I mean, why not? How many times have I come on here looking so blind to what's going on in my relationship, and right now I can really use some support, even just a little from someone is more than I'm getting now, and right now I just feel really alone and confused. Okay. here I go...I recently I found out I am pregnant. Of course it was unexpected, because we always knew of his plans to go back to Ecuador. I wish I could be more happy about it. I love children and have wanted a baby for the longest time, though I always wanted things to go down differently, for my baby's father to share in the joy, but that's not how things went down for me. He already told me he wishes the baby didn't exist, and he's said lots of other things too. Though he keeps changing attitudes and I find that as confusing as anything. One second he's thinking of names and making plans, and the next he regrets he ever met me. Things weren't even going as bad until I found the letter. He sent me out to do the grocery shopping last week and on the top of the back seat was a legal pad with a letter he was writing his son's mother. I just saw the last line where he told her how much he still was in love with her. I confronted him and he told me that he never loved me and was just with me to pass the time until he went back. Everything is my fault because as soon as I found I he was still married to her, I should have got rid of him and the fact that I didn't end the relationship makes me a puta, and if he loses his woman, it's my fault.
Like I said, other moments, he's totally different and tries to act like nothing happened, but I think when certain things are said, they are harder to forget, and he should realize things can never be the same, and believe me many more things were said, and I just feel so crappy. I hate fighting, and I'm really sensitive, especially now.
My daughter found the test kit box and knows and is really happy, and a part of me is happy, just scared and stressed, and with every little pain I get, I get scared something is wrong. Maybe it sounds stupid, but I just wish someone would hug me and tell me everything will be alright...:sosad
Like I said, other moments, he's totally different and tries to act like nothing happened, but I think when certain things are said, they are harder to forget, and he should realize things can never be the same, and believe me many more things were said, and I just feel so crappy. I hate fighting, and I'm really sensitive, especially now.
My daughter found the test kit box and knows and is really happy, and a part of me is happy, just scared and stressed, and with every little pain I get, I get scared something is wrong. Maybe it sounds stupid, but I just wish someone would hug me and tell me everything will be alright...:sosad
