don't do dick.
>>>
>>> (JUST WARMING UP!)
>>>
>>> 1. What do you call a smart blonde?
>>> A golden retriever.
>>>
>>> 2. What do attorneys use for birth control?
>>> Their personalities.
>>>
>>> 3. What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
>>> 45 lbs.
>>>
>>> 4. What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
>>> 45 minutes.
>>>
>>> 5. How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
>>> None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.
>>>
>>> 6. What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
>>> Through his chest with a sharp knife.
>>>
>>> 7. Why do men want to marry virgins?
>>> They can't stand criticism.
>>>
>>> 8. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,
>>> caring,
>> and good-looking?
>>> Because those men already have boyfriends.
>>>
>>> 9. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
>>> After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
>>>
>>> 10. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
>>> The same urge that makes dogs chase cars
>>> they have no intention of driving.
>>>
>>> 11. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade.
>>> Who has the biggest boobs?
>>> The blonde, because she's 18.
>>>
>>> 12. Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
>>> Because they have cotton balls.
>>>
>>> 13. What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
>>> A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
>>>
>>> 14. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
>>> Are you sure it's mine?"
>>>
>>> 15. What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
>>> Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
>>>
>>> 16. Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
>>> Mace will do that to you.
>>>
>>> 17. Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
>>> Everyone has the same DNA.
>>>
>>> 18. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
>>> Breasts don't have eyes.
>>>
>>> 19. Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi
>>> He walks around saying "Yo."
>>>
>>> 20. Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car
>> only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
>>> Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
>>>
>>> What's the Cuban National Anthem?
>>> "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"
>>>
>>> Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
>>> A different bar.
>>>
>>> Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
>>> They named him "Sum Ting Wong"
>>>
>>> What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
>> other?
>>> A speech impediment.
>>>
>>> What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
>> half-mast?
>>> They're hiring.
>>>
>>> What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
>>> A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the
>> cage
>>> along with... "a recipe".
>>>
>>> How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
>>> Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
>>>
>>> What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
>> fairytale?
>>> A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."
>>> A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
>>>
>>> Years ago...When 100 white men chased one black man,
>>> we called it the Ku Klux Klan;
>>> today they call it the PGA TOUR.
>>>
>>> Why is there no Disneyland in China?
>>> No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
>>
 

Krystal

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sietzsounds said:
>>> What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
>> fairytale?
>>> A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."
>>> A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
>>>

:lol :lol :lol
 
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