These are pretty funny except for the last line

HennyLuv159

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ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

>

> Smart man + smart woman = romance

>

> Smart man + dumb woman = affair

>

> Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

>

> Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

>

>

>

> OFFICE ARITHMETIC

>

> Smart boss + smart employee = profit

>

> Smart boss + dumb employee = production

>

> Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

>

> Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

>

>

>

> SHOPPING MATH

>

> A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

>

> A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

>

>

>

> GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

>

> A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

>

> A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

>

> A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can

spend.

>

> A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

>

>

>

> HAPPINESS

>

> To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a

> little.

>

> To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to

> understand her at all.

>

>

>

> LONGEVITY

>

> Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot

more

> willing to die.

>

>

>

> PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

>

> A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

>

> A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

>

>

>

> DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

>

> A woman has the last word in any argument.

>

> Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

>

>

>

> HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

>

> Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs

and

> cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started

doing

> the same thing to them at funerals.

>

>

>

> SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS

YOU

> KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.

 
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