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Mandy

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Hi everyone 🙂! I need some advice. Im dating this guy who Ive been with for almost 9 months. I love him with ALL of my heart and he loves me the same way. Its a mutual deep lovin, but it took alot of work to get where we are, you know. Our relationship started out strong...then really rocky for awhile n back to strong with some bumps.
Well lately Ive been feelin really jealous pretty often.....n never in my life in any relationships did i feel jealous! yuck eww. i had exs that were jealous n i totally didnt understand them n would just be like whatever n eventually break up with them.
Like near the beginnin of our relationship some girl flirted with him n he didnt really stop her...but he didnt flat out flirt with her, he just enjoyed the attention n smiled. to me that was flirtin back cuz i would know im a libra n WAS an expert flirt.
Anyways i guess maybe i never got over that....i never had a guy be like how i used to be.
Now lately when a girl comes up to him i get so jealous, even if he knows her. Or i get jealous of the girls he works with

HELLLLLLP whats wrong with me i was never jealous before. :0(
I really do know he loves me....n he hasnt been flirtin, he has been true. i just cant seem to get past that one lil thing in the past. I dont want to lose him because im bein jealous....n lose a love that is REAL.

Has any1 ever felt like me...jealous of girls/guys at work or just jealous period? If so how did u change how u were actin...cuz it wasnt necessary?
 
MY GIRL AND I GO THROUGH THAT SOMETIMES BECAUSE IT IS HARD FOR HER TO BE WITH ME A DJ WHO IS COOL WITH EVERYONE. FLIRTING IS NOT ALWAYS FLIRTING NO MATTER WHAT OR HOW IT LOOKS! I KNOWI WAS JUST BEING NICE TO PEEPS(GIRLS) AND SHE MADE IT LOOK LIKE I HAD THEN NAKED IN MY BED! EVER HEAR BELIEVE HALF OF WHAT YOU SEE AND NOTHING YOU HEAR? AND ITS TRUE! DON'T LET LIL BULL$HIT THINGS HAMPER WHAT CAN BE A BETTER THING!
 
Hiya LuisLikeDis!
Wow if my man was a dj i think my heart would be torn in a million pieces cuz i couldnt handle seein 5 billion girls flirtin with him 24/7.
When you love some1 so much it really hurts to see them with another girl who u know likes them n see them both smilin. It crushes your heart n makes it hard to breath...EVEN IF you know they WONT cheat or go astray in any way (although he cheated on his old gfs) I feel in my heart he wont cheat on me i know he wouldnt...

And it would hurt more if my man was talkin with some girl n he didnt introduce me as his girl. To me its about respect....like if your with ur girl....be urself n talk to your friends n stuff, but if its a girl u know gives u that flirt vibe....dont be overly nice...cuz girls get the wrong idea really easy. I think thats my mans prob somtimes he can be too nice.

And i heard of that sayin n sometimes i take it to heart... Believe none of what u hear n half of what u see. which would mean i couldnt believe any of what he said...n believe my eyes which i see him smilin n bein too nice....so that sayin leads to the conclusion to believe my eyes...n then im jealous again lol

Anyways why r guys too nice sometimes n totally blind that the girl whos workin with them or talkin to them is flirtin with them?

n i do want to get past this jealousy thing n enjoy this precious love we have
 
Mandy, my ex wife, when we first started seeing each other, numerous girls would approach me, touch me (I would try as best to get inches away when they touched me), flirt with me, and I made nothing of it. But I did laugh many times, and smiled. Was is wrong? Of course not. Why? Because I have a good heart and cannot be direct and blunt with a chick with mean words. I can't say "Hey listen, I'm taken so..." I can't be that way with a girl. NEVER WILL BE EITHER. Because I am secure enough to let those moments just die on it's own. That girl will NEVER get me. So she gets the point when I just smile, and don't flirt, or whatever. I'm one of those guys that are content with one pie if you know what I mean. Plus I'm the type of guy that can eat the same food that is left in the fridge for an entire week. So you know what that means right? There are guys who NEVER get tired. I'm one of them. I'm content with what I have, and I stick with it.

My ex-wife always accused me in the beginning of flirting, but lord, I NEVER liked the girl that drooled over me! 😡 At one point, my exwife cried right there on the spot, when the girl was around me! And this made me so upset, that I felt like cutting the string, and being single.


You have to be careful, for if you show strong signs of jealously around him, it can be quite uncomfortable for him. Don't set yourself up also. To you, he's on top of the world, but it's supposed to be the opposite, girls first, so you supposed to be on top of the world. Even though girlfriend and boyfriend should both be on top of the world, I think in my opinion this should apply to couples that are in the "years" range (one year and up).

If you feel in your heart that he loves you...so whats the chaos? Jealousy, shouldn't trouble you girl. 9 months is pretty good in a relationship, but it's still a very young relationship, so you don't want nothing getting in the way, you don't want negative vibes, because from the smallest things, bigger things develop. And besides, you said you had bumpy times, so I assume that was some discussions and arguements. So, that past had some negative moments, add some more present negative ones, and you don't have a bright future with your relationship. Because love birds, never argue on and so on. Love birds are supposed to love each other, and be smart enough to keep and maintain things settled calmly, for as much as possible. Besides, you'll look back at it and you'll find that that wasted time; could have been time well spent instead with happier moments.

So with that said, if you feel in your heart that he adores you, if you feel and do see that he is faithful, and you see it, then don't focus on such nonsense. Because let me tell you, being jealous, your mind will play games on you! You'll see yourself when you're single saying "Damn, why did I do that?" Take it for me, I've said this to myself, I used to be a very jealous guy, but now, I realized, it's not worth it, because if things happen, it was meant to be.
 
Thanks so much enigma for the advice! I really appreciate it.

"But I did laugh many times, and smiled. Was i wrong?Of course not "

well to me if a girl is flirtin with you or a guy n u smile n laugh back then to me thats flirtin n to do that in front of your girl or man is hurtful n disrespect

" Because I have a good heart and cannot be direct and blunt with a chick with mean words"

You sound like my man lol He cant be direct n blunt, but im not askin for him to say mean words whatsoever, cuz i have a good heart to n smile when i talk to people, but when im with my man i tone it down...if im talkin to some1 of the opposite sex, out of respect n so the guy doesnt get the wrong impression of my niceness. I would just prefer him to introduce me n make it nicely brief if its a girl who likes him n hes with me...spendin time with me.
."I'm content with what I have, and I stick with it. "

Thats good to know, despite other girls flirtin your still content. And hes used that word before ...im the first girl he ever loved.
n i feel so content n such strong feelins for him that i never felt ever for any guy. I dont want to lose him.
Wow sorry to hear about ur ex accusin u of that n hurtin u....i just realized the other night how it must hurt to not be trusted. he gets jealous too sometimes n its not like im jealous 24/7

We both put each other on top of the world....im all about balance i wouldnt have it any other way.
Yeah i want to get rid of the negativity thats why im here 🙂

"because if things happen, it was meant to be."

I think thats my solution maybe to enjoy what i have n not worry about losin it...because he does adore me n i adore him....and i want to have a bright future with him!!!!!!
 
Originally posted by Mandy
Thanks so much enigma for the advice! I really appreciate it.

Mandy...you're welcome! 🙂

well to me if a girl is flirtin with you or a guy n u smile n laugh back then to me thats flirtin n to do that in front of your girl or man is hurtful n disrespect

I agree! I think I should of rephrase that diffrently. You see, I had girls constantly complimenting my eyes, my look, many wanted to marry me, many wanted to have sex with me, forget it, so I used to crack up on the spot. But not laugh or smile back to get somewhere you know. 😛
 
Mandy..just be careful with the jealously bit, because it can ruin a relationship. I have had it happen to me. I used to be sooo jealous with my ex-boyfriend. It was to the point that I was acting possesive towards him. I didn't want he talking to NO girls or nothing! It is good to be jealous, he needs to look at it as a good thing b/c it shows that you really do care about him. Being jealous to a point where it makes you sick..no realtionship is worth that. There is jealously and a matter of trust invovled. Do you trust him? I used to be pissed off when ex-girlrfriends would approach my boyfriend. Or even when girls would flirt with him. If he flirts back, then you know you have a problem! Then I would see that as he doesn't care about you.
 
Mandy said:
Hi everyone 🙂! I need some advice. Im dating this guy who Ive been with for almost 9 months. I love him with ALL of my heart and he loves me the same way. Its a mutual deep lovin, but it took alot of work to get where we are, you know. Our relationship started out strong...then really rocky for awhile n back to strong with some bumps.
Well lately Ive been feelin really jealous pretty often.....n never in my life in any relationships did i feel jealous! yuck eww. i had exs that were jealous n i totally didnt understand them n would just be like whatever n eventually break up with them.
Like near the beginnin of our relationship some girl flirted with him n he didnt really stop her...but he didnt flat out flirt with her, he just enjoyed the attention n smiled. to me that was flirtin back cuz i would know im a libra n WAS an expert flirt.
Anyways i guess maybe i never got over that....i never had a guy be like how i used to be.
Now lately when a girl comes up to him i get so jealous, even if he knows her. Or i get jealous of the girls he works with

HELLLLLLP whats wrong with me i was never jealous before. :0(
I really do know he loves me....n he hasnt been flirtin, he has been true. i just cant seem to get past that one lil thing in the past. I dont want to lose him because im bein jealous....n lose a love that is REAL.

Has any1 ever felt like me...jealous of girls/guys at work or just jealous period? If so how did u change how u were actin...cuz it wasnt necessary?
NOW YOU KNOW WHY YOUR EX WERE JEALOUS YOU ANSWERED YOUR QUESTION BUT LETS CHECK THIS OUT IN DIFFERENT WAY
LOOK ITS NORMAL TO FEEL LIKE THAT SOMETIMES IF THE GUY KNOWS WHERE HE STANDS AND ALWAYS GOTO YOU YOU SHOULDNT WORRY YOU SHOULD PROUD OF WHAT YOU GOT PPL BE CHECKIN HIM OUT SEEING WHAT YOU HAVE SO YOU SHOULD BE LIKE YEAH HES W/ ME SWEAT HIM
BUT LIKE I SAID B4 ITS A NORMAL FEELIN AND YOUR GROWING STRONG FEELINS TOWARDS YOUR MAN
 
Mandy,
If you guys love each other. And you guys have that bond. Then there should be no worries. He is always on your mind and vice versa. I think you have nothing to worry about
 
Well....speaking on behalf of a DJ...I know what it must feel like...but I take the time to remind my ex-special lady that she is the one and only for me. Bottom line is that we have this understanding that we are mutual to eachother. She trusts me, and I trust her. But I kind of like it when I see guys hitting on her at the bar...and I just walk up to her and start whispering something in her ear like..."you that guy is hitting on you and he is probably wondering what I am saying to you because he wishes he thought of it first...and don't forget to give him a quick look before you kiss me". Its all good fun.
 
MANDY ....LET ME GET IN ON THIS ONE...

I'M WITH A DJ TO THIS DAY..I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A WOMAN THAT IS SECURE IN MY SPOT..HE GETS ALOT OF ATTENTION BUT AS HIS WOMAN AND PROMOTER IT'S ALL ABOUT THE BUSINESS.

WHAT I NOTICE ABOUT HIM IS THAT HE DOES NOT GIVE A WOMAN ANY TYPE OF PLAY..NO CLOSENESS..EYE CONTACT OR ANYTHING AND MOST TIMES THEY HAVE TO COME THROUGH ME FIRST. IT WAS HARD IN THE BEGINNING UNTIL I REALIZED OUR PURPOSE IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY.

I'M NOT JEALOUS OFTEN LIKE BEFORE..IF ANYTHING HE'S THE JEALOUS ONE..LOL BUT I BELEIVE THAT IT HAS TO DO WITH A GUILTY CONSCIOUS OF HIS PAST AND IF YOURS IS THE SAME YOU WILL ALWAYS WORRY ABOUT SOMEONE REPAYING YOU FOR YOUR DIRT...

DUE TO GOOD COMMUNICATION BETWEEN US WE ARE ON OUR 6TH YEAR TOGETHER AND HE DOES NOT DISRESPECT ME BY STARING AT OTHER WOMEN IN MY PRESENCE. WHATEVER HE DOES WITH THE BOYS IS HIS BUSINESS AND TO BE EXPECTED.
 
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