To Cheat Or Not To Cheat?

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FRESTLDIVA

FRESTLDIVA

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I was cheated on, it happen when we were not together, we are married, we talked about it (as much as I wanted to hear it) but I get a feeling he doens't understand the magnitude of his actions against our relationship. I know things will never be the same, I can try to forgive and truly move on (together). BUT I don't think he has been impacted as much as I am. Will cheating on him or perhaps if he thinks i did, make the plains even? Will he then appreciate the pain I'm going thru and truly make the same efforts to make this work the way he is wishing I did? Put aside the obvious leave him, he is not worth it.

Help I feel so confused.
 
Diva! Sorry to hear about your problems but 2 wrongs don't make a right. All you can do it to try to forgive him and move on. You'll never forget it and I understand that and if you can not find it in your heart to forgive him then you have to move on.
 
i think if you cheat your going against your own morals and you
may find that your feelings and self respect are hurt even more
after that.

But if you really want to do it.. you kow where my office is

😛

nahhh lol just playin with ya on that last part.
If you can face yourself in the mirror after doing that
to yourself then do it. If you feel that it's not a good
idea to spitefully do that then please don't do it to yourself.
 
i think if you cheat on someone its like cheating on yourself and that means that you cant even be true to yourself and thats a f*cked up thing to do
 
Kickem to the curb....that prick!!!
If you have no children with him, then I really think you should up and bounce.

These days marraige is not forever, its just until one of the 2 screws up, then its over.

On top of that, you dont know where he is dipping is dip-stick.
He might get diseases and pass the drips to you.

IF my girl cheated, and I for some stupid reason decided to keep her, I'd be taking her to the clinic weekly.

Peace
 
cheating on him or making him think u did wont change his feeling towards what he has done he may think it is an open door to cheat again on u ..i think u need to move on.u dont need a man who thinks that cheating isnt a big deal... u tryed to make it work ..get out while u can.
 
HOLD UP!!! Diva said that it happened when they WEREN'T together....therefore, it's not cheating.....though I know what you mean
 
OH I SEE...I HAD TO READ THAT TWICE...THAT'S CONSIDERED MARRIED BUT SEPERATED..(I SEE IT ALL THE TIME WHEN I TAKE MEDICAID APPLICATIONS) AND IN THOSE CASES I WOULD SAY THE MAN CAN DO WHAT HE WANTS IF HE'S NOT LIVING WITH YOU. ONCE YOU TAKE HIM BACK LOOKING AT WHAT HE WAS DOING WHEN YOU SEPERATED IS NOT GOING TO DO YOU ANY GOOD AND TO CHEAT ON HIM NOW THAT HE IS BACK IN YOUR HOUSE WOULD BE TOTALLY WRONG ON YOUR PART. IF YOU CAN'T START OVER WITH HIM OR TRUST HIM THAN YOU SHOULDN'T BE WITH HIM.
 
yeah crazybtch...it SHOULDN'T matter....but when you gotta prove to that person that you are the BEST there is, the BEST there was, and the BEST there ever will be....you just gotta let 'em know, ya know what I'm saying?
 
if u say that u were not together when he cheated.. then how exactly is it a cheating? did i miss something?

but if he did cheap on u however, acknowledging of ur possible dissaproval, then u shouldn't forgive him... it was wrong of him, unmoral in a way...

and i would have never married him (am i right that u two married AFTER he cheated on u?)... but u can't change that now... so NO don't cheat on HIM, u'll feel REALLY bad after... but u can punish him in other ways, ur a smart girl.. i'm sure u can come up with something.
 
I really lost focus on the part --- I would be hurting MYSELF!!
Thanks everyone , everyone's opinions helped.

Our marriage anniversary is coming up (5years) and I've mentioned I don't feel like celebrating much. I'm devasted about this situation. The cheating part took place when he had left the house with the idea he was not returning. Marriage these days are taken far too less serious and excuses to leave come quicker than the rising sun. Though I agree I have every "right" excuse to end it...I just wanted to really be sure I've given the marriage all possible chances.
Thanks everyone -- you really helped me.

besitos!
 
DON'T CHEAT!!!! Keep your self respect.....thats the only way you will be happy
 
To cheat or not to cheat...do 2 wrongs make it right? If you kill someone related to you, then you kill someone related to me, would you make it right? no you wouldn't because killing is never justified. This opens debate for alot of things. Just cause he cheated, doesn't mean that you should cheat as well. If you say you are truthful, keep it truthful,,,keep it real
 
1sxychica said:
but u can punish him in other ways, ur a smart girl.. i'm sure u can come up with something. [/B]
Click to expand...

Dont degrade yourself by cheating to prove to him how much it hurts. Retaliate by not showing him how u truly care. That hurts the most. Punish him by ignoring him for few days, put him second to priorties, go out with your friends..do some partying...dont dwell on it girl...cuz life is too short....and like they said earlier if u dont got no kids..BOUNCE ...if hes cheated before (u say its not gonna be the same) u can bet your bottom dollar dat fool will do it again. <---sorry to say that but statistics show that 80% that cheated before will do it again.<---its issues they have ...it wasnt YOU...dont ever Blame yourself, those were his actions. But if u truly love him..like the saying goes.."When does it come to that point when enuf is enuf?...some say never ..cuz thats true love". If u decide to be that person..expect to feel PAIN..GOOD LUCK Girl...your heart will decide for you in the End.😉
 
Frestldiva,

I Truly Feel Your Pain..but You Know What Two Wrong's Don't Make A Right! I Was Cheated On 5 Yrs Ago While I Was Pregnant. God, It Was Awful..the Rings Of The Cell Phone Ringing At Night, Busted Emails (yes, I Tamper Into Computers) Lol The Nightly Computer Chats. I Don't Need To Go On~but It Is Hard..i Am In Love W/my Husband But The Pain Still Lies Within. You Begin To Wonder If It Is You..honey, Look At Yourself You Deserve Better..try And Make It Work, Seek Help And Try Before You Give Up. They Say The First Ten Years Are The Hardest. Lift Your Head Up!! I Have Been In Your Shoes. Need Any One On One..you Got One Here That Can Back You. But Definitly, Do Not Cheat!! Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right. All My Best!!
 
My ex cheated on me, while we were married and I was pregnant, we seperated and I forgave him, but it was not forgotten...flashbacks all the times, my mind wandered.....the beeps, the call, the latenessess, the arguments, the gossip, I could not live like that, it got to the point I looked at men in a different lite, my love changed. I ended the marriage, when I kissed the lips of another man. Today Im in peace seeking a true man, staying there would make me suffer. I say it wont work out, but just remember, why were the reasons he seperated from your side, and depends how long the seperation took placed, was it fresh? They're are always possibilities, in a marriage seperation, I dont like that back and forth shyt either so I think something not working out here. If you think you cant let go, well move on mama.

and today I may add he is with that woman he cheated on me with, and has two kids.
 
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