* Living on the Down Low *

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SuzyD

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Hi CF Friends~

This topic will air on Oprah, this Thursday.
Anyone have comments about people who are
"living on the down low" ???


*******************************************************
Author J.L. King says there's a secret sexual lifestyle called living on the "down low," an expression used to describe men who are married or have girlfriends but are secretly sleeping with men. J.L. knows first-hand about living this double life.

Is He Gay?
"Why do I have to label myself to make you comfortable? …The act of the sex is homosexuality, but I don't want to get caught up in the whole gay culture, because the media and people look at gay people as being less than a man [in the black community]. The media has let white gay people feel more comfortable in their skin and it's accepted. The greatest taboo is to be black and homosexual, and I refuse to be labeled and classified that folks will look at me as something different. I am a man."

His Marriage
"My marriage wasn't a lie, because I love my wife, she was my best friend, we were running partners. What was a lie about the marriage was my desire to have sex with other men. I did not reveal that to her because I was scared."

Gratification vs. Orientation
"If I was a gay man, I may want to be in a relationship with another man and play house. But when you're on the "down low" all you want to do is have sex."


http://www2.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200404/tows_past_20040416_c.jhtml
 
Thats not called down low thats called cheating. 😀
 
Yeah it is.
But I guess the part of keeping their "gay acts" a secret is the down low. (Or as many of us say: The "D.L."). Many of those men are just confused, or scared, or are not aware that it's ok to be openly gay, & still be a masculine man.
By keeping it a secret, they end up hurting innocent people along the way. (Like their wives).
Since the 90's, i've called them "DLD's". ("Down Low Duckies") - lol.
 
That's been known about for a while.

My opinion, that's nasty. If you want to be with men, then don't marry a woman and mess up their lives.
 
The highest "community" living with A.I.D.S. right now is not gay men. It's straight African American women, who were given the virus by men living on the "down low", getting it from an infected gay man, and then passing it to numerous women.
 
Your right Chuckie..if you wanna sleep with a man then please don't mess up your woman's life by living two seperate lives. If you like men then fine be with a man. It's horrible about African American women suffering from AIDS cuz of their men wanting to be on the DL
 
these "men" (and I use that term loosely) need to grow up and get real. They are hurting way too many people.
 
You see they need to make stronger laws in America to cut down on this shit. They should lock up guys like that in prision for years and years until they rot. You don't jepordize your family like that! :nono
 
Well there is..I know that if you have Aids and know it, it is your responsibility to tell your significant other, as this is the law and u could suffer the consequences. As for the Dr.'s they are only allowed to disclose if you carry the virus to your significant other only if he or she is a patient of the Dr. otherwise due to HIPPA the doc cannot release any info on your Diagnosis unless u authorize it.
Enigma said:
You see they need to make stronger laws in America to cut down on this shit. They should lock up guys like that in prision for years and years until they rot. You don't jepordize your family like that! :nono
Click to expand...
 
I also think not being educated about the virus and some of these women living in such poor conditions also have helped spread this horrible disease through out the community. It is very sad.
 
I agree with you on that Itala that is very sad 🙁
 
People have different reasons why they don't live an openly gay lifestyle, i.e. religious reasons, family, etc. It's much more of a societal issue than we think. Are gays/lesbians REALLY accepted in this country as equal citizens? I think not. Of course jeopardizing one's health and the health of one's family is not the way to go, but the larger issues need to be addressed so that everyone can feel comfortable to live his/her life the way it was intended to be lived.
 
the show is on now ................................ of course the audience is "shocked" to hear what the men are saying and what their reasons are.

🙂 Oprah said it right "you men are lying to your wives"
 
For real though these men should not get married...didn't the last 20 plus years teach them anything??? The brain is in the upper head guys, not the lower one....get with it.
 
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